Monday, September 4, 2006

yay chap. 2 of manga/anime
Happy Days Lost: The Great Declaration of War



Tokyo. A bustling city with busy people leading normal lives. Many inhabit this metropolis, divided into many districts and populated by more people than the state of Rhode Island. But just do the people of this mighty city know how prone they are to war? No, they do not know the vulnerability they have and how easily they can all be plunged into its horrors. Not all wars however, are terrible…

Mitchell Goto, a young, noble high school student of Hideki Oyamata Memorial High School, will wage an invisible, non violent war on the tyrannical principal, Akira Nagasaki. What for? In the coming months Mitchell will declare war on his principal for the sole purpose of “student rights” because Nagasaki will eventually…hey! I can’t tell you this! Why do you want to spoil the plot for everyone! Selfish little lying cheating devil…haha…just kidding…

*The beginning of a revolution*


Konnichiwa! Mitch again! So, how did Chapter 1 fare? Are you somewhat interested now in HDL? Or are you still grumpy like Principal Nagasaki? Maybe if Chapter 1 didn’t get you into the series, then Chapter 2 will. It’s very funny, trust me, I’ve read it before. (Like all of the other ones, (sigh)…) We introduce some new characters and a boatload of corny political jokes, stereotypes, and more crazy American antics. Hopefully, you’ve got a sense of humor, or you’ll never get these jokes. Well, gotta’ go. I have to work to make you laugh. It’s my job…



It was 8:15 a.m. exactly when Sakura and Ayumi arrived to school on a dark, clouded, and pouring day. Drenched from the outside, both girls headed to the bathroom to dry themselves after their wet experience to get to school. But, they walked in, and found no one. Absolutely no one in the hallway. What’s up with that?

“Hey Sakura…”

“Yeah Ayumi…”

“Nobody’s here…Is there school today?”

“I think so…it said so on the calendar.”

“But there’s nobody here…”

“It’s got to be a prank…”

Ayumi and Sakura walked farther on, noticing that the halls felt windy and tumbleweeds flew right past them, but they didn’t notice. They just continued to the bathroom, still soaking wet. That’s when they noticed Niomi walking over to them; a big smile gleamed at them. Niomi approached Ayumi and Sakura calmly but fast.

“Hey Niomi, what’s…”

“Hey guys, I was looking for you!”

“Niomi, where is everyone?” Ayumi looked around the hallway for other students with no success.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean where the hell did everyone go?” Ayumi’s voice got a little tenser and Sakura spoke up next.

“Everyone’s gotta be here today. Niomi, where is everyone?”

“Didn’t you guys check the clocks…?” Niomi was shocked in disbelief that they had absolutely no idea what was going on, “It’s 1st period right now. Remember, daylight’s savings?”

“WHAT?!!!” Sakura and Ayumi both yelled at the top of their lungs. It was already 1st period? But they just got to school. What’s going on here?!

“Ms. Goto thought you two were cutting class, so she asked me and Mitch-san to find you.”

“But…where’s Mitch-san?”

That question was answered when the voices of Mitchell and Principal Nagasaki were heard as they sprinted throughout the hallways.

“MR GOTO!!! WHY ARE YOU CUTTING CLASS?!”

“I was only helping to look for missing students! I wasn’t doing anything!”

Mitchell was being chased by Principal Nagasaki as they zigzagged from hallway to hallway, finally zooming towards Sakura, Niomi and Ayumi, and as they blew by them, their uniforms blew in the direction they were running in and were almost glued like that, with shirts and skirts and hair all blown to the one side. Quickly shaking themselves back to normal, they looked on in horror as Mitchell was being stampeded at by the principal, both leaving a trail of fine, light brown dust that polluted the air, yelling, screaming and caused the girls to cough a bit.

“Yeah…Mitchell’s helping you alright…”

Mitchell continued to be chased around the hallways and Nagasaki continued to chase poor Mitchell around. He was very angry and ticked off.

“Uh…I’m going to go get Mitch-san now…”

“And we’re going to class!” Ayumi and Sakura yelled together. The girls looked at Niomi, who looked back at them as they slowly but steadily walked away. Finally, all of the girls said together; “Later” gleaming with big grins on their faces, and finally, leaving each other’s sites as they marched to their next destinations…

***

“Hiya everyone! I’m Batou Yamada! The toughest first year in Hideki High!” This came from Batou’s booming voice.

