Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Go to this
http://www.vampirecrusades.com?p=page&x=2723

I need the money so please go there. its just for a game, all it does is give me money nothing happens to you. Anyways, read my other post and go there as many times as you can^^ thanks^^ well cya. miss ya CJ
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   GOT A NEW COMPUTER!!!!
I finally got the new computer^^ its soo fast and its way fucking better then the other one. I even got my cam up and everything. Well I shall talk to you all later. I need to get some sleep right now. I probably only slept 2 hours yesterday. and i need more sleep. I should be online around 3pm cause I think thats when CJ comes on. Anyways, I shall talk to you later. feel free to pm me or whatever. Have a good night. or day. Bye. OH Rugby Greg, good luck on your test today! I hope ya passed it! CYA I miss CJ already. :(
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Sunday, January 1, 2006

   Just did something really stupid.
I just did something really stupid. Volante dont be mad! please...I just wanted to say that...please dont be mad. I'm going to bed for a while. then for a walk. so if you need me call my place to my cell's number cause i will have that on me if it is important that is.. anywys, please volante dont be mad! I wasnt thinking! Damn now greg wll be mad too.. Dont be mad please. I wasnt thinking!!! Sorry....will probably be online around 3pm or so my time. Cya.
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   Happy New year people...
I had a crappy new years eve. All I did was watch movies alone. it was crappy. i hope yours was way better then mine. And I waited a long time for Her to come online to talk to me. But she didnt. Oh well. I shall talk to you later people. I will probably be online till 9am or so. if you are online then, you can talk to me. whatever. I'm going now. cya.
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Friday, December 30, 2005

   She left.
Today around 5:30am, she left. She came to see me around 4:30 or so. To say goodbye. Yet she left me even more confused then before. Why you may ask...Cause she KISSED ME! Yes people you read that read. She kissed me! Me as in Fangs, Mika, Raechel. I was so shocked that she even kissed me! not on the cheek but on the lips! And fuck it was a full kiss. She didnt hold anything back! Fuck I was so shocked that she did that, that she almost left without me saying anything. I mean damn! she just had to go and kiss me! I mean it was good...very good but damn it just made me even more confused. Then she told me to wait for her to get used to being Bi. I said I would wait. But I cant wait forever. And then she kissed me again...And left. She left to her dad's. I know I will miss her. I hope I get to see her before school starts. I wonder if she is supposed to be with her mom or dad this year. Anyways, I am still shocked that she kised me even tho its around 7am. I better go. I shall talk to you later...why does she even like me?! Cya later...she kissed me..on lips...why? I'm sad she is gone...whatever talk later. Cya
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Thursday, December 29, 2005

   7:45am
That is what time it is right now. I've been awake since 2pm yesterday. Will I go to sleep? I have no idea. I really dont want to go to sleep, but whatever. Anyways, how have you guys been? Good I do hope? I've been alright, tired but yet not that tired to go to sleep. Yes I am weird. My life is messed up right. Why you may ask? Well it is because some girl likes me. But she wont tell it to my face. I just said most of it on my other site. the one lost thingy so if you know it then go read it. Lol. Anyways, I have finished a 2l of A&W root beer. It was good. Anyways Fuck I am about to pass out. Why am I tired when I am just writing this? Lol Anyways I should be online by 2pm my time. if not 3pm lol. I will probably fall asleep soon so yeah. Well I shall talk to you all later Cya. have a good night or day or whatever. Cya. it is now 8am. Have a good day! byebye. CYA! LOVE YA ALL WITHT THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!! Love ya till the end of men! bye cya
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

   Say what you mean and not say it as something else....
Artist: Project 86
Album: ...And The Rest Will Follow
Title: All Of Me

Been swallowing my debris
Without a trace of dignity
I'm living a fallacy and
Been holding tight to all I can't keep
One memory
One memory
This time's the last I'll second guess
Your legacy
Your legacy
This time's the last I will forget

So can't you take
All of me
All of me
All of me?
Once and for all
Can't you take me?

I recognize the causes
Now I'm cutting all my losses
Severing all the hindrance

Shedding the viral skin of infection
You'd never believe the wolf I became (this time)
In moments of weakness and disarray (this time)
But now they can try to beat it out of me (this time)
I'm welcome to the challenge of emergency

Out of the halls of ruin
The slow burn slow steady climb this time
'Bout to reverse the movement
And I'm quite sure you know just where I'm heading

This is some song that I liked, I just listen to it and I just had to put it on my site. Anyways, I hope you all had a good christmas. I did, I got alot of stuff. Though, I am still waiting for my Father to give me something. But I really dont care what he gives me cause he is a jerk. My brother Luke told my Father that he wasnt aloud to smoke in the house at all. And my Father said "I can damn smoke where the fuck where I want" And then my brother just told him that he had to move out. Cause my brother is going to have a baby soon and he doesnt want the baby to be around smoke, and Fuck my father is a selfish bastard. Anyways, on to other stuff. I am going to get a new computer soon. Maybe by the end of the week. Not really sure. Then I can have my webcam and take pictures of myself for Nex. Anyways, Sorry I havent been posting much, my computer is being shitty and my mom just left so yeah. Been busy kinda. Anyways, its really late, and I must wake up sometime. Well I shall all talk to you later, maybe. Hope you are doing fine, Have a good day or night or whatever. Cya.

