Monday, June 27, 2005

   Cut myself...no one would even care...
helo...what if I all told you that I am thinkin about...cutting myself again? I know you may ask why but I really dont know why. I just want to. Not on my arms though. People will see the cuts then. So yeah I am thinking about that. I know no one will care if I start again, I dont have to go see my stupid ass of a strink or whatever till september. I dont even talk to her. she does most of the talking...I dont really care. she doesnt care either. Hell no one cares. they only say they do to get something from you. Dont care. dont care about nothing. everyone can all go to hell! everyone should just leave me alone and stop asking if everything is alright! if everything was alright, wouldnt I be writing a happy post then?! fuck them all! if I want to talk abot it then I will! but fuck you all for asking over again and over again! every fucking 5 mintues! You know what? I think this is all a mistake! me being alive now! me having people who love me!I never asked for it you know! for people to love me! I even told them not to! but that doesnt do a fucking thing! you tell them not to love you! that they or you will only get hurt but hell no! that doesnt do a fucking thing! you know what! I am going to start cutting myself again...but where no one can see. No one will even care. I dont even care now. I wont say I love you to anyone anymore. Not Pan, Not Otako, Not Kalie, Not Ria.Not even Adam. no one shall be loved by me anymore. I want no one to love me. If someone say I love you to me. I wont talk to them and I will block them if they are on msn or yahoo. I dont love anyone...I wont love anyone...not matter how much my heart wll break I wont love anyone. you probably saying I am being stupid. that I should fucking cut...well Fuck you! you dont know me! no one does! not even Pan! no one knows the real me! People may think they do but they fucking dont! They dont know a damn fucking thing about me! I'm gonna go now. no one will care even if something bad happened to me. so Fuck off!




Poem...not sure what title
if you have one thats good I may use it^^


I stand there. thinking
Why am I even here.
Thinking why do I
Even bother to come
Why I should even be
Looking for you. thinking
Why cant I just leave.

You stand there
Thinking why is she
Here. You think what
To do with her
You think of all the things
That you can do to her.
She is just standing there
Like she is waiting for you
To do something to her.
You go to her and take her
Arm, you move her away from
Everyone.

When you move her away from
Everyone. you start to think what
You can do to her. When you get
Her away from everyone. You try
To do the things that you are thinking
To her. She thought you could help
Her but really you just wanted to
Hurt her. You just wanted to rip her
Heart out and hurt her.
Her wall went down, everone is
Crying, your crying, shes crying.
Will it ever stop? no it never will.
She will keep crying cause you
Took her away. Shes thinking
What did she do wrong?
She did nothing wrong. you did.

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