Batou Yamada. A cocky, arrogant and dimwitted individual. He always acted very tough around everyone because he always wanted to be tough. Seeing all the action movies motivated him to be strong and bad-ass, which has caused him more trouble than success. Batou is, in his mind great and powerful, but on the outside the dimwit is as great as Prime Minister Mori’s term. But while he acts what he’s not, he does have some redeeming qualities…no wait, he doesn’t have any. But he does have a “sidekick.” That counts for something right? Even if he is the most annoying high schooler alive…

“You don’t have to be so loud.” said his henchman Seigi with boredom and sarcasm.

There is no bio to Seigi. I was too lazy to make him detailed, since he rarely makes an impact, but his past is shrouded in mystery…

“Shut it Seigi! You won’t let me be able to monologue if I don’t yell!” Batou raised a fist in the air and looked to his friend with rage.

“Whatever Batou…”

“Now, where was I? Oh yeah…I heard there’s American on school grounds trying to take over! I’m not gonna let that happen, no sir!”

“No, you just read that in the script…”

“I SAID SHUT UP SEIGI!!!”

“…” Seigi’s face was blank and Batou’s face was on fire. He also looked very ticked off.

“I, Batou Yamada, toughest first year in Hideki High, promise to give it my all and stop the American oppression! If Mitch-san and his American friend want Hideki High, well then they’ll have to get through me!”

Seigi sighed and walked out of view. Batou continued to ramble on about how Mitchell was bad and all, until interrupted by the chime of the bell for the next class. He then stopped, and twitched with his eye and his mouth a crooked smirk with mouth gaping open.

“Oh…uh…yeah…um…Stop the American oppression! Down with Mitch-san! Save Hideki…”

“Just…no” Seigi reappears, and disappears as soon as he had come.

“Some henchman you are Seigi!”

“I’m not a henchman; I’m a victim of Batou oppression.”

“JUST SHUT THE HELL UP SEIGI!!!”

***

Back at class, Mitchell, CJ, Sakura, Ayumi, and Niomi were hanging out in one big area waiting for the next teacher to come to class, while everyone else in the classroom was also scattered in groups around the room. It was also around this time that Mitchell would think on his last words from the last chapter…

Sakura and CJ are talking about trying to pronounce names correctly, while Niomi and Ayumi are talking about after school activities. Mitchell, meanwhile, is in deep thought, while in the background Pac-man is harassing students in the far right corner.

“Mr. Nagasaki is an evil man…”

CJ and Sakura out of nowhere started to argue with each other, eyes bulging with rage and a background of fire and a big white “WAR AND PAC-MAN?!” surging through the screen and Pac-Man in WWII German outfit and whip.

“I remember yesterday in detention what he did to everyone…”

FLASHBACK!!!

Mitchell, along with 6 other students, sat in cramped desks in a tiny classroom right next to the principal’s office. The detention room, the most dreaded place a Japanese high school student has to ever visit. An evil, maniacal place, filled with horrors unimaginable. Extra homework, absolute silence, cramped space, piles of work, and the dreaded chalkboard writing and no heat or A/C are just some of the many strange, bizarre and dastardly things that torture the detention student on his unlucky of days. But not Mitchell. No sir, he can’t be bothered by any of that. He’s experienced this many a time in New York City at his high school. Mitchell’s take on it: steal the answers if possible. If not, then you’re screwed.

Principal Nagasaki loomed over his prisoners in disgust. Today he had gotten 6 detentions. On the first day even! That’s more than twice the average amount each year for the school! No wonder Nagasaki is infuriated!

“6 detentions…6 detentions! I am truly and honestly disappointed in all of you!” Nagasaki paced himself left to right in front of the classroom rather quickly and glared at the students from time to time. “Never in the history of this fine school has this ever happened on the first day! What do you all have to say for yourselves?!” His voice grew louder with each word he barked at the students. Mitchell responded to this harsh question through a common conception.

“But, Mr. Nagasaki, people are just trying to have fun.” Mitchell’s remark made a few people agree with his comment, but Nagasaki bounced back with such rage he almost did seem to be tyrannical.

