Saturday, June 3, 2006

comfort in pain

you made the bloody rain fall when you pushed me against the wall the clouds have blinded your sight and now i'll never be alright sometimes i wish there wasnt a past where the bloody memories, open wounds and me pretending it doesnt hurt has killed me so my heart will never last im so insecure from whats been i tighten my grip on reality but that just makes me scream there are so many things you havent seen I don't want to be the one who always cries so ill cut my throat to get away from these lies but theres too much blood so ill just run my heart has consumed all the feelings left in me leaving me completely numb but there was comfort in the pain was the love i gave all in vain My soul is crawling in the wind these wounds will never mend am i confusing the scars of the past with the pain of reality that cast me away Is it easier to die cause i cant resist the urge to cry from what you've done to me i will never be free dont you see you were the reason i fell i trusted you to well but i've gone to far to wish upon a star you made the bloody rain fall when you pushed me against the wall the clouds have blinded your sight and now i'll never be alright but dont worry i'll put up a fight... (k theres the poem i hope you all like it!)

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i love this song and ill post a poem later this afternoon or tomm (sorry i havent been on i've been staying with a friend)

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Sunday, May 28, 2006

Memories (in memory of tiger, born:December 24, 2000 death: May 27, 2006 heart attack)

I called you so many times but you never came to me I know life is filled with riddles and rhymes but why'd the answer to this on have to be death? I caressed your lifeless head tears flooding the earth around us I cut my wrists and bled for you remembering the past Everytime I cried you were by my side you made me laugh and smile at your foolishness though you were only here for awile You were there when my whole world fell apart and helped it start again you were there when i was afraid of the dark and when I had a broken heart You always followed me so I never was alone you always listened and seemed to understand my secrets that i told you I have these memories locked within my soul and they will never fade I hope you know how much I loved you Cause the day you died I lost part of my heart it was burried deep within the earth by you side for eternity (a poem i wrote in memory of my cat)

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Saturday, May 27, 2006

this isnt fair T_T

OMG my cat died T-T im gonna go cry now this so isnt fair why did he have to die T_T ill be back later i need to go see my friend

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Your hearts desire

Fires burning all around If I’m lucky you’ll burn my heart first Maybe this ocean of tears will calm your rage It all depends on your hearts desires You tell me I’m delusional So what if I am? Maybe I like being this way So burn me if you wish and I pray The fire will fade away But that wont help much to get away from the currents of your wrath In the end I will lay in fear with only a single tear You may have knocked me down But I’m going to stay on the ground Cause it’s the only place I seem to belong Out of the reach of your love song I’m trapped in this raging fire of love Locked in the permanent embrace of a burning soul Wishing only for my heart to burn But it isn’t my turn Yet I still lie in hopelessness burning from your rage Tears spill out on this massive fire If my death is your hearts desire Then your wish has just come true (its a poem kinda how i feel right now sorry if its not good i just wrote it but anyways i missed you guys ^^ *hugs!!!* ill try and get to all of your sites before i get kicked outside again)

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Chapter 5 of An angels daughter

Sogen touched my cheek gently and kissed me. I felt dizzy and passed out in his strong arms as he held me tight. I felt a stinging pain on my left wing where Sogen had accidentally hit me. The sensation grew as I woke up with Sogen next to me. His hands were glowing and he had them placed against my wing. He smiled at me as my eyes fell shut and I drifted into a deep sleep again. "Crimson wake up don't you want to play with me?" a voice said giggling happily. I moaned and opened my eyes to yell at whomever disturbed my sleep. "Sogen?" I asked seeing he was no longer by my side. He rushed over to my side and whispered, "I'm here Crimson, are you feeling better now?" his eyes looked worried as I stared into them and I said, "a girl was calling me." He lifted me off the ground embracing me in a warm hug. I saw we were in front of the most beautiful lake I'd ever seen. What was even more amazing was the view and the setting sun. "Wanna go swimming?" Sogen asked eagerly smiling. "How could I resist," I said smiling back. "You have beautiful eyes," he said leaning down to kiss me. "So do you," I whispered and before our lips met I pushed him into the water just as the sun disappeared and we were left in darkness. "Oh, no you didn’t!" he said laughing. "Oh, yes I did and there’s nothing you can do about it!" I yelled smiling. "Wanna bet?" he asked and pulled me into the cool water holding me under. I rose to the surface gasping for air and laughing. We laughed and splashed each other until we were tired, enjoying the crisp night air. As warm rain danced upon our bodies we fell asleep under the stars. (k this is the last one im posting on here for awile ill just post them once a week but if you wanna read them faster ill have them on quizilla) *hugs* take care you guys!!! *kitty*

