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Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Thinks
He thinks he understands what i'm going through... he doesn't understand! no one does. I can't get ahold of him... have i even been trying... do I want to scare him away? do I want to feel hate... what the hell have i been doing... im so lost... so confused... why the hell can't i tell them? why the hell do i have to keep it a secert till the end? what will they say... how will they take it? cutting... whats the point? all it does is harm...he doesnt understand.... he wont talk to me... why cant i get a hold of him... he will freak wont he... he's much to old to care about me... much to busy... what the hell am i going to do... he will run away and never look back... he wont care about what pain i'm going though..... why cna't he see that i lvoe him even if im with another??.... why cnt he see that i want ot be with him.... but he choise not to... so i'm wiht another...triyng ot mve on...why the hell cant i do it?.... hwy must i look into the past... look into his eyes and just fall inlove again... why the hell cnat i do anything... whats wrong with me... cutting shoud i? pain i'm going through is much to big... what the hell am i doing?... so lost... so confused.... He will run wont he
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Monday, May 7, 2007

For god sakes comment or msg me!
Lost and confused. wishing to be with him, but can't be with him. wanting to know what he thinks of what might be... wondering if he will run like the others did. wondering if he will hit like the other did... darkness all around.. not even 17 yet and this is happening again... so confused... so lost... wondering waht is going to happen... Lost and confused... wanting to die... wanting to live...Wanting to move out... dont know what to say anymore... so confused... want help but at the same time I dont. no one will listen to me... no one cares about me anymore.. .tired to call him last night.. no answer.. tired to tell him the news... will he ever answer me again... will he be mad at me? its not my fault that it happend?! so dont go blaming me! they will hate me when i tell them this. he will hate me... they will all not want to be in my life... i'll be alone again.. no place to live... no place for love. only hate... will he answer me when i know? will he care at all? will he freak out? what is he going to do... lost and confused... I want to know what he plans on doing... So confused... I want to be with someone else but I cant'.. cause i'm so lost.. so confused... want my necklace back... why the hell cant i stand up for myself when i'm around him? why do I go back to the way i was before. all shy and depressed... i'm happy with the other. i smile all the time. what the hell am i doing to do?... wil l he answer me? should I leave a message? what's his room mate going to think?... he will leave and never come back into my life...or will he? waht am i supposed to do?
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Monday, April 30, 2007

A young girl of 17 sits there in the rain, as she remembers what she did in the past 6 months. holding her stomach, feeling something kicking against it. Remembering about how she lost the one she loved with all her heart. all because she got pregnant with another's child...Thinking about what she will do when the child is born..
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