Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Okay, I majorly need help people!!!! So please, please take the time to comment. *clears throat* It's Michael. He's going WAY too far now...last night we were IM-ing and he got all weird...first of all, I wasn't saying much because he's been getting really annoying with the liking me stuff...but THEN he said "don't be afraid of me..." which, I have no clue why he said that...he started to freak me out too! He asked "Which do you like doing more, baking potatoes or thinking?" and I don't have the slightest idea if that means something sick or not, but then he went on and asked "Do you like soft beds or firm beds more?" and that just blew me over. I was scared shitless this morning! I didn't go to school cause he said he would find me at lunch because he wanted to buy something for me...and he went on about either hugging me or having his arm around my shoulder--the thought of which mad me sick! I talked to my friend Liz through IM earlier today, and she got pissed. She said he was sexually harassing me and that I should report him to the principal... I don't know what to do though! I mean...was he just messing around? (Liz said it doesn't matter if he was or wasn't) But is that acting too rashly? (Liz doesn't think so...) And I seriously feel like he might freaking kill himself if I do something like that...but...but...UGH!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! *Midnight Malice*

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Friday, November 3, 2006

Hehehe, It's lunch period right now...and I don't think I'm supposed to be on otaku...cuz they block myspace on these computers...but no one has ever heard of theotaku here so I'm free to do my bidding -evil laugh- Anywho, opening night for "In A Grove" was last night--yay! I MIGHT be putting up pictures soon, but I'm not sure...but it went really well, I kind of started to lose my voice though-YIPES! Cuz I don't use my normal voice in the show, I play three Japanese demons, so I do a different for each and it really strained my vocal cords...hopefully I'll be fine tonight though...I'm TRYING not to talk much today and save it, but I can only hope... *Midnight Malice*

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Monday, October 30, 2006

Rehearsals today are from 6 to 10 pm...yup...that's because it's opening week and all...we open on Thursday...it's gonna be good, but I'm still nervous...the past two plays I've been in...I've had nightmares that I'm gonna screw up somehow...It's childish, but it still freaks me out because I really care about the show...oh well...it hasn't come yet...and luckily the last time, the nightmare came after we closed... So...I still haven't told Michael that I don't want to go out with him...it's because he hasn't really technically asked me out yet...so it would be kind of awkward to tell him no before he asks properly...right? Ugh! I don't know...I've only been asked out once before, and that was threw a note! Ugh -_- Anywho, hehe...a junior friend of mine (Brandon) is starting to give me "popularity lessons" lol...it's really funny, cuz he talks about how he's gonna teach me how to walk and what kind of clothes would look best on my body and shit--lol! ^^ It's really cute, cuz he wants to make me more outgoing since I'm pretty shy right now...he's not trying to change who I am--Oh God no! He's already said he really likes my personality...I've just got to talk to more people (which I do want to learn how to do). Hehe, he's determined to see me becoming a homecoming princess(not all preppy and crap though)--haha! It's so cute. ^^ *Midnight Malice*

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Sunday, October 29, 2006

-sigh- so much History homework. Well...can only blame myself for not starting it earlier...darn it. And I can't remember how to put music on my site either-lol. I'll just check the info I have in my pm box I guess... Well, hope all of you are enjoying your Sunday. ^^ I just got back a few hours ago from shopping at Target and I got oodles of new Asian jewlery and trinkets and stuff for my room--Yay! ^^ -sigh- Michael keeps on like...attempting to ask me out in roundabout ways...but how do I tell him no without crushing him? Ugh, my head hurts...cuz I want a boyfriend and I've never had one(pretty pathetic, huh?)...but I definately don't want him...why is life so complicated! ><

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Saturday, October 28, 2006

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! Sorry, I'm kinda freaking out...you know that guy I said I thought liked me but I didn't want to like him? Well...he just asked me out via IM-ing! >< Crapola! What am I supposed to do? I don't like him! -_- Oh dear oh dear oh dear..... O.O and now he says he was joking? sure, sure you were Michael -glares- Well, if you are, good, if you're not....shit. Anywho, in other news -clears throat- I have "tech day" for the play today. ^^ All day long though -_- Must take blanket, food, and music. yes...gotta write it down on my hand... Oh! My friend Liz is teaching me how to roleplay now! -nods vigorously- Here are the characters: Me Liz (human and wolf form-lol!) Gackt Mana (tiny, lives in a cookiejar--lol!) Yup yup! Gackt is obsessed with Vanilla-flavored food--so don't touch his Vanilla food, trust me! And Mana? Hehe, he's like our little live Barbie doll! Me brushed his hair! Yes I did! :D Haha, okay, now I can tell you're getting bored...or scared...or both--lol! Have a great Saturday! ^^ *Midnight Malice*

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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

-in a high-pitched voice- Weeeeheheheeee!!! I just joined the Mana-Sama Fan Club! Yay! -throws confetti- *Midnight Malice*