“Mr. Goto?!” Nagasaki stopped pacing and stormed over to Mitchell. Mitchell, grinning at principal Nagasaki, turned his grin into a rye smile when the principal approached him. He didn’t look like a happy camper. “Are you trying to get yourself on my last nerve Mr. Goto?!”

“Define ‘your last nerve’?”

Mr. Nagasaki, not amused, glared harshly into Mitchell’s eyes and tried to intimidate him, but was unsuccessful; mainly due to the fact Mitchell was still cheerful as ever.

“Mr. Goto, you are ‘this’ close to getting another detention tomorrow! Now quiet down and let me talk, alright!!!” Mr. Nagasaki was fierce enough to stop Mitchell from talking again. Returning again to the front of the classroom, Principal Nagasaki returned to his original position when detention began in front of the classroom. He was severely enraged as he scanned the classroom of any troublemakers who tried to test his authority.

“Who else wants to disrupt me?”

Mitchell did it again…

“I would Mr. Nagasaki, but I can’t think of anything else. Sorry.”

“MITCHELL!!! DETENTION TOMORROW, GOT IT?!!!”

“But I’ve got track practice tomorrow…”

Together everyone in the room, disoriented and shocked, blurted out rather loudly; “YOUR ON THE TRACK TEAM?! ALREADY?!!!”

“Yeah. A third year, Genji Tanazaki, invited me to join. I don’t know why though. He said it was something about ‘Americans are really fast’ and all.”

Now, Nagasaki knew kids needed to get active, but he also needed to discipline them too on their ruthless behavior. Caught in a bind, he thought to himself on how to solve this issue. Let Mitchell practice and get active? Or keep him in detention and discipline his cruel ways? Hm…

“Just do your work, all of you! Nobody start any more conversations or anything, got it?” Then Nagasaki glared menacingly at Mitchell, “This goes especially for you Mr. Goto!”

“Could you please not call me that? Everyone else calls me Mitch-san, so maybe if you…”

“Hush Mr. Goto!!!”

FLASHBACK OVER!!!

“Mr. Nagasaki…evil…yes…” Mitchell continued thinking to himself until a student came up from behind him and patted him on the shoulder. This was Ken Kasunaga, someone Mitchell had met in detention the day before.

Ken Kasunaga is a 1st year just like Sakura, Ayumi and Niomi. His real name is Kengi, but he prefers the shorter nickname everyone calls him. Ken, the last member of Mitchell’s big group of friends, is taller than everyone but Mitchell and CJ. Ken is also the only one in the group to dye his hair blonde. His personality reflects these things…

Ken is an odd mix of CJ and Kyoko’s personalities. He’s energetic and wild, yet calm and kind. Having a cheerful disposition to hide his wild side, Ken is more or less an average teenager going through high school. He enjoys video games and arcades, as well as bowling. (For some odd reason he just loves to roll the bowling ball.) Ken is just like any high school guy, unless you consider where his friends are before he meets Mitchell and group…that is, if he has any…

“Mitchell!” Ken smiled cheerfully like Mitchell as he patted him on the back. “There you are.”

“Hey Ken. What’s up?” Mitchell turned around with an even more cheerful expression.

At this point CJ, Sakura, Niomi and Ayumi all turned their heads in Ken’s direction. Who was this guy? He acted as if he knew Mitchell yet he wasn’t in the first chapter. How?


CJ was the first to speak.

“Hey! Who the hell are you? We didn’t see you in the last chapter?!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you all,” Mitchell replied, “This is Kengi Kasunaga from our class. You didn’t see him because he was in the back of the classroom. He’s part of our Anti-Nagasaki group.”

“Anti-Nagasaki group?” Sakura and Niomi were confused to what this meant.

“Yeah. Mitch-san and I were in detention together…”

FLASHBACK AGAIN!!!

Mr. Nagasaki was reading a novel while sitting in a leather business chair while the students were all doing paperwork. Mitchell had competed all of his work in record time, and was resting, with his legs up on the desk and arms crossed behind his head. Meanwhile, the rest of the students were hard at work doing work.

Ken, who sat right next to Mitchell, was really confused. He couldn’t figure the answer to the problem. Looking over to Mitchell, he saw a boy sleeping, with the answers all filled out and the teacher not looking, he tried to look at Mitchell’s answers. However, he had to move them, right in front of Mitchell, the class, and Mr. Nagasaki, something that seemed impossible and illogical. But, he had to get work done, regardless. Risks were all a part of life, after all.

