Friday, April 27, 2007

No one understand what is going on in my mind, so why the hell can't you just leave me alone?
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Monday, April 23, 2007

You Look Into My Eyes, Wishing I'd Take You Back, But All You See Is The Pain You Caused Me. I Was Lost Without You, But So Far. I've been Finding My Way

I don't know what to do anymore, So many people asking what the hell i'm going to do. So many people ask what is wrong. I dont know what is wrong anymore. My mind is shutting off. It doesn't want to work anymore. It doesn't want to think anymore. I dont want to think anymore. Make the pain go away, Sharp pain. Make it go away. Make the thoughts go away.
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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Waht the fuck is the point anymore. everything is so fucked up in my life. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to live, but I have to. I dont want to be here. butI need to. everyone is to fucking worried about me, but i'm fine, GOD I'm fucking fine! SO stop asking me if im ok. I just want to get away, but I can't cause no one will fucking let me. no one fucking cares enough to realize that I need to get away from people without being asked where I am going. I just need time to myself but i never get that anymore, cause ur all jerks and fuck head. i want to be around people, but you dont understand what is going on in my mind. SO FUCK YOU ALL. you dont understand, and you think you do. but you dont, you never will.
Fuck you assholes
now fucking leave me alone
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Friday, April 20, 2007

might not have lost it
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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Lost da baby.
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
I HATE YOU
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TO ME
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT ANYMORE
I FUCKING GIVE UP.
ITS ALL UP TO YOU NOW IF YOU WANT THIS
TO WORKOUT
SO GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND DO SOMETHING
YOU ASSHOLE
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Friday, April 13, 2007

Can't be alone anymore...
Have to watch where I am going
Have to watch who is watching me
Scared for my life
Scared for Tasha
Can't be alone anymore
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Tuesday, April 3, 2007

GOD FOR FUCKING HELL!!! LIFE SUCKS SOO FUCKING MUCH RIGHT NOW! WHY THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME! I AM A STUPID FUCKING SLUT!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING... OH WELL I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT...

I'M SO SORRY KATELYN. I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU!!! PLEASE I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME...

I'M JUST A STUPID SLUT. A WHORE. I SHOULDN'T HAVE YOU SO I WON'T.. I CAN'T.. I AM SO SORRY....

I WISH I COULD EXPLAIN...BUT ALL I CAN SAY IS I'M PREGNANT... I'M SORRY!!!!
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Monday, April 2, 2007

it's funny how even if you want somethign to happen. when its happen you wish it never did... its funny how you wish you could love something but you can't cause your a fake...
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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Haven't been home really in the past few days. been home for maybe half an hour in total. Been all over the place. All I know is that when i get home tonight... If I even get home tonight that I will pass out cause I haven't been sleeping much, and its takin affect on me now. So much has happened in the past few days. Hung out with Tyler on tuseday, then went to Adam's house at 1:30am, spent the night there, got up at 12pm, left to go home, got there at 1:15pm. put my nephew back to sleep. checked what time the bus was coming, said fuck it. i'll run there. said bye to my mom. Ran all the way to the mall, just to go see a movie with Katelyn. We watched Dead Silence. Such a funny movie, cause we know what is going to happen...but omg they have the Saw doll in the movie! like all it is, was a background item, but it was soo cool. then the clown looks like chucky but with hair, and make up. lol anyways, then I ended up seeing Rachael, Yuki, James, Aaron, David. Katelyn and I hung out with them for a while. then I saw Jen, Sarah, Chantel, and some other people, said my hello's, then I said goodbye to them, also to Everyone but Katelyn. Ended up going back to her dad's place. (which is sooo close to my school :) )Anyways, met her brother's. Here names are Jared (23) and Daniel (21) and their cool. other then they kept looking at me. lol but it was awesome. anyways. I ended up spending the night. lol, cause her step mom told us to. so we did. and then we didn't go to bed till 2:30. woke up at 6am, went back to bed. woke up at 7:30. (both of us) and thats what time i wanted to wake up cause i had to go see tyler again. and she said we would wake up at 7:30am no matter what. we did... fell right back to sleep. then i woke up at 8am, and said at 8:15 i'll leave. and then at 8:18am, I was out of the house and on my way to Tyler's house. which was sooo damn cold. cause it was or still is snowing outside. and yeah. so I came here and now i'm waiting for tyler to wake up. dont know when, but meh. i'm cold now. and i dont know what else to say. Oh yeah I also stole her shirt.
I can't wait for my counseling. So many things to talk about, that hell no one knows about. But I have to wait longer to get into a program, but i dont know how long it will take and everything and i still plan on going to alberta... maybe not anymore cause if i have counseling i dont want to miss that...anyways i should shut up now before i keep talking. and yeah... I am sooo cold and hungry and getting sick... no one better be in my bed when i get home... and hopefully i will be able to fall asleep and everything. I have much to do though... lol oh well i'll shut up and i'll write again when i can. you know you can always pm me if you want :) Well have a good day or night! byebye
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