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Saturday, November 25, 2006


  Anything can happen when you least expect it. For all I know I might suddenly have a heart attack or something as I type this thing.
Anyway my grandmother just died. It was sad. I cried.

That's what I am supposed to do, right?

I was shocked and scared at the same time.
The reason I am crying is not because I was saddened by her sudden disappearance it was because of two things.

1. My father is going to arrive soon. He was the only reason why I try to coexist with my grandmother aside from the fact that she is my grandmother. I was crying because of frustration. He did not arrive in time.

2. I am afraid of her. Even if she was still alive I think she is already haunting me. Now she is dead she could haunt me even more.

>>>>

I know everyone has to die soon. Everyone also knows that I have to die soon.

However, people just don't want to die. Why? Because they are addicted to this drug called "life".

Life is a drug that can make a person happy or sad. A stimulant and a depressant in one. But once you are addicted to this drug the effects are very unexpected. Sometimes a person can go to the extremes just to get more of it. Once you are withdrawn from this drug the person could (err... would) die.

Why don't I want to die?

1. Because there are so many people here on earth that I do not want to leave yet. There are unfinished tasks, unsolved problems, and unfulfilled dreams that would require life to accomplish.

2. Because I too curious. I do not know if dying is an eternal blank. If souls are really true. If afterlife is really true. Religious and scientific things that are still haunting me.


And finally my main reason...

3. Because dying is painful. If it was not painful then it would be fine by me but no matter how I think of it dying is as painful as dying. If I'm going to die to die I do not want to die because of the pain.


I want to die someday. I think I'm not that addicted to life yet... but slowly as I discover many things I am slowly being more addicted to it every minute...

>>>

wala kang maintindihan? Problema mo na yun!

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