Ken reached over Mitchell’s desk and flipped over the paper. Thank god he was sleeping and wasn’t noticed by the Principal. This would’ve made the process much worse. Ken strained a bit, his hand couldn’t really reach that far (the desks were spreads out pretty far) and it took much concentration to flip the page. He squinted his eyes and looked away because he had pulled a muscle in his arm and he tried not to scream or shout. His glasses fell onto his desk, and he pulled his arm away and yelped but very softly so no one could hear. But Nagasaki did, and he looked over in curiosity and saw Ken in pain, but still with one had over Mitchell’s paper. Mitchell yawned and woke up with everyone staring at him and his desk. With sleepy eyes he scanned his desk and saw Ken’s hand outstretched on his desk and paper.

“Uh…hehe…you dropped your paper while you were sleeping?” Ken turned really sweaty, hoping everyone would believe him. And they did.

“Oh, thanks man. I wouldn’t have caught that at all.”

“Mr. Goto, no sleeping in detention, got it? Now finish your…”

“It’s finished.”

“WHA?!!! SO SOON?!” Nagasaki, along with the rest of the students, freaked that he got ALL that work done so fast. What did he do, freeze time?

“Yep. All of it. But why are you all looking at me, you’ve got work to do! Now get working! That goes for you to Mr. Goto!!! No American funny business ya’ hear!!!” Mitchell spoke in Mr. Nagasaki’s voice, and everyone chuckled, except for Nagasaki of course who looked really unamused.

“Mr. Goto, for the remainder of detention, please keep it down, and don’t make fun of me. Understood?”

“Roger that Mr. N! Alright everyone, you heard the man! No yelling! That means you to Mr. Goto!” Mitchell was obviously having way too much fun to remember he was doing anything bad.

“Mitch-san, you might wanna sit down…” Ken motioned Mitchell to sit, but he didn’t budge.

“Why?” Mitchell seemed awfully confused. What was he doing wrong?

Mr. Nagasaki was infuriated now with Mitchell mocking him. He had never been more humiliated in his life.

“Mr. Goto…don’t push it. You’ve already got me angry enough!” More tense than ever was Nagasaki. If Mitchell doesn’t stop god knows what’ll happen to him. But, he snapped out his ordeal and sat down after seeing Nagasaki’s menacing face. This calmed the Principal down a bit and allowed him to return to his desk in the front of the room.

“Mitch-san, what are you crazy?! Trying to get the principal worked up on the first day!”

“No that’s okay; I already did that earlier today.”

Ken looked at Mitchell and blinked, sighed, and blankly looked away in utter disgrace.

“It’s true! Americans are crazy!”

“No, I think the term you’re looking for is ADD Poster Child.” Mitchell grinned in casual fashion and cheerfully looked to Ken, who chuckled when Mitchell looked to him in American sarcastic fashion.

“See, everyone is born with ADD. I just happen to use it more often than most people. And it’s funny to annoy people with too.”

Ken started cracking up now. Detention was becoming a fun place with Mitchell. Soon everyone else joined in laughter with random remarks Mitchell flew out of his mouth. From time to time Principal Nagasaki looked over his novel and saw the commotion and barked at Mitchell and everyone to shut up. But everyone continued anyway, until an important issue popped up. The same issue that popped up last chapter…

“Yeah…” Mitchell suddenly went from happy-go-lucky to serious almost so quickly it was like watching Babe Ruth smack a homerun at Yankee stadium.

“Mitch-san...what’s up?” One of the students looked in concern to Mitchell, who stared silently at his desk. Looking up to his audience, he grinned and cheerfully motioned them to follow him to the back of the room, where a declaration of war to be applauded by the six students that would lead Hideki through hell and back.

Those that followed Mitchell would include all but one quieter individual who strayed away from Mitchell and his band of unethical and uneducated followers. This person, who is a 2nd year at Hideki high, plays a great role in the school wars to come…

“Okay. Everyone here that wants to be here?”

“Yup.” a whispered chorus echoed at Mitchell. He looked at the 4 students who anxiously awaited Mitchell’s response.

“How many of you ‘dislike’ Mr. Nagasaki? Like, I mean…the older guys, how much do you dislike him?