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Wow! I am doing SOO much better! ^^ Everything is as solved as it can get at the moment, so that's good...and I was able to blow off some steam on Friday as well. My friend Mandie invited me to come along to a corn maze with her and 5 of her other friends (so it was me, Mandie, Shannon, Shelby, David, Alex, and Marco.) OMG!!! It was a BLAST! My fist time going to one too! -_- At first I was pretty shy, like how I ALWAYS am when I'm around people I don't know very well, but I was pretty "open" (I guess you could say) by the end. OMG!!! Five of us (me, Mandie, Shannon, David, and Alex) started to screw around SOOO badly! Ha! Seriously, every two seconds someone would get tackled into the 8 foot corn stalks (or whatever you call them) And then a Security person came along with his flashlight and David just said, "Umm...yeah, they just kinda fell. They're alright though, they're alright." and then when we REALLY started to get crazy, the dude with the spotlight on a raised platform would totally blind us with the light, and so we'd run for a ways, and then start the tackling again, and so all of the rustling and laughing atracted the spotlight guy again, and OMG it was fun! Haha! David really started tackling me a lot though...think it might have been because of the weird sound that would always escape from me everytime he colided into me ^^' hehe, but I almost always ended up swinging around while falling so that I kind of just always landed on his arm or something instead of him on top of me-which would have been VERY freaky and uncomfortable...yeah, but Alex was funny/cute though, cuz he said he didn't want to hurt me (cuz me kinda small ^^), so he kind of just always picked me up lowered me til I was about a foot from the ground, and then just, like, dropped me/set me down. It was very strange, cuz I was just like, umm...okay, and just got back up. lol But yeah, oodles and oodles of fun... I feel pretty guilty though...cuz, I mean, we probably destroyed more than have of the corn maze because of tackling and pusing eachother into the corn (not to mention we were doing so for about 5 hours! lol) and because...I don't know...I know I enjoyed the physical contact more than I should have...don't get me wrong, we didn't do anything sick or anything! Bleh! >< Just tackled eachother, then helped eachother up, then pushed eachother, then helped eachother up, then tackled eachother--lol. But I mean...I found it comforting because of the sucky weak I had...is that bad? -_- Well, damn that's a long post...but I haven't been here in a few days, so thanks for bearing with me. ^^ *Midnight Malice*

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Thursday, October 19, 2006

-sigh- Big family issues were brought up again the other night...and I don't know what to do...what to thihnk...what to feel....I don't know whether I'm depressed, pissed off, or both...well, I guess I've entered my numb defense mode right now... Speaking of which, how do you like the new look? The song is "Fragrance" by Gackt, a good meditation song. I've been listening to it a lot lately.......it helps with what's going on right now, helps me relax and just think.... Hope everyone has a good Thursday. *Midnight Malice*

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Just about to leave for school, so I'll try to make this one will be quick. My hair is totally black and spikey now! :P I totally dressed all out emo/gothic/j-rocker/other (lol) yesturday -- my first day at school with the new hair since it was cut and dyed Saturday -- and OMG it was AMAZING!!! Hahahaha! What reactions, what reactions. Me LOVE my hair ^^ Funny story about it...I took it two Gackt pictures to my hairdresser and just kind of said "umm...so...this is kind of my insiration...yeah." haha! And she actually got it PERFECTLY! :D Me so happy. Thank you Kriss! Anywho, a big shout out to the wonderful, the amazing lemurturtle for helping me figure out the web sites and codes and all (for the music.) Thank you so much for your patience and info. ^^ Weee! Gackt's "Moon" album just got finished burning onto my CD! hehehe. --and yes, I still have an old-fashioned, "ancient technology" portable CD player. ^^' Bye peeps *Midnight Malice*

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Saturday, October 14, 2006

Okay, that's it! I am very annoyed at my friend Mandie right now. You know the guy that I don't want to like? Well, she actually laughed at me when I told her that I didn't like him!!!! (I told her just to make sure she didn't make a mistake like LAST time she didn't know that I DIDN'T like someone) I cannot believe she laughed at me!!! >< She totally thinks that I like him! Why?!?!?! Ugh!!!! My heart is set on THAT guy, not THIS guy Mandie!!! >< Anywho, I'm actually not seeing the Grudge 2 today because it's my cousin's homecoming (isn't that weird? How hers is on a Saturday?!?!?) But oh well. I have set building today for the high school play that I'm in. We're gonna be building Shoji (sp) screens! ^^ Cuz it's a play composed of 4 Japanese ghost stories. It's gonna be totally awesome! And I'm getting my hair cut and dyed today as well. Cut really short in the back so I can spike it :P and long, chunky bangs in the front. PLUS!!!! Dyed black! hehehe. I'm not really going for the emo look (even though I regularly feel emo -_-) but Japanese hair is typically black, so I'm dying it for the play. -takes a deep breath- (sorry, this post is kinda long...) I've been feeling very strang lately...like I actually WANT to be depressed...but I don't really feel like that at the moment...I WANT to hate myself, but I find myself not really thinking about it...like I'm numb or something...I've never felt like this before...maybe cuz I have to learn to let go?...but me don't want to! -_-~ I want to....to, I don't know...ugh! I'm so confused right now, it's insane! *Midnight Malice*

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