Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Do you like my new site background. isn't it lovely? Anyways... i dont know what to say. my tummy hurts though. I started counseling. well kinda. had my first intake yesterday. it was fun. lol and now i have to wait alittle longer for my other counseling days. anyways. i love someone.. and i hate myself for it. but yeah.. me and katelyn are going to the movies tomorrow...not sure how when i have no money and i'm spending the night at a friends house... good thing I have a bus pass. anyways... yesterday i was stupid. almost hit a car while playing air plane with myself in the middle of the street as my friends yell at me. lol. or point to cars, saying. "your old, your ugly, your a lady, your a guy. your married." and if I liked the car. or if the guy was hot enough, I would then jump up and down. and scream "HI! TAKE ME HOME WITH YOU! I LIKE YOUR CAR!" and yeah.. then i went home, phoned my people. lol well now i am going to go hang with my friends....cya!
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Thursday, March 22, 2007

I'm sorry
i'm so sorry for what i did. I didn't mean to do that. I am sorry for how i treated you. I dont know what else to say. I dont know how to tell you though. I didn't use you. as some may tell you. I didn't want to hurt you. but in the end I think I will. I am sorry. I had to see how I felt. and I know how I feel now. I am sorry. I still harbour feelings for another and I dont think i should be with someone i dont truely love. I love you but not as much as I love the other. Anyways... I am sorry please forgive me



I dyed my hair. its a funky color now. I can't wait for someone to see it...well i am going to go now... i am sorry...byebye
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Sitting here.
Sitting here
Wondering what I should do
Looking around
Seeing everyone looking at me
Wondering why they are
Sitting here
Looking at him
Looking at her
Watching life go by
As I sit here wondering
What should I do?
Stay or leave?
Love or Hate?
Sitting here
Wondering what I should do
Looking for a way out
But also looking for a way in
Looking for a way to get loved
But Also looking for a way to get unloved
Sitting here
Wondering what to do
Sitting here in
The darkness as life goes by
What should I do?
Sitting here waiting to be told
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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

i got something to do. but i dont know if i can do it...
i'm so lost on what to do...
should i do that or should i do this?
would it be better if i left?
or would it be worse?
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Thursday, February 1, 2007

What happened January 31st. 2007
Alex, Lucas, Travis, Are my brother's. Tracy is next door neighbour.
well me and alex were in my room, he was on the phone, i was watching tv. we were talking to loud, and we woke up the baby, and lucas came in my room slaming the door, yelling that we woke him up, I said whatever. he went to get his son, then slamed the door again, saying thanks for waking him up, then i said whatever fuck get out. I went to shut my door to get him out of my room when he pushed me into my closet with his son in his arm, yelling at me to never fucking swear in front of his child. which he was doing, and he pushed me against a glass picture and it broke, cut my back alittle, then he left. i phoned my mom trying to tell her but i couldn't. so I yelled at lucas saying if he can break my things i can break this. broke his dvd player(which was already broking)and went into his room, just pushed the tv over and then Travis came in the room and pushed me down on the bed and held my wrists down for about 10 mintues, we fell to the floor and he wouldn't let do, kept yelling at me to calm down, and he finally let go when i told him if he didn't let go i'll have an asthma attack, then i went next door, and Tracy kept me there and she wanted to hit both of them, mostly lucas cause he came next door, complaing that i woke up the baby when he pushed me and everything, and then i went to the childrens hopsital, and yeah now i'm sore and everything, Back home too
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Monday, January 29, 2007

   What to say?
you said you were my friend
but you never call me when i need you
you never call me to hang out
you said you cared about me
but if you call its for him
who gives a fuck anymore
I dont care
your not my friend
you may seem like it but your not
you dont care about me
no one cares about me
I dont know waht to do anymore
Leave me alone
Stay with me
Hug me.
Hold me
Be there for me!

No one listens to me
No one is there for me
I don't know what to say anymore
Leave me alone
Go To hell!
Fuck you All!

I Want to Die!
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Sunday, January 14, 2007

u said u would care
u said u would listen
but are you?
no your not...
whats the point anymore

why am I even wanting to be with you?
All you do is cause me pain....
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

you baka.
why don't you answer me?
why do I want to see you
But I can't be with you?
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Sunday, January 7, 2007

I fucking sprained my ankle again, but I think one of my toes or something is broken..
I can't go to school for a while and shit
I want to go see him
but I can't..
this sucks
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Friday, January 5, 2007

i'm back home now. just thought I would tell people
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