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Chapter 4 of An angels daughter

"Hello," I replied back with a star like glow in my eyes saying, "I'm.." "Crimson,I know, I'm Salshin, the God of rage. May i speak to you alone?" he asked. I turned to where Sogen was and then back again and Salshin was gone. I looked back at Sogen who was now gone and then ran into a big black coat, I fell back and saw Salshin laughing at me. "Well, well I see your quiet,come on," he said. He and I walked into a small dark tunnel and he began, "Crimson it's great to have you back, I've missed you and so have your parents." Out of no where he grabbed my hips and pulled me near. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing... He kissed me and at that moment Sogen had flown up to us. Slowly I withdrew from his body backing away and Sogen flew off with tears and anger in his eyes. I frowned and jabbed my heel as hard as i could in Salshin's leg as I ran he yelled, "Crimson come back!" I just kept running until i reached a small corner falling to my knees crying... All of the sudden I heard yelling I ran toward the yelling only to see Sogen throwing fire balls at Salshin's feet. "What did you think? That she'd fall in love with you?" Sogen yelled. "It's working isnt it?" Salshin asked. I could see the jealousy in his eyes as he took one of his hands and a big blaze of fire and about to throw it. I yelled,"Sogen!" He turned and threw it at me and it hit my left wing. I fell to the ground and yelled, "Why?..why?" I turned to run but Sogen pulled my arm back and said, "I'm sorry, ok? I was upset...you kissed him and you my fiance. I can't help it but... I love you, I wouldn't hurt you even if life would end." I looked to see tears in his eyes and said, "ha, right i don't even know you ok. How can we be engaged?" He smiled and said, "The angels in heaven go by matching people up... but i was stuck with a woman named Alshi, she didn't love me so she killed herself... and they gave me the choice you or your sister, and as I watched you at school I knew you more and more." I laughed a little, "how did you watch me?" i asked. He smiled and said, "by living in your good friend Katly of course and besides you looked good in gym." "Wait you watched me in gym??" I yelled. "Well..." i said looking up, "What else have you seen?" "Nothing, nothing." he said smiling and walked farther away and said, "Oh yeah I love how you swim to." I smiled shyly and then realized " WHAT!?" I yelled, "how did you know that?" "I told you I know norhing," he said laughing at me. I stood and closed my eyes saying, "well you did hit me." I pushed up my lips and made my eyes real big trying to look sad, but he turned away and said, "you did kiss him." I walked infront of him to tease him and said, "well I did, and maybe I liked it, hm it was kinda..." He interupted me and said,"hm well then I guess I don't need to care then." I smiled and said, "yeah i'm sure," I looked away. With an unsure look on his face he turned me around and said, "nah, I care its just... how could you kiss him?" I closed my eyes and said, "I'm sorry I don't even know who he is... and I cant say I recognize anyone."

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Chapter 3 of An angels daughter

