Tuesday, December 13, 2005

   Being sick sucks
I hate being sick. I mean, its ok at times cause you get to stay in bed and sleep. Well I cant. I have to go to work every day even if I am sick. I have to go back to school to see if there is anything that I need to do. And I should be sleeping now but I cant. My mom gave me something to help me get to sleep faster...it isnt working, and I took it over an hour ago. Today, my teacher person said I looked much better then I did the day before. But I dont feel any better, I feel worse, People say my skin colour isnt as pale. but then again that could just be the cover up shit that I used.I am maybe going to go to CJS tomorrow if I feel any good. Anyways, I better go now, I have to go to Greg's in the morning
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, December 12, 2005

   I may be getting a part-time job after winter break
I hope I do get the job, cause I need money, and it will be fun. I'll do all the house work for someone and get paid once a week, that would be awsome. I do hope she lets me do that^^. Well I am still sick...but I still went to school and other work. Well I probably wont be online much tonight. So phone me if you know my number. Anyways, talk later^^ byebye.
Comments (0) | Permalink

   sick
I am sick. I got sick in front of the bus stop at my old school. I should be home now but I am at school. Even tho I phoned my mom and told her to call school to say i wont be there but i am...I just want to get my work that I have to do done, then I wont have to come back to school till monday. anyways, I shall talk to you all later, if I am online, probably not if i am sick. anyways, I shall talk to you, got to go work. byebye
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, December 11, 2005

To say something, but to mean something else...
I dont know where that came from but I just thought of it, and put it there. So how are you people? Good I hope. Me, I am alright, tho I feel alittle faint. I have been feeling like this for a month or so. Oh well, I just hope it gets better on. Because I havent gotten alot of sleep. 4 hours if I am lucky. Anyways, I went to see Aeon Flux or whatever with Rachael it was a good movie. Anyways, I have to go now. I shall talk to you later maybe. Bye.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, December 9, 2005

I am sick..
Read my other site...not my rae-san...my other other site if you want...thats if you know it. and then you will understand whatever...i am tooo bloodly sick right now to just explain what i just said...whatever. bye...you know what..just forget i even post this post...i'll post later...when i am home...or whatever...bye
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, December 5, 2005

   I feared my father when i was little...and still do...
I hate my father. He knows that I cant really be around smoke cause of my asthma, yet whenever I am with him, he smokes in the car and everything. He doesnt know anything about me! And I have lived with him for 13 years of my life or so! Did you know that for most of my life I feared to be myself cause of my father. I bet anyone that in a year or 3 max, that I will probably not know my father. He doesnt even talk to his other fucking kids! When one of my half sister was going to get married, she sent him a thing and he never fucking even sent it back! I know people may say its wrong to hate your father or something like that, yet I do. He does everything that I shouldnt be near or anything. He lets me drink beer, He drives when he had a beer or 3 before. I just dont like him, to tell you the truth I fear my father, I have always feared my father. I feared him since I was a baby. He never liked noise so he would always yell to me and my brothers to shut up, He would always call us stupid, losers and stuff like that. I feared being myself because being myself would be loud and my father did not like loudness. So just to plain tell you, I feared my father and being myself...anyways thats all I wanted to say, I better go to bed and then go to work. I dont have to go to school cause the teacher's are having a meeting or something, I really dont know and dont care. All I know is that I am pretty much caught up with everything that I have to do. Well I better go. I shall talk to you later. Hope you have a nice day and night or whatever else. Byebye.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, December 4, 2005

