Sunday, April 30, 2006

   I'm so tired right now
I work a 6 and a half hour shift today. I was supposed to work a 7 hour shift but they told me to go home. Lol I worked at 4-10:30, was supposed to work at 4-11. but oh well. and tomorrow or what not I'm confused at what time is it. I work 3-7. And then don't work till Thursday, and then Saturday. lol. Anyways, I wish I could go home right now. But I have to watch over some kid, since his sister isn't back yet and yeah. I just wanna go home a rest! My feet are killing me! I've been in a pissed off mode for a while, don't know why. Last night, Alex, Travis, Keith, Jen, Steph, Amber and I all went outside. And Amber said if Travis did anything to her, she would kick his ass. and I just stared at her and Said "You fucking touch my brother, I will fucking kick your ass" And everyone knew I was fucking pissed off. Anyways, that amber chick is a fucking EMO! Anyways, I'm glad I said that. Now I am going to shut up and go and leave. So have a nice day. Cya
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Friday, April 28, 2006

   I'm confused..
I'm so confused about something...yet I don't know what. Anyways, I got paid today, :) I'm happy! I can soon buy a cell phone!Anyways...I am going to bring a baby thing from school home, for Home ec class. I'm so used to baby people thingys. lol. anyways, here is a poem I wrote. I hope you like it.

Tittle-N/A

Depressed, mad
Worried,
Wondering what is going to
Happen to us.
Not sure if you care about me
Not sure if you love me still
Still love you
Willing to wait for you
Wanting to be with you
Scared of what you might say
Scared of what might happen
Not sure how to go now
Not sure what to do about anything
Depressed, mad
Worried
Wondering if I should leave
Wondering if you are going to leave me
Wondering what will happen to everyone
Not sure if you still love me.
Not sure about anything
Knowing I still love you.
Knowing I never lied
Scared of what you might say
Scared of what you might do
Scared of what I might do
Scared of what is going on.
Thinking much of what you said
Thinking much of what I said
Hopping you will stay with me
Hopping that you won’t leave and break my heart
Wondering and hopping that you still love me enough
To stay with me
Not sure if should cry or not. Wondering what the hell is going on
Loving you so much that it hurts
Loving you so much that I want to die
Loving you so much that I don’t want to hurt you
Even if I just did. Wondering would if you would ever trust me again
Sorry for what I did. Sorry for caring,. Sorry for whatever might happen
Loving you so much that I hurts me.
Loving you so much that your all I think about.
Even at work, even in school. You’re the only one that I think about
It’s hard not to think about you.
Break making me want to die. Break making me wonder if you love me
Break making me wish I never told you a thing. Love you even if it doesn’t matter

I am going to up a song that I have been writing, yet it's not finished. but yeah. I'm confused about alex..I want to know what to do!..anyways here it is the song...

Tittle-The truth

The truth



Everything is scattered
The truth is no more
Love is no more
It is all about hate

Nothing more
Nothing less
Everything is starting to die

Everything true is starting to fade
Fade into nothing. No a thing
Can change the wait this is going.
There are only lies in the air

Nothing more
Nothing less
Everything is starting to die

All because love is fading,
All because the truth is fading
Everything is fading.
Everything is scattered.

There is no hero that can
Save that is going on.
No matter how hard they try
The truth is fading into lies

Nothing more
Nothing less
Everything is starting to die.
We can’t do a thing


Unless we start to tell the
Truth, unless we start to love again
All is fading. Truth is dying
Everything that we loved is dying

All because we lie
There isn’t anything a hero can do
For it is all up to us
We are the ones that lie, we are the ones
That can change it back.
We must tell the truth.
For then the love, and
Everything will come back

We must tell the truth and then
We can live again

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

   BLAH!
Hi people? how are you? I'm fine? I think? I like putting this? now? Or do I? What's up? I'm weird? Scared? yes? I'm going to stop that now. anyways, whats up? I don't work today or tomorrow. yay! steph is staying the night and yeah...blah! I am choking. lol. anyways, I say yuki yesterday! and colin! lol. Anyways, I'm tired...freaky! shower time! lol. weird! byebye! luv ya alls! cya at your school sometime yuki! byebye! CYA! *waves*
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