There were 2 upper classman of the group. Ryoku Sanga and Jin “Big Guy” Mizuharo. Both were second years and very odd for second years.

First, there’s Ryoku. Ryoku is geeky looking, and appears younger than his age says. But he’s a very smart kid, and knows a lot about things most people don’t know. He can also be at times a bit cocky and arrogant.

Finally, there’s Jin. Jin is on the Hideki High Junior Sumo team and the 5th best on the team. He’s a bit slow and clumsy, but he’s always upbeat and cheerful, which makes up for it. He can be actually be a cool guy to hang with, if you get over his obsession with Taiyaki pastries and Wrestling.

“Well, uh…” Jin started, but Ryoku finished, “He’s crazy. Mr. Nagasaki is really mean to. I don’t like him at all.”

“Ryoku, that’s not nice!” Jin looked to his acquaintance with concern and regret to Ryoku’s last remark.

“You know it as well as I Jin! Nagasaki is a menace to this school! What about the time they stopped selling pastry sweets?”

“That wasn’t nice of them.”

“Excuse me guys,” Ken looks to Ryoku and Jin’s direction, “Since when did pastry sweets become the conversation?”

“Mmm pastry sweets!” Jin began day dreaming about pastries and himself eating a huge plate of them. Next to him, Edward Elric popped out of the pastries and proclaimed “There’s no pin in the Pastry dish! Let’s try the Sushi dish!” Ed dashed out of the pastries and ran out of Jin’s daydream. Along with Ed was Alphonse, his little brother, in the armor outfit.

“Big brother, wait!” Alphonse dashed out of the pastries and the daydream ended.

Mitchell looked at Jin, who was daydreaming, Ken, who was looking at Ryoku and Jin, and then Ryoku, trying to daze out Jin. Mitchell then turned his attention to 2 girls sitting next to him, dazed, confused, and chatting with each other.

One was Shizuka Tanagawa, a playful and upbeat girl who always loved to get into mischief and sometimes be a killjoy. Although she doesn’t act it at first glance, Shizuka is one of the most devious, sly, tricky and cunning young ladies you’ll ever meet. Along with a chest that’s bigger than Ayumi, being sort of popular, and on the Newspaper committee, she’s almost all that.

And then there was Koname Haeuko. Koname was more preppy than Shizuka, and much more book smart than her counterpart. And while she’s also on the Newspaper committee, she’s more accurate on her stories, and timid around many people. More lady like as well, she’s the complete opposite of Shizuka. Koname also has a fascination with butterflies.

“So girls,” Mitchell cheerfully smiled to them, “Do you hate Nagasaki’s guts?”

Both girls were 1st years, and were in detention on the first day. What they had seen happen to Mitchell earlier and how they got in trouble so unexpectedly did stir some emotion of anger towards Nagasaki.

“Sort of, I guess.” This was from Koname, who got really quiet after she said that.

“Konami! How can you say that about Nagasaki sensei?” Shizuka stared coldly at her and then looked to Mitchell. “I’m really sorry about Koname Mitch-san. She doesn’t…”

“What do you mean? That’s the answer I was looking for.” Mitchell grinned and confused, Shizuka tried to clear things up with Mitchell.

“Huh? But…but…he’s the principal!”

“And tyrannical like Stalin, Hitler, and Republicans. Why do you think you’re in detention? Isn’t it Principal Nagasaki?”

Shizuka thought for a moment. She was in detention, and from Nagasaki, not his teacher, just because she lost her pass to the bathroom. For something so small too. Mitchell was right…

“Yeah, he did.”

“See? What did I tell you? He’s the one that’s given you a bad rep already. Are you just gonna take that?”

“Well…uh…”

Mitchell looked sadistically into her eyes and a fiery background sprouted from nowhere. Mitchell almost looked evil…

“NO YOUR NOT!!!” Mitchell freaked out Shizuka and Koname, and then got all calm and happy again. He had a weird habit of doing that. “You deserve your rights as a Japanese citizen!”

“But…we don’t have many rights as minors.” Koname replied timidly again. Shizuka agreed, and they began talking about the rights of Japanese minors. With both sides of the group conversing, Mitchell couldn’t get anyone to listen, so he used his last resort…

Mitchell, out of nowhere flung out an electric guitar and began picking at it while tweaking it.

“If you guys don’t to listen to me I’m gonna play STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN!”

