Monday, August 8, 2005

   Still sick...
I am still sick! well I am a little better but what not. I am cold though!...WAIT..lol the AC is on! lol...well umm...I can talk better now^^ thats all good! well...umm...I really got nothing to write. OOOOHHH! I'm trying to get my lip done soon! before twiggy's so called party! lol^^ well...I gots to go. I am reading sooo many fanfictions...so bye!
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Sunday, August 7, 2005

Hate being sick!!!
I hate being sick!!! I am having trouble breathing and shit!!! I'm supposed to phone Adame but I'm not so sure if I can even talk. I mean I can but its hard to. And yeah...I feel like shit! I like gots a high fever or whatnot...Adam I dont think I can phone you today. I have to get better by tomorrow cause its my anuts suprise bday party and stuff. yeah so Adam....umm...please forgive me if I dont phone you. umm...I better go...I need to rest for a while...I got nothing to post anyways...welll..byebye...thoat hurts like hell!
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Saturday, August 6, 2005

   Depressed...Why?
No idea why I am depressed right now. I just am. I also think...I...I really need to talk to someone...I mean like...umm...never mind that. I still feel like shit. It's like 5am! And I haven't been to bed yet. Doubt that I will though. Well I hope I get to talk to Adam later today. I miss him already. Wait when dont I miss him...I need to get some things straighted out in my life...I really wish I could talk to someone who really understands what I am going thru. But I feel as if no one understands. Also that I never talk to anyone. I mean like no one knows that I need to talk. I'm like wearing a mask and they all think I'm happy and shit...well umm...I just wanted to post that kinda...and also...umm..have any of you ever had a time when you thought you didnt love someone the same way they loved you and stuff? well...umm..I have to go now...I doubt I will sleep but yeah...bye...
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Friday, August 5, 2005

   HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! hope its a good one hun^^ well its like 12am and I should sleep....umm...read my other post please adam! or whoever cares about me or whateer...just read it if you want to....umm...shit my thoat hurts!...umm..shit theres....ummm....got to go! bye
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Thursday, August 4, 2005

   I feel like shit right now!
I feel so much like shit right now! sorry for the swearing but yeah. I am very sick.*cough* I shouldnt even be on the computer but I thought I should just post cause I was supposed to *cough* phone adam long ago but I never got to use the phone cause we got many calls and also cause I feel like shit!*cough* I took soo many pills to make me better but its just worse! At aleast my cut doesnt hurt anymore.*cough* Well then again I cant even feel my leg anymore. Oh well...well umm...Kawaii loup sorry for not phoneing you!*cough* please forgive me! I just feel to sick to talk. Well Umm...oh yeah happy birthday adam! I know its early like a day but I wont see you tomorrow and yeah...sorry I cant say it to you.*cough* I feel like shit...I look like I'm dead too! Anyways...I better go. I'll post tomorrow thats if I feel any better. But I highly doubt I will. Well I love you all. *cough cough* shit that time there was...umm...never mind that! nothing is wrong with me! nothing happened there! *cough* shit! gotta go! bye!
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

   I
hey everyone! I sorry about the other post ;-; I didnt mean all that...I was just very pissed at Adam...well I hope you all forgive me. please...Well Ummm...I'm back from camping. I got a really bad burn on my face and uper body but thats already into a tan. Well I had to watch my stupid cousin for 3 hours cause her stupid fucking mom wanted to sleep. I wasnt supposed to babysit any fucking person while I was camping! God! I didnt even get to go horse back riding cause that I had to watch my fucking cousin! Even though she is only 6, she is more fucking annoying then other 6 year olds! GOD!...umm...sorry about that people...just had to get that out. Hope your not mad. Well umm...I have no idea what to write now. So much happened while I was camping...umm...I saw 3 deer! it was sooo cool! oh and we had like a family of ground hogs or something. It was sooo cool! I named so many! There was ..Mr D, Mr T, Mr W, Mr BW, and many more! MR T BITE TRAVIS TOE!!!!!!Twas soo funny! Well...now on to some other stuff^^ but what other stuff? lol I'm bored. lol I'm also hungry! lol^^ oh oh oh oh ho ho ho ho! LOL! I'm stupid! *glomps Adam* I misseed you! I love you all! I love adam!^^ Umm...OH!!! here is some poem that I wrote...