   Jeff broke up with me
He broke up with me cause he thinks i lied about something, but oh well. i don't really care. well i do but yeah...anyways, i'm working tomorrow. then friday, saturday, and sunday...lots of work, but means money. anyways, I don't know what to say, so yeah...blah! I'm hungry. I get paid this thurday. or what not. anyways, i gotta go right now. talk to yuo all later. byebye
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Thursday, April 13, 2006

hey hey
hey how are you everyone? my leg is better, sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy trying to get a job...which I did get!!!! :) I got a job! I got a job! and it's almost 2 weeks for me and jeff! :) happy! anyways, I got my report card....:( omg! I so need to bring up my marks and shit...stupid teachers for marking me not there when I wasn't there but I had a reason! Blah! Anyways, I gotta go babysit tomorrow...means money! lol. Anyways, I'll talk to everyone later. I gotta go now, need to sleep and then put the money into my bank account. Anyways, byebye people. love everyone. love Jeff...and miss him :( byebye
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Tuesday, April 4, 2006

my leg is hurts still!
I gotta go to the office after class to go and see if i can go home for a while. Cause it hurts to much to walk or anything. i can't even have it straight or not even straight, i can't have it anywhere. lol that probably makes no sense but you should know what i mean. I am so bored in this class. i have nothing to do right now. LOL. Anyways, I miss Jeff :( I love him so much. he makes me happy :) which is a good thing. anyways, i gotta go now. love jeff much. byebye
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   my leg!
it hurts like hell. i can not really walk. but it hurts alot! I am going home after this class, it hurts to much. but i gotta go see jeff today too...I'm sure if i just go home for a while then go and see him after it will be better. i might have to go to the doctors or something. i hope nothing bad has happened to my leg. cause fuck it hurts like hell. my other leg is hurting also now, which i dont know why. anyways i gotta go. byebye. love ya all. i miss jeff :( anyways bye
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Sunday, April 2, 2006

   Jeff and I are going out :)
I am so happy that him and I are going out now. Alex made him ask me out on the phone. lol Jeff didn't know how to ask me out. Lol. It was funny. Anyways, I am so freaking tired! I haven't slept yet, and probably won't. Since I am supposed to go to Greg's around 10:30. And then come home, give my mom her pancakes, and then get ready to go and see Jeff at the mall for a while with Ashley. :) I wanna see Jeff now. Lol. I am so freaking hyper. lol. It's like 6 am now. But anyways, I getta see Jeff later today. And then maybe the next day after that, and the next day after that. Lol I am weird. Lol. I can't stop moving around lol. Ah! I yawned! What the fuck!? I just read some of what I wrote and it may sound like I'm on drugs or something...which I'm not! Lol. Anyways....lalalalala PANCAKES! yummy. lol Anyways, I am gonna go now. And try and sleep. Which I don't think is going to happen, And then go to Greg's. and come back and go see my jeff:)...OH! and my mom said that Jeff can spend the night maybe lol, :) I wonder what will happen when he does. LOL Anyways. I wuv Jeff:) I put him in my name :) anyways, love ya all. but not as much as Jeff. Lol CYA! byebye. have a good day and night:)
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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

   For someone (That I know will never read this)
Will you ever talk to me again? To give me a reason why you even stoped talking to me? Or Am I just not important anymore like you said I was. Do you think I don't need a reason? Why won't you even say good-bye? Are you afraid? Are you scared? Do you think I am not important anymore? Will you ever give me an answer that I am looking for, or will I have to wait for the rest of my life, and more just to get an answer? I just wanted to say that I am sorry, That I will love you forever, Though I don't think you do. But I just wanted to say that. Good-bye
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Sunday, March 26, 2006

   Hey people.
How are you? I am...meh....SO tired! lol. anyways, sugar is god. don't you think so? I still have a slurpee in my frezzer? I think? I don't know anything today! HA! I still needa go and try and find a job, but I first need to get a clear thingy for my lipy. lol, that sounds funny. anyways, last night, Steph stayed over, and Alex of course was here once again. we went to go and get slurrpees and it was funny! lol. Anyuways more talking later. i go have be weird now. i wish my mommy wasn't a bitch, but meh, that's life, yuo can't change it even if you want to. well thats alll i gotta say, Bye bye
love ya all?>
i think?
BYE!
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