Immediately everyone stopped and gazed perplexed in horror at Mitchell picking at his guitar.

“Okay, we’re done! We’re done!” The chorus of Ken, Shizuka, Jin, and Ryoku yelled out at Mitch-san, who was blown away by their loud booming voices, with his hair blown out of style. Mitch shook his head and got his hair back into style and prepared to explain his plan of action.

“Okay then everyone,” Mitchell threw his guitar out the window and fell from 3 stories, with a large crash and screaming from people all over the street, “I want you to know…” Mitchell came close into the group and motioned everyone to do the same, “I’m declaring war on Nagasaki!”

FLASHBACK OVER!!!!

Oh…But wait, what about Ken, and the other guys? What did they…?”

“Due to budget cuts and loss of interest in the scene, we couldn’t fit that in. Basically everyone was shocked, then after a long discussion agreed, and thus we declared war on the principal, got another detention, and thus was formed the Student’s committee after the incident. Shizuka, Ken, Jin, Ryoku and Koname joined together and later became the “The Student’s Vanguard.” And the rest is too detailed for me to explain because I’m too tired.”

“Oh…”

“But that doesn’t explain why YOUR here!” CJ pointed directly at Ken with anger. His eyes lost their pupils and he was wearing a demotic outfit, his coat floating Yu-Gi-Oh styled.

“Well you should let me tell you why before you go ASSUMING these things!” Ken fought back with the same temper and anger as CJ. He was wearing an angelic outfit with the same Yu-Gi-Oh style coat floating.

Suddenly, both CJ and Ken flipped out and got into an argument that was very loud and harsh. Fists were thrown. Bagels were eaten. Pac-Man reached level 4! Mitchell, Sakura, Ayumi, Niomi, and Winry Rockbell watched in horror, blankness, absent minded, and hunger as both Ken and CJ battled it out.

“If only I had given them my automail, this would’ve been a better fight.” After Winry said that, all of the audience nodded their heads in agreement. They looked back to the fight and saw Ed and Pac-man fighting each other.

“What the?!” Sakura, Niomi and Ayumi looked in shock that it wasn’t Ken and CJ fighting. “Where’s the other 2 guys?!”

“Where have they been? There not in a fight.” Mitchell and Winry shrugged in dull displeasure. Mitchell then pulled out a box of pockys and offered it to Winry, whose eyes burst with pink hearts and a sparkly pink background appeared with Mitchell and the box of pockys on it.

“Pockys!” Winry glomped Mitchell and tackled him to the ground. Mitchell blushed when he got glomped.

Ayumi looked in shock at Mitchell and Winry.

“Are we even sticking to the storyline here?”

Over in the corner CJ and Ken were in deep discussion about the war against Nagasaki. Ken sat serious in a chair tilted backwards and CJ sat in his chair with legs lazily sitting on desk and arms crossed.

“I believe this war will change Hideki forever.” Ken got really cold and serious, with a thunderstorm echoing and flashing with pouring rain pattering at the window where he was near.

“It could jeopardize the lives of the students as we know it. It would be too dangerous.” The same seriously cold expression appeared on his face with the same stormy background and an old man waving happily outside the window.

“Then we’d have to do it ourselves…”

“WHAT?! Are you crazy?” CJ grabbed Ken’s collar and shook him violently, “How are 6 kids going to win a war against the principal of Hideki High Ken?! Tell me!?”

“I can explain that,” Mitchell appeared out of nowhere and sat next to them, coldly staring at the wall, “We’ll have to die in order or the mission to succeed. Nagasaki is a tyrant that like Bush won’t go down without a fight, even for a lie or cover-up.”

“We have to use brute force, like Tanks or Artillery or Oprah Winfrey.” Sakura popped serious and coldly into the conversation with an emotionless face. Mitchell, Ken and CJ all nodded in agreement.

“But we still have to work our way through Normandy Beach…”

“ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELVES?!” Ayumi and Niomi looked over with mouths gaping and eyes bulging in shock and disbelief.

The entire group sitting over at the desks by the window looked up at them, Mitchell in curiosity, CJ in boredom, Ken in laziness, and Sakura a mixture of Mitchell and CJ.

“How can you listen and talk at the same time guys? It’s really hard for us you know.” Mitchell smiled at them in trademark fashion. Niomi blushed and smiled back while Ayumi stared blankly at them.