He let go of me so i was flying by myself. I screamed and started falling to the ground but Sogen caught me and said, "What are you afraid of?" Cirus said, "dont tease her, Sogen, she's doing better than I did." She grinned at me and said,"bye sis i'll see you later and i'll make brother visit you soon." They all hugged me and left me there with Sogen. "All right let's start you flying lessons," he said smiling at me. "B..but I don't wanna fly, I'm afraid of heights.." I cried. "How are you going to save anyone if you can't fly? hmm?" he said teasingly. Then I noticed we were flying again... "Relax," he whispered in my ear. I felt my cheeks burning and water dripped down my cheeks slowly falling to the ground. I'm such a wuss I thought, why am I still crying anyway? Sogen started laughing at me his face turning red. " Whats so funny?" i said frowning. "You, I thought you would have figured it out by now," he said laughing harder than he had been. "Figured what out?" i almost yelled still frowning annoyed that he wouldn't tell me. "That you have magic powers," he said still laughing a little. "Oh, I do? I said rolling my eyes. "Yeah strange I would have thought you would have burnt someone by now with that temper of yours," he said grinning. "Hm, not yet maybe you should be my first," I said glaring at him. "Well at least your not afraid of heights anymore," he said laughing. "Your really annoying you know that?" i said sighing to myself. "Hey, would you two love birds down here for a minute theres someone here to see Crimson," Dueson yelled. "Alright pretty boy we'll be down in two minutes," Sogen yelled back. "Hey, Crimson wanna do something awesome?" he asked smiling. "Like?" I asked him looking curiously at him. "Oh, let's just say some crazy flying, some somersaults, fly as fast as we can toward the ground, and then land gracefully infront of Dueson while he freaks out," he said smirking. "Sure, why not and while were at it why dont we play with a ball of fire to," I said sacastically and rolled my eyes. "Hm, thats not a bad idea, close your eyes and make one," he said smiling. "Uh, who do you think i am pyro?" I asked looking at him like he was an idiot. "Exactly, now close your eyes and think of something that makes you mad," he said looking serious. "Why don't i just think about you?" I said sarcastically and then closed my eyes. I felt a tingling and burning feeling in my hands. I opened my eyes to see a small glowing ball of fire in my hands. "Wow.." I said. He laughed and said,"Lets go pyro girl!" I spun rapidly toward the ground my wing tips barely missing the balls of fire Sogen through at me. I closed my eyes focusing on making a larger one and then threw it at him. "He smiled and yelled two points for me," throwing it back at me. I put it out using water which i learned how to control to. "You don't make any sense!" i yelled and he smiled. My head was about to hit the ground when I did a flip and landed gracefully infront of a tell dark figure and he said,"Hello." (sorry was really hyper when i wrote this lol)

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Saturday, May 20, 2006

Chapter 2 of An angels daughter

I sat there with questions in my eyes, i turned to the mirror and i noticed tears were streaming down my face and my beautiful wings hugged my body. As tight as i could I held my arms and thought to myself how am I an angel, a goddes? who would love me? I opened my eyes to see myself and for the first time I saw myself more beautiful than ever. I touched my face and I could feel chills running down my back. Closing my hands i could hear talking, I looked down to see a crystal clear water ball like thing in my hands that sound was coming from. I noticed the talking came nearer. i reclosed my eyes and all of the sudden i felt a breeze of air and water pounding me on the inside. Then i heard a girl yelling "Crimsons back, mum, pap, Crimsons back!" Opening my eyes again I saw three people running out of a tall silver gate and behind those gates lie my home in which I did not belong. Then I noticed Sogen walking by himself and quickly I tried to get to him but the three people blocked my path. The girl hugged me and said "Crimson its been a long time since we've seen you." I blinked really fast and asked "Who are you? and how does this place exist?" She looked at me with great joy replying and ignoring my question, "Many years ago a demon named Solgema took you away and I had to work in your place but I fell behind and thats when I relized that I couldnt do it only you can...by the way i'm Cirus your younger twin sister, this is mum and pap, and Jaramia is our elder brother he is the son of rain. Tears streamed down my face or water I wasnt sure which, but i knew i was happy now that i had found my family. I looked at them as Sogen walked up behind me and whispered in my ear, " I see you've met your family?" "yes and im glad but i have to get home to Lola, she doesnt know I'm here," i said. "She knows your here we told here you were sick and she wasnt allowed to see you for now," my father said with my mom saying, "We want you home Crimson we cant lose you again." I looked up and let the now pouring rain wet my face trying to stand still. My long black hair covered my face as I tried to look down, but what I saw was the strangest thing ever. I was flying in the sky far above the silver gate looking down at the Earth. I was afraid to fall but Sogen held me tight and for once in my life I felt safe. (if you guys like it ill put chapter 3 up tomm lol)

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

An Angel's Daughter (chapter 1)