   Hey people.
How are you? I am alright, though I am in a big bitchy mood right now cause I just got back from shopping with my brother Luke and his wife. I spent the night there with my brother Travis...I hate going there! Luke acts to fucking much like my Father(Ken). While we were shopping, Luke called my brother Greg,"A fucking lazy jerk". Luke said we werent to...damn whats the word...whatever...happy or whatever to get gifts and shit for people. Anyways, his wife kept saying stupid stuff. Fuck then when we were at the gas station, Luke fucking told us that we were"Lazy bastards." Then while we were in the car on the way home, Luke kept saying,"Damn you guys are soo depressing" and stuff like that. He also kept saying that while we were shopping! And He took all the fucking money! I only got one fucking thing! And that was only for Greg(friend)! And Then Luke told us that we should put all of our names into my brother Greg's gift. But yet, we are not going to. Luke and his wife can fucking get their own gift for him. I am not going to see my brother Luke or his wife, unless I have to. If I do then I'll try to be nice and not be bitchy. But I bet that they are going to fucking forget about us for like a year or so then start talking to us again and then its just going to go into a big ass circle. I'm probably not going to have anything with Ken anymore. He doesnt care about anything. Whatever Thats just what my life is like right now.

I went to see Corpse Bride. it was alright. But whatever I would have liked to see Saw 2 but I couldnt cause I wasnt 18 or whatever. Anyways, I found out why I am so quiet all the time or whatever. When I was younger, Ken would always get mad when anyone made to much noise, so I pretty much feared making noise for it would make Ken mad. Thats why. Anyways, I have to go now...I need to do something that wont make me more in a bitchy mood. Well byebye,
Comments (1) | Permalink

Saturday, December 3, 2005

   When...
When I saw you with her, my heart just seemed to get riped apart. When I saw you hug her, I just wanted to cry, When I saw you kiss her...I just wanted to die right there on the spot...You didnt even noticed that I was there. How could you have done that to me?! How could you have lied to me...You said you cared about me...you lied...When I saw you with her, my heart riped apart and got torn out...I promised myself that I would never cry..but I did, right where I was standing I started to cry, Yet You still didnt notice that I was there...All your attention was on her...on that slut...I didnt matter, I wasnt alive to you...If I would have screamed. You would never look my way...

You hurt me, Torn out my heart...For that...I have learned never to love so easy again...For that I have never trusted a guy again...For All I can say to you now ...is that I hope she was good...Cause you know you will never get me back...

You went to her because I wouldnt do something. Cause I didnt want to. You went to her instead...You didnt care about how I felt...Guys are mean...Guys hurt you...Guys are just jerks...

You are a jerk, You broke my heart. You made me feel pain for the first time...You are a jerk...

Dont ask me what this is about, I just had to write this out..its about something or rather someone. but I shall not say who or anything. Right now I feel rather Crappy for all that he did.. Right now I can care less about anyone else's problem's...Right now I just want to be left alone and not to be bothered by anyone...You were/are a jerk, You will never change where I have, I have learned not to trust anyone. It has taken me a while to trust Greg, But Now that I have I know some guys are not jerks yet you are one.

To be with a guy who is a jerk is nothing. To be with a guy who cares about you is something, Yet I dont know if I will ever have a guy who cares about me. But Oh well, Thats just how life is...Well bye..
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, December 2, 2005

All I seem to be is a bother(sp?)
I seem to make people mad, sad and bother them, so why am I even here? If I just bother people. why should I still be here...All I do is bother people...I try to help...do something for someone...They dont like it, they say it bother's them...why do i even try anymore?....volante-audrey! why do I even try anymore?! Please tell me why volante-audrey! I am going to just not bother anyone...g2g....bye...
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Work...
At work today I cleaned over 70 shelves in 2 hours. My back and neck hurt from that now. I dont really got anything to say, Other then that my eye is fucking killing me! I did something to it and now it hurts! I just dont know what I did. Anyways, I am almost done all my work that I have to do to get caught up with my classes or whatever. I am now listen to Iced Earth, their a good band and everything. I am going to try to wake up every day at 5am so I can go to Greg's place. Oh when I am at my school and I do my work, they let me have coffee^^ I had about 6 cups of French Vanille coffee today^^. And tomorrow, if I am done with all my Geo stuff and I read my science thing I can leave early if I dont want to start the science work. Cause The teacher person I work with, wont be there tomorrow and I need her to work with me on the science stuff, and She said that If I am done my Geo stuff, I can leave early. Well I better go, though I dont know what I am going to do but anyways, I shall talk to you people later. byebye...
Comments (0) | Permalink