All by Stratovarius--awesome people.
Some songs that are from them, tho I cant find Land of Ice and Snow....which is an awesome song. Well that's all. I shall talk to you later. cya
I'M STILL ALIVE

Look around turn around
You just might fall to the ground
Sail away break away
Danage done nothing to say
All my life i've felt like an outcast
But not anymore, a thing of the past
Feel the sun, got to run
Feels like life has just begun
All is new, different view
so many things that i will do
I'm leaving behind the things i don't need
and with confidence i'm planting the seed

I'm still alive
I'm ready to feel the wind in my hair
And i know there are so many things to share
I will write my story again
Masterplan of a new kind
I was lost but now i'm found
I'm still alive

AWAKEN THE GIANT

I'm staring at the wall
Sick and tired of all
Manic depression makes me crawl
It makes me small
I need some peace of mind
The prssure makes me blind
The labyrinth of pain, the exit i munst find
It's all inside of me, the answers lie within
And all that i can win i take for myself
I'm the one who holds the key
To all that i can be
My spirit yearns for truth,
It's learning to be free

Through the years
I was doing things the wrong way
But now i've changed it is time to say

Awaken the giant
Don't let it sleep
Awaken the giant
Look deep within

I won't give up the fight
Until i see the light
I won't give in
To the gloominess of life
The end is in my sight
In the middle of darkest night
I see my future's bright
I'm reaching for new heights

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

   Listen to Dream Theater part 1
I love the cd's that Greg gave me this morning as a christmas gift. I havent been updating alot, cause I have been busy with some stuff. Also cause my mom is leaving on the 26th till some day, not sure when. Anyways, Greg is going to make supper for my family tomorrow at some time at night. I'm in computer's class right now, but I am not sure what I am supposed to do. Well anyways, I should be online around 5pm my time, but thats if I want to go online tonight. I may not, but then again I may just go out with Evil for a while. Or I may just go for a long long walk. I dont know. Anyways, I have to now get Greg a gift for his birthday. I'm going to get a new computer soon, probably after new year's, when my mommy is back. My brother Greg is out of town, and he is gone to California, then to Texas, then finally to Meixco with my father. So that means, no chrithmas with my father or oldest brother. Oh well, it always feels weird when my father is around my mom or around my brother Travis. I'm just rambling on and on cause I have no idea what to do. Lol. I am going to go skating soon and yeah. I hope I dont fall to much. Lol. Anyways. class is almost over. I'll talk to you people later. I'll maybe be online. Well talk to you sometime during the break. Merry Chrithmas And a Happy new Year. My computer is fucked up!...sorry. I really got go to go now...oh Evil...dont be sad...you did the right thing...well bye.^^ Have a nice Day or Night, Or whatever.
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Saturday, December 17, 2005

   Hate
I hate you, I hate you soo much. I was happy before, now I'm not. Why couldnt you have told me that before?! I hate you! why did you have to be such a jerk?! I hate you! I was all happy when I was with you. Now I'm not! I hate you! Why did you have to do that to me?!You knew I cared! You said you cared! That's all a big fat lie! I hate you! Your a jerk, ass hole, loser! I hate you! I cant believe you did that to me! Why did you even do that to me?! I thought you cared...but I guess I was wrong. All because of you, I will probably be sad for a while. I dont give a fuck if someone tells me to be happy! I just hate you soooo fucking much right now! Why the hell did you have to do that to me?! After I told you everything I went through(sp?)! You just had to fucking do that! You knew I got hurt in the past. You knew that I was scared alot! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?!!!! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUR GUTS! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!!!

p.s. dont ask me about who I hate...
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Thursday, December 15, 2005

   I'm sorry...
I said I was sorry, I said I didnt mean to do that...Why wont you just let it go? I'm trying to make you happy, and all I do is make you sad. Do you just want me to leave you alone? Do you just want me to go away? I said I was sorry. Please forgive me. I tried to make you happy, but all I did was make you sad. Should I just leave you alone? Should I just go away from you? I dont know what you want me to do. I said I was sorry. Please forgive me. Please dont be sad. Please just forgive me. I am sorry for what I did. I said sorry many time. I didnt mean what I did...I'm sorry, I just hope you can forgive me soon...
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