Monday, March 14, 2005

   does anyone know what this means?
dulces sueños y que sueñes con los angelitos ^^

does anyone know what that means? I really want to know. can you please tell me? its in spanish. so can you please tell me if you do know. thank you^^ bye
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Sunday, March 13, 2005

   so freaking funny!
I just spent the night at Pan's house, god was it so freaking funny! so many things happened that I cant even say them all! lol! we keeped saying things that were right and stuff but they sounded wrong which was soo freaking funny! it wasnt really a sleepover, it was kinda a wakeover...lol I mean...we didnt really sleep, we were talking and stuff way to much, then finally she got tired at like 2:30am or so and I went to bed at like umm....3:30am and didnt really sleep. I like only slept for like an hour or so. and then like dozed off here and there for like only 10mintues or so. and we didnt really wake up til like noon and stuff. lol it was so freaking funny! lol anyways...good news! I found my poem book! yay! *smiles* I is soo happy now! hehehehe!! I is so happy^^ I love Adame! I better go now. I cant stop laughing! lol hehehehe^^ I shall see you guys later. bye. love yas all. love ya adame.^^
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Saturday, March 12, 2005

   I...I...I...I...Lost...my poem book!
WAAAAAA! *cries* I lost my poem book! now I cant put up the poems that I wrote before! waaaaaa! *cries more* I cant find it! waaaaa! I even wrote a poem for Adame and now I cant find it! *cries even more*...I so sad now! waaaaaa! I cant find it! it had everything in it! EVERYTHING!!! I mean everything! waaaaa! *sits down and rolls up* I dont want anyone to find it and read it! thats not good!...waaaaaa! what could have happened to it?! where is it? *gets up and looks around everyone and everything* I cant find it! I cant!!!! waaaaaa! where the hell is it?! I need to find it now! stupid thing!....I is also sad because someone said I was ugly looking! me so sad...I wanna just go away and never come back...but I cant...I hate everything now...everything is messed up right now....waaaaa! I need to find that damn fucking book! no one can read it! damnit! I to sad to keep writing...bye...love you Adame...
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Friday, March 11, 2005

   Happy^^ So very Happy^^
I is soo very happy now^^ *smiles a lot* soo very happy^^ I cant even think straight! hehehehe^^ lol I is very happy I cant remember what I was going to write!!! lol^^ *thinks about what was going to write* I cant rememeber! ahh *hits me head on me desk* *bang bang bang* oww, me head hurts now. *rubs where it hurts* stupid desk! *hits the desk with my fist* lol^^ sorry I am weird^^ I love you Adame!hehehe^^
I'm weird so shut up^^ I have the right to be what I want now, I am soo very happy, I thought I would never be this happy but now I know I will^^ well I better go before I jsut go crazy^^ lol love you adame^^ bye
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Thursday, March 10, 2005

   group thingy.
hello everyone, how are you guys? good I hope. Me? I'm alright, kinda a little I dont really know, just like not happy cause I may have to go in some group thing where I get to talk about whats wrong because on sunday I tired to run away from home. so yeah now I may have to talk about whats wrong. woot! lol I dont like to. its boring and I dont trust them, talking about my feelings and stuff. so yes, I get to talk about how fucked up my life is. go me! yeah right. I hate it, its gay, life sucks. my mom thinks everything is like perfect when it is not. she wont show her feelings and she tells us to, god I hate her for that. she still smokes even tho she says that she doesnt. god everything is just so messed up now. oh yeah my brother cuts himself and he has to do this kinda thing but like one on one thing too, and he said to me, "if yuo wanna wear on of my things to cover the cuts you can" and I'm like "ok cool." cause we both cut (I know, Big bro, I shouldnt be doing this, you hate me now dont you?) anyways...yeah my life is fucked up and there nothing I can do about it. anyways I better get home cause now its like 4:31pm...wait I have to wait for Pan and Greg. OH I`'ll tell you what happened at lunch. Ok, Pan is like my Bitch(jokeing tho) and Greg is her boyfriend, we were running away from him and Pan sliped on ice so we went back to him and the other people. where he picked me up and threw me into the snow, I had to get help out cause i couldnt by my self anyways, Pan made me take off my hoodies(I was wearing 2) and Greg went "wow Fangs without a hoodie! thats a suprise!" and yeah me and pan both jumped back into the snow and had fun...lol not that kinda fun, I mean like getting a lot of snow on eachother...yeah it was mega fun. then when school was over I tried to kick Greg cause he pulled down on my hoodie so I couldnt see a thing. and He took my leg and made me hop all the way to the other end of the hall way. And oh yeah PAN HAf MY OTHER HOODIE!!!! she wont give it back!!! waaaaaa! lol I better go, tell my mom that I have to go to a group thingy someday not sure yet. anyways bye see you later people. oh yeah new background coming on soon.^^ bye^^ stupid group thing...bye
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Tuesday, March 8, 2005

   Why? Whats the point?
Why does everyone ask the same thing to me when they all know the answer? They always ask how me "How are you?" They even know that I am not ok. My boyfriend broke up with me. Why would I be ok? Why do people ask me that? Its the same thing. They ask me right after another. Whats the point in asking me when you know that the anwser is that I'm not ok. I wont ever be ok. People say to be happy. I am only happy to make other people happy, but inside I am not happy, I am not alright. I have even had people ask me out because they know I am not with anyone anymore...I dont think I can ever go out with someone else...I will never do anything...I am a bitch for what I did, Why did I do it? why? I'm a bitch, I hate myself. Why the hell did I ever do that?! I hate myself for doing that. I lost my only love and I shall never ove another...I know many people shall say I will get over it. I shall try to...but I dont think I can...I shall at least try to stay happy for everyone...but why does everyone ask me that? They ask me "Are you happy? Whats wrong?" They know whats wrong but they want me to talk about it. I dont want to talk about it. I never want to. I hate myself...why did I do that? why does everyone tell me "You should talk about how you feel. It will make you feel better." But in the end...no one understands how I feel, they think they do but they never will.Why?...They should know whats wrong by now, they should know that I dont want to talk about it, ever. That I am never going to be happy ever again, even though people say that I will, I know I will never be as happy as I was with him..Why?..Whats the point?...
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Monday, March 7, 2005

   Sorry to make you guys worried about me...very am...
Sorry to make you guys worried about me^^ I really am, sorry^^ very much sorry! anyways..I am going to write a poem to say how sorry and also another poem about how I feel. I really am sorry. Well I shall post later today if I can^^ see you later people^^
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Sunday, March 6, 2005

   hello everyone...
I guess I aint leaveing..damnit! my friends mom told my mom that I was there. and it was like 5am and shit...well...anyways...I shall see you all later on msn or yahoo or thru pms. see you later...bye
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   I wont be...
I'm leaving this plante....good-bye everyone...nice knowing you...have a good life...Good-bye...
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Saturday, March 5, 2005

   my last year grad pics. and others...
the one in the blue whole dress is my friend Kayla. but the one with the blue mixed thing is me! the one in the brown shirt is my friend Collette.





me at camp...when first got hair strightened,mme pat made me :|


anything, my brothers...
my brother greg.


my brother travis on the left, luke on the right...


me and my brother travis...


me and my friend Collette at my house.


and just my school pic^^

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