Title:N/A

If only life wasnt so hard
If only it didnt take away
The oly thing that I live for.
If only we didnt fight before
It started to rain. I knew once
It did, my life would be hard.
I only wish I got to tell you
How much you mean to me
Before you tried to come
Find me. When you did
I knew my life would never
Be the same and for that
I love you for who you are.
I love you for who you were to
Me. I just wanted to say I love you.


There...I hope you like that poem. I wrote it when we had a big storm...the night me and Adam like...yeah...well umm..yeah there was a big storm and I was sitting on a chair just sitting there...not thinking or anything, then hail started to fall so my mom made me go in to a tent thingy. For once in my life...the same didnt help. It only made me more depressed. You guys probably dont understand but yeah....umm...what now? this is a long post tis it not? Well I got one more thing....Sorry I write so much but I need to like I dont know..lol^^. I'm very weird no? why do people like me when I talk in like different voices? ummm...well here is some thing that I wrote...tis kinda long. I have no idea what it is. its suppose to be a poem but it turned like into a store or something. I dont know. I just hope you like it the same^-^ well here we go!

Title: N/A

I see the sky, its all blue, pink, ren, orange, purple, and many more. I'm sitting here looking out into the light, wishing someone was here to be with me. To see how pretty...how beautiful it looks. But there isn''t anyone. Everyone left me for someone else. You left me because you can't stand me anymore. No matter how hard i tired to make you stay with me, you left. i'm sitting here wishing someone was with me. i'm looking as the sun is setting more. it startes to get blurry as i keep looking at it. i cant see anything anymore. i'm crying for the first time since you left me, since everyone left me. I fell in love with you but you didnt love me. You Loved her! you only wanted to have a nive time with me. you only thought i was a fast way to get "laded". but you were wrong, for that you left me for her. now i'm sitting here all alone. i look away to the right. seeing my family. I look to the lefty seeing all my "friends". I look out to the light again. I see my true love. I stand up. Everyone is yelling at me. But I cant hear them. I look behind me...There you are.Only you...she isnt around you. Your yelling for me to come back. i seem to only hear you. Your telling me to come back to you. After everything you did. Your saying sorry! how can I believe you after yuo said that you'd be with me forever?! I cant believe you. Iturn so I'm facing you. I tell you I love you. That I always will even if you loved me the same way. Even if you could never even like me. I will love you till the day I die and forever. There is tears running down my cheeks. I yell to everyone I love them. I take a step back. I start to fall below to the ocean. You suddenly come jumping after me. I can see you, your so close but yet so far. I close my eyes waiting for the big head spalsh that would kill me. It seems as if I'm waiting forever. I open my eyes. Your holding onto my legs. I try to kick you to make you let go. You wont let go. There is one single tear sliding down your cheek. Your saying"One signle tear for someone very special." I start to cry again. You pull me up so I'm near your face. I give you a kiss with all my love and all my life and say/ " I will always love you. I will never stop." With that. I let go and fall to my death. I finally found peace when I died. Even if it meant leaving the people I love. Even if it meant leaving you. No matter how much I love you. I knew I could never find peace till I died in the ocean, even if I knew you would never know how much I love you.


So yeah...thats it. I hope you like it...I really have no idea what that is about or anything...well...umm..yeah I wrote to much now I am really hungry...soo I"m gonna get something to eat before I fall over! lol oh do you like my new background and my new avi??? well I'm about to faint! so I go now! I love yuo all! I love you soo much adam! oh btw...my leg hurts!!! I got a really bad cut on it right under the knee!Stupid skate! skate as in ice ones! Adam you were right you told me to move it! now I got a bad cut on my left leg cause of it! well I better go. Love you Adam^^ love you all^^
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Saturday, July 30, 2005

   I hate you all!!!!
I'm only back from camping till 830pm today. Leaving again till monday I think. My mom may want to stay out there for the whole week again. I think I may tell her that we should. Cause I dont want to stay in the city...cause I hate you alll!!! making me think of other bad stuff. Adam....sorry to say this but I really wish I never got to talk to you. I wish I never meet you. If I didnt...then I would be gone now. No one would care. YOu dont even give a fuck! so fuck you alll! I hate everyone of you!!!! I'm depressed soo much right now. but hell no one cares! I'm gonna stay away from the computer when i get back. not answer the phone either....even if its adam...i'll only answer it when its my cousins or whoever but if its adam or anyone like that then fuck them! I cant stand being here anymore. fuck you alll!!! i dont love anyone! no one has to come and see me, no one cares about me. no fucking way am i gonna stay here for much longer! I dont care if i'm making you sad worried or whatever. go fuck yourself and never think about me! i shall be alone when i die no one can die with me or for me.
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Saturday, July 23, 2005

   Sooo tired.....