“Now, back to business…”

“I want a cookie!” CJ cried out in funny crying.

“Now now CJ, the war council hasn’t finished its discussion yet. You can have a cookie afterwards.”

“Mitch-san?”

Mitchell looked over to Sakura, who had something to point out.

“Madam President is campaigning this year.”

“Who’s Madam President?” CJ poofed himself closer to Sakura when he said this. Ayumi and Ken glared at CJ as they crept closer and got face to face with him.

“Madam President is Ms. Kitsumi Michiko, the school student president for 6 straight years back before high school.” Said Ken coldly at CJ’s face

“That witch has never been beaten in popularity and power for a good 5 years. She has too many supporters, and worst of all, she’s a suck up to principals, usually to get the Presidency position.” Ayumi told CJ bitterly.

“If we can make her lose, then we’ll get support?” Mitchell was dressed in a lab coat, writing a long math problem on a chalkboard.

Ken and Ayumi stood shocked at the stupidity of that remark. They’ve heard it 100 times, but it’s never been done.

“ARE YOU CRAZY MITCH-SAN?!”

“What ever could you mean guys? It shouldn’t be that hard to…” Ken and Ayumi ran up to Mitchell and covered his mouth and eyes, interrupting him.

“Mitch-san, no one has ever done it before, and all those who have tried were ridiculed for the rest of their lives! We don’t want that kind of humiliation on you!”

Mitchell took both of his hands, grabbed Ayumi and Ken’s hands, and flung them to the sides. His face was glowing with light, and his clothing turned white. A background that looked like heaven appeared before him. He looked dead serious and seemed almost godly with the pose he stood in.

“No Mitch, this isn’t the school play.” CJ called to him. Mitchell sighed, and everything returned to normal.

“Well then…” Mitchell looked at everyone, “Madam President hasn’t been beaten EVER right? We’ll just have to change that.” Ayumi, Ken, and Sakura’s mouth’s hung open and eyes bulged out. CJ and Niomi waved their hands in front of their faces, but they remained in that shocked state.

“What? You don’t believe in us?” CJ smirked and stopped to gaze mischievously at them, “Me and Mitch once took on the entire student representatives back home all by ourselves!”

“But that was with Tom, Kara, and…” CJ ran up to Mitchell and covered his mouth and motioned him to be quiet.

“Whatever are you talking about Mitchell…?” CJ flung a wiffle ball bat just then from his back and slammed Mitchell with it a dozen times.

Niomi, Ayumi and Ken looked on in horror for poor Mitchell, whose continual battering made them become concerned for his safety. From time to time they looked away to hide the pain as they felt it along with him. Finally the hitting stopped. Instead, it was Edward Elric beating up Pac-Man.

“HUH?!”

Mitchell and CJ were found talking to students around the classroom rather “spiffily” and trying to talk to everyone to help support the cause, which really didn’t seem to work. They returned over to the rest of the group in disappointment.

“What the…? Weren’t you guys just fighting just now?”

Mitchell looked up, grinned and nodded no.

“But…but…Ed and Pac-man are…”

“Anything is possible with Barbie!” CJ threw a Barbie doll high into the air and a bright white light encompassed it. It was not seen again afterwards…

Mitchell walked over to more of the classmates and talked to them. Influence wasn’t helping now. After an unsuccessful persuasion, he came back with a wry smile.

“Guys…”

They all looked to Mitchell’s direction.

“…It’s gonna be harder than we thought…”

“Of course it will smart one!” CJ flung his bat out and whacked Mitchell again, this time Sakura, Niomi, Ayumi and Ken shrieked in horror.

“Why do you have to hit Mitch-san?” Niomi questioned CJ in a concerning voice.

“Cause Niomi…” CJ began mischievously, “its fun.” As soon as he said this Ayumi, Sakura, and Ken all began hitting Mitchell too.

“Poor Mitch-san…” Niomi looked away with a disappointed and concerned face.

Suddenly, the bell rang for the next class. Study hall was over, unfortunately. But everyone seemed to have bonded a little. That’s good…right?

“You’re lucky Goto! I would’ve killed you if that hadn’t ringed!” CJ slid his bat behind his back and walked off to his desk. Sakura and Ken followed. Ayumi sighed and went to her desk and Niomi followed, smