Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Day 1+2
It says day 1 +2 because I missed day 1 cause i had to go to a concert thing--i had to sing and all--it was interestering.---the thing i was standing on moved--it scared to hell outta me, yuki, and rachael.--anyways, it was awsome and i sang(sp?) all the songs.^^

Anyways, moving on right now...so yeah my plan...is to leave in 14 days...to go see someone or just to leave...only one person knows about this plan...and no i will not tell you what the plan is till i leave...i will only write about what i need to get and stuff like that...on...the 18th i shall be gone...not the 14th. i'm counting how many days till i leave not the day or whatever...well anyways...I cant stay long...I must get some rest and plan some more...well i got the money...kinda...i need some more...i need the food...i need a jacket...i need meds...just in cause...i may need other stuff...i shall find out later on...oh also...i need to write some letters to some people...hmm..well what else can i say that i need or whatever...

well...hmmm...i hope no one will ever be mad at me for what i am trying to do...it may be bad yet...i'm pretty sure it will help me...no matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone does....i will leave in 14 days...i have no reason to be here right now...my friends arnt realy friends...i never do anything with them when they can..they dont care. i dont care. i'm leaving in 14 days. i should be happy about that...cause i finally get to see him...hmmm...thinking about him is making me happy...lol. not that kind..shut up!lol i wuv him, he is awsome...and no i shall not tell anyone who he is...and no i am not cheating on anyone for anyone...or whatever. i just wuv him....he means a lot to me...say what you want to say. do what you want to do...i shall never say his name...i shall not tell anyone where i am going till the last day...the last minute...

Well...I better go...I feel like i am about to die...my legs hurt. i passed out/spaced out while walking and fell to my knees cutting them up a little...oh...only one person who will understand this...he wishes to see me...thueseday and firday night...and also monday...but i have yet to know the time...well i better go right now...I'm about to pass out...well byebye....hope you all have a nice life...
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Monday, October 3, 2005

   day to plan my plan...
Today is the day that i plan my plan...i wont say alot about my plan but on day 14 or so. my plan shall take place. my plan is that i shall leave, leave for a while then come back...maybe...would any one care if i just get up and leave? I mean other then Yuki, and maybe Greg...I highly doubt that anyone else would care. so yeah. my plan is to leave to go to some place out of Manitoba...i hope that i can get out of manitoba...and go in the right way. lol...most of my posts shall be about the days as i get ready...day 14...you will know that is the last day you shall see me for a while...or forever...i bet ya'll think i am doing something bad, yet i dont think so. i think i am just getting away from whats wrong for a while...please do not hate me for planing this out. i just really want to do this...if you really dont want me to. then lock me away...i dont care. i will some day do this if i cant on day 14...well i gottta go now...bye...i need to plan out my plan more...bye...
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Saturday, October 1, 2005

I shall...
I shall always be alone in this world...I shall die alone in this world...That is whats going to happen to me. I shall die and live alone. I shall never have someone with me...

I went to the mall today with kayla and ppl. I had to put on fake smile just so she wouldnt worry, not like anyone would. They may say they care but really they dont. the only person who cares about me cant be here for me...

Well...I got to go...I have to get ready for later today...I wonder if I could go out and not come home tonight so then I wont have to do that thing...probably not cause no one is gonna go out with me. they all have a life...well whatever...bye ppl...oh...i should be back online by 1pm or so. i gotta go sleep right now. but if you need me before that time or whatever...just phone me if ya got my number...to hang out or whatever...bye..
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Thursday, September 29, 2005

   im in black and i cant feel my middle finger!
I cant feel my middle finger! on mmy right hand, i hurt it in during gym, lol. well anyways i`m all dressed in black. lol, interesting. i`m bored i got nothing else to do. lol class is almost over. i got nothing to do. i dont want to go to math, oh! i know i am going to get in trouble in french probably. lol well i gotta go. i`ll be home after school maybe. no school tomorrow! bye....hard to type with only one hand!
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Monday, September 26, 2005

   OMG! that was sooo fucking funny!
OMG! before school started it was so fucking, I cant believe I even started to say stuff about that! I'm such a mean person...but hell it was soo fucking funny! Then Racahel and I were still talking about it during gym! OMG! we coudlnt stop laughing and saying mean stuff! I really cant believe I even started to say stuff I'm not a mean person but hell I just had to say stuff!

Well anyways I'm getting my lip rings checked today and probably gonna change it to. I get to leave at 12pm to get it^^ I'm happy! not gonna have french today! yay! lol. Well I better go now. I gotta go to my other class before I leave^^ I feel soo bad about what I said now kinda...but it was so funny...well gotta go. love ya's.
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Friday, September 23, 2005

   I am who I am.
People always say that I should change who I am becuase of the most stupid reason's. Just because I like to drink, smoke and other stuff doesnt mean I always do it. So what if I am illegal. This is who I want to be, I dont have to change if I dont want to. If I changed just because someone wants to me then I would start to feel even more miserable then I am now. I can be who ever I want to be. Even if I am in pain inside, I dont want to change who I am. People always bitch about the Pain, yet, they have no idea how much pain I am in right now. I may act happy and stuff on the outside. However, on the inside I am in pain, yet no one knows. Only a few people know that I am in pain. I dont know what to say. Though I am worried about Evil...She hasn't talked to me in a few days. I wonder how she and the twins are doing, she told me that she is gonna have a boy and a girl^^. She wants me to be the godmother of them^^. I really cant wait for them to be born^^. I shall help her in anyway^^. Well I really got nothing else to say right now. I shall go now and be bored and write more poems about death, pain and stuff. I am an illegal person, Dont like me. Then dont talk to me. I can live without you. Well Good-bye hope you have a nice day or night or whatever. Good-bye. Shall post tomorrow maybe...Bye.
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

   WUKI!!!!---COULDS! WUKI!! Chocked!!
Wuki and I was walking from school to the mall, I of course was wearing my hooker boots. When Wuki said she needed to go peee. I told wuki to go pee in the clouds. And we talked abou that for a while. and I called her wuki not yuki, so I shall always call her wuki now^^ lol. we walked all over the mall and got stuff!^^ I got handcuffs! And we go back to her place and its not smart to walk in hooker boots so much^^ well now i is back home and i got back at 6pm my time^^ lol. i got in trouble causse i no go to french class yesterday but who cares^^.

Hmm, in gym class I almost broke my nose again, almost twisted my ankle twice, almost broke my middle finger the ring one and the pinkie on my left hand. almost got choked, well i did cause i no breath for 5 min. oh well^^ at least i had a hot chick on me.^^ Football wasnt my game today^^ lol. oh well^^ being almost choked to almost being killed my megan or whatever is fun^^ lol^^ well i go now^^ byebye

WAIT!!! dont go! I just wanted to tell you i no be home tomorrow till ike 7pm or something like that cause i gotta stay after school and yesh^^ I go now, byebye.
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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

   in comp class now...
I'm in comp class right now...I have really nothing to say but that I wont get home till like 5pm my time or so. Cause I am going to go get my hooker boots and stuff. My chest hurts alot right now...I feel like I am gonna die. I hate that I always have to be far away from him...

I really have nothing else to say right now...i hope ya like my new bg, i shall change it back to dark later on. I really dont know what to write...I really dont even know why i am with him and shit...I'm going to go now...I got nothing to say anymore...wont be online till like 5pm or so my time...bye...
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Monday, September 19, 2005

   Sick...
I am sick right now. my head hurts my thoat is killing me and such. I dont think i willl be online at all today. Maybe if i feel better. i want my hooker boots! i should go and get them but i am to sick. oh tomorrow i am going goth. black everything. I wont be happy tomorrow i shall be cold and shit. i dont care about anything or anyone. people can all burn in hell for all i care. my heart is broken..so ther is no need tobe happy. whatever. if i am feeling better later i should be online at like 5pm my time that is. fuck why the hell did i have to get sick and then have my heart broken??...i so damn hate life right now. i just like lost my best friend who said he would always be there but he wasnt!..god i need to go. i dont feel good and shit...bye..
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Sunday, September 18, 2005

   sup? yesterday was my bros wedding.
hey ppl. yesterday was my brothers wedding^^ it was nice other then it was cold cause they had an outdoor wedding at birds hill park . I was a braidds maidd however i didnt have a flower thingy cause she forgot to order 3 not 2. oh well i didnt mind. i also walked fast cause i can not walk slow no matter what. lol whatever.^^ it was awsome. , i saw my cousin jamie there. we both planed on going to a rave later. you know what a rave is right ppl? if not just pm me and i'll tell ya. rave are soo awsome. i really wanna go to one with her. I got to keep a lower thingy tthat the braids are supposed to have cause the braids maid of honor didnt keep hers, so i got to.^^ I getta keep my new sister-in-law hooker boots! they are soo awsome! she is gonna let me keep thiem^^. OH! also i wont be here really later cause i am going to go swimming with my bro and sis-n-law and stuff^^^ I should be home by 4pm or later my time. well that depends on if i get to go. my dad is coming and shit. well i gotta go now. cyalater. love ya all. but one of you ..i dont. u know who u are.
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