I now know why I sleep so much during the summer. It's because I never sleep during the school year. I mean I would only sleep for maybe 3 hours or only half an hour! So I think that during the summer I get all my rest that I need. Which is very good, cause then it gets me ready for the year again.

Well I am going camping tomorrow. I am leaving maybe in the late afternoon. So I shall be saying goodbye and everything in the day. I shall be gone till the 29th I think. I know I am coming back by the 30th because thats when my brother's birthday is^-^.

Today I went to Pan's because I wanted her to take pictures of my new shoes! lol. Also I wanted to ask her something about when I meet Adam^-^. My cousin Sara is all worried about me meeting him and everything. Lol.

Hmm...What to write now...OH! I was laying on Pan's Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">Bed">bed cause I was tired cause she let me have 2 cups of coffee...with LOTS of SUGAR! and some type of sugar food..lol^-^. Well anyways I was lying down, she came and told me to move but I said no so she went and layed down on me. She said fine I'll lay on you then. I said sure^-^. And she like was laying on me^-^ it was funny^-^.

Hmm...well I like talked to Adam for a while on the phone^-^ I miss him soo much! I'm gonna miss him alot when I'm gone ;_;. I love going camping but I would rather go with Adam. ;_;

I seem to be writing alot. well thats cause I havent been writing in a long time. I know I forgot a lotta stuff. I'll write more tomorrow. I'll write about what all happened^-^ for the stuff that I forgot^^. Hmm...well oh! Here is a poem/ song that I'm not done but I hope you like^^ Well I must be off now. I hope to talk to some of you some time^^ I love you Adam^^ I love you Pan, I love you Kalie! OH WELCOME BACK KALIE!!!!!! I love otako! I miss you otako!!! I better go now^^ hope you like this thing^^...

Darkness comes ever now and then
Lightness comes ever day and night
At times. Every time the light comes.
It burns my eyes, I live in the dark, I only go out
in the light when I have to. other then that I live
in the darkness cause I cant live in the light.it burns
My skin, it burns my eyes. it burns right thru my clothes
into my heart. I've been in the darkness ever since you left.
The darkness comes ever now and then. I wish that it would
stay here always. that there was no light. It burns all over me
It burns thru my clothes into my heart.

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

   read yesterdays post to under stand....and ead tht confuisng poem///bye

What Will You and Your Couple Look Like?::male and female:: by angel_drifter
Name:
Partners/want to be Partners name:
How Long Have You Know Them:
What You Look Like As A Couple:
What Makes Them Special:	they have the sweetest personality
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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Monday, July 18, 2005

   no idea what to post.
yeah here is a poem that isnt finshed and yeah I have no idea what it means or anything, I just started to write it and yeah.here is also a quiz and yeah...well here ya go...well byebye hope ya like it. I feel like shit now. I'll post maybe tomorrow. oh yeah the 8 months is sinse I knew adam as a friend the 5 months is since I started to go out eith him. well bye

we are told that we should love our friends
but what if our friends dont love us?
how can we love them if they dont
whats the point in loving someone who
Doesnt love you the same way.
whats the point in being friends with
them if they dont love you or even like you
at all. We are told that love only comes once
in a life time. People who say that are wrong.
There is always love in someone life.
it doesnt matter if its from a dfriends, a lover,
family. as long as there is love fromt hat person
Then it means that there is love in that life time
there can be more from other people. This poem
really has no point to it. if you dont like this poem
then why are you still reading it? Love is for everyone.

What Will You and Your Couple Look Like?::male and female:: by angel_drifter
Name:
Partners/want to be Partners name:
How Long Have You Know Them:
What You Look Like As A Couple:
What Makes Them Special:	they treat you like you are the only one for them
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Will You and Your Couple Look Like?::male and female:: by angel_drifter
Name:
Partners/want to be Partners name:
How Long Have You Know Them:
What You Look Like As A Couple:
What Makes Them Special:	they have the sweetest personality
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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