Before time began there was a goddess named Lupala Duraye and a god named Dunwall Lauge they created the angels who became their children. On the last night of their lives they brought their eldest son, Gunpala Ceres, and told him he would be the leader of the angels and that his daughter would be a goddess that would hold the key to peace among angels, demons, and humans alike. A few years later Gunpala married Branwen and they had a daughter whom they named Crimson Ceres. When she was just a few weeks old a demon that knew of her power captured her and took her to the mortal world. Though Crimson was young her crying drove the demon mad and he fled back to the underworld leaving Crimson alone in the rain. Lola was a 30 year old woman who saw this baby left in the rain on the way home from work which only a crimson colored feather around her neck with the words Crimson. Lola took her home and has raised her ever since she now goes by the name Crimson Song and her mortal mother and father are Lola Song and Futan Song. She became the lost daughter...(17 years later) No one knows how I feel, no one cares how I feel, everyone denies me and pretends to not know me around their friends... Sometimes I feel like I don't belong to this world let alone this universe. Actually forget that I know I don't belong to this race called humans. How could I belong here? Sometimes I hear people when I dreaming, people who I can't see but I know they're there and I can feel that their souls are tainted. Yet for some reason I pity them. I don't see them but I know they are watching me with those hopeless eyes calling out to be purified. In a dream I usually have there's this beautiful guy with crystal blue eyes and coal black hair I’ll never forget his eyes. His wings rose and fell as he spoke to me I couldn’t understand the language he was speaking but somehow I could feel it and understood perfectly. He said in a voice I don't know how to describe, "I am Sogen, I will revive you Crimson Ceres." Then I usually woke up screaming but this time I was floating in the air I gasped and fell to the floor. This was crazy!!! What is wrong with me? I don't think this is just a dream anymore I think its some kind of a sign. I wish I understood it though cause it was starting to get worse like the night before I woke up in a different room!!! Ok I thought that's enough of this for today I need to get to school. I walked to school and met my so-called friends outside where they were arguing over who the cutest guy in school was again. I saw a guy against the pole who I’d never seen before he had silver colored hair and piercing yellow eyes. She glared at me and I heard someone speaking in my head... "Crimson Ceres, I am Dueson Don I shall destroy you!" I couldn’t believe my eyes he now had ruff black wings sticking out of his shoulders and disappeared before I could speak. I walked to class alone and sat in a desk as far away from everyone as I could I was tired of them commenting on how it was weird that I had dark pink eyes and black hair that was down to my waist. During class I heard people crying again... I wish sometimes that I could just mute them out but I cant. Maybe there's something wrong with me am I forgetting something I mean all I know is Lola found me in the rain. "Crimson can you hear me?" What whose there why are you talking to me? "Crimson wake up class is over," my teacher Mr.Tenata said. "Oh shit," I said and ran out of the school building I was going to be late for work again!!! When I was walking through the park home from work that night there was that silvered haired guy again. He stood in front of me so I couldn’t get past him. "Would you move please I don't have time for this," I said. "What's the hurry?" he said grinning. Sigh.. These people are annoying I thought. "Too bad I’m not human," he said chuckling. "Um, did you just read my mind?" I said. "Come with me,"He said pulling my wrist. I kicked him in the stomach and ran as fast as I could to get home, but in my mind I was thinking oh god I hope I didn’t hurt him to bad. Then I ran straight into someone and fell to the ground. "Oww," I cried. "I'm so sorry," I said looking up to see whom I’d run into and it was the silver haired guy. "Oh, not you again would you please go harass someone else," I said. "No,” he said and grabbed me he pulled me close to him and everything went black. I had that dream again but yet It didn’t feel as if I was sleeping. What was going on my head ached and I was cold. I woke up floating in the air with crimson colored wings in a light blue colored room that I’d never seen before and I screamed. The guy from my dream ran in the room as I fell to the floor. "Oh I see you’re afraid of flying?" he said smiling. This is a dream this is a dream I repeated over and over in my head. "No I’m afraid its not," he said. "Who are you?" I said standing up. "I am Sogen Raine," he said in that amazing voice. "Where am I?" I asked looking around. "Your in my house on the star Fefta but don't worry its not far from earth," he said calmly. "Why am I here?" you said wondering what you did now. "You are the chosen one Crimson Ceres you hold the key and I will train you," he said. "Then what am i?" you don't know why you asked him but you just had to know. "You Crimson are a Goddess a high angel that was lost and I am your fiancé," he said calmly. Just then the silver hair boy walked in and said, "hey Sogen is she awake yet?" I hid behind Sogen that kid was crazy I thought. "I'm not crazy," he said glaring at me. "Then why were you following me and saying you were going to destroy me?" I yelled annoyed at him. "Oh that I was just testing you don't make it a big deal," he laughed mockingly. "Ignore him," Sogen said. "Are you both angels to?" I asked. "I am but Dueson is a fallen angel meaning he’s a demon but he’s a good demon when he wants to be," he said laughing. Then he got a more serious tone and said, "it's time." and with that they were both gone and I was left in the room alone. (this is a story me and my friend are writing if you have any ideas let me know and comment plz ty ^^)

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