Sunday, August 1, 2004

   Conspiracies...

I keep coming up with conspiracies against all laws of physics, against the people who have done things for me, and against the people whom I despise. Against everything basically, it's driving me nuts...so many unanswered questions running through my mind. I wish that they would leave me alone! Ugh, I'm not even sure what I'm talking about... Whatever. I must be going insane... Talk to you later.

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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

   Insomnia

Last night I was up till 3 AM, laying in bed praying to fall asleep...I was just laying there, thinking about falling asleep, until I finally realized that thinking about anything doesn't help at all. Thought that reading would help, so I read for about an hour till I couldn't keep my eyes open, then layed down and still didn't fall asleep...I don't even know what time I fell asleep, but I remember waking up again at 5 AM then falling asleep and waking up at 10. I hate insomnia...how am I ever supposed to wake up in time for school like this??

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Monday, July 26, 2004

Depressed...

I feel so depressed today... I just woke up, feeling horrible, but it's not like I feel sick or anything, I just feel like I hate life more than usual. A friend of mine suggested that it was a dream I had, but I haven't dreamt anything for months... I told him I just don't feel like myself, but that's not exactly it...I just don't know how to explain it. It's like a weight's been dropped onto my heart, and I can't get it off... but I didn't do anything, I haven't seen anyone for days besides my family. Depressed for no reason...Isn't that nice...

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Friday, July 23, 2004

   Ugh...

Why is EVERYONE 15??!! I know this may seem a strange question, but still!! Everyone I like (well...not like, more like...don't hate) is 15!! it's weird..it's like, everyone is fated to be 2 steps and 2 years ahead of me... Ugh!! I'm sorry, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but it just bugs the hell outta me! No offense to anyone who is 15, it just annoys me that everyone is fated to be ahead of me in everything...

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Thursday, July 22, 2004

Realization

Life is wierd sometimes. In real life, I try my best to keep away from people, to keep them from understanding things they normally don't. But here I am, typing the exact things I don't want people to know... Maybe that's another Wonder of The World. Or maybe I'm just wierd...who knows? Anyway, does anyone here play Everquest or Diablo II?

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004

   It Is Official!!!

I no longer must fight with anyone for Hiei (except maybe myself...) SEE?!! Mine!!! Hehehe, everyone seemed to be doing them, so I thought, why not. Nothing much to do today, besides go on an Anime forum and wait till the Anime Club... My brother's stupid friend is over today :( He keeps calling me Kristen...which is my sister's name, by the way, and he calls her Katie...It's so annoying!! He calls my sister's friend Merman, which is funny but it still annoys me. (her name is Ariel, hence Mermaid...Merman) *sigh* Another thing to hate about my life... Or rather, my brother. Anyway, see you guys later. Certificate of Marriage This is to certify that Amaya Jaganshi and Hiei Jaganshi Were united in Marriage on the 22nd day of July 2004 MYFC Comments (2) | Permalink Tuesday, July 20, 2004    Idiots... Jeez...my brother was watching Happy Tree Friends today while my sister and her friend were around... they were watching it over his should and kept saying "Eww, that's gross! Why do you watch this stuff?" but it never crossed their minds that it was none of their business and they really didn't have to watch it. I told them this but they said they didn't want to. Guess they enjoy torturing themselves, or putting down others? Or both, hmm... Comments (0) | Permalink Friday, July 16, 2004    Random Rambling... Well, I made a new layout for the site... Hope you like it ^^ And I managed to skip the Anime Club once again this week... How do I do it =/ I don't mean to skip it... I really want to go, but somehow something ALWAYS happens to come up at the last minute... My excuse this week is Clothes shopping... IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!! Anyways, I still have random people bothering me that I don't even know, for no particular reason... They all of a sudden just say hi... Then bye... It's scaring me more than usual, for some reason. Here's another poem I wrote yesterday. (No Title As Of Yet) Tears inch down my face, Ever so slowly, One by one. Each taking a little bit of my sorry with them. If only tears could take away other emotions also... So I don't have to keep everything bottled up inside. But even bottles burst sometime. When my emotions reach the brim of the cup, Everything comes spilling out. I'd rather not let anyone see the contents. So I sit in a corner, And pour everything out. In writing, In drawing, Even in poltergeists. Sometimes, I just wish... That everything were...easier. That someone knew the contents of this bottle, Before knowing the bottle itself. I don't particularly like the wording of this poem, but I like the feeling of it. Actually, I hate the wording of it. But that's just me. BTW, anyone know why it won't let me delete one of my quiz results? I posted it twice by accident, and it won't let me delete one... Comments (0) | Permalink Thursday, July 15, 2004    Boredom Boredom...complete boredom...not much to do, haven't done much all day... School starts in a few weeks, on the 7th... Great, another lonely year stuck in a school I hate with even more people I despise. Just went clothes shopping today, can't wait till Open House (sarcasm)... *sigh* I hate Florida... Comments (3) | Permalink Wednesday, July 14, 2004 Family I know everyone's family is basically the same, but I despise mine sometimes... Okay, most of the time...If not all the time... Anyway, they are the reason I'm going nuts, probably one of the reasons my life is like this. Anyway, this is a poem I wrote the other day. Tell me what you think of it, I myself think it's pretty good. Alone I look down, not wanting to look up, hoping to see something other than the cruel fate of life, only to find my image in the cold, dark water. I look up at the stars, hoping to die and go somewhere else other than here, and see the sky falling in on me, only to find it was raining. I look back, towards the past, only to find myself remembering every waking moment I spent with you, every second I dreamt of you, mourned over you… ...Until I am forced to look onward, towards the future, the bleak, bleak future that surely awaits me, alone. I soon find myself taking my first step, then another, and another, struggling against this unknown force, wanting to stop moving, but unable to. It was like tugging at the strands of time, only to find yourself being carried along as well. Is this what life truly is? It has been years since that moment, since I dared to look back, when I fought the inevitable. I have gotten over you, over those brief moments of rebellion. Something I have learned, over those wasted years wallowing in my sorrow, dreaming of having someone to talk to, to share my feelings with, once again. You are never alone. Comments (0) | Permalink Pages (31): [ First ][ Previous ] 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 [ Next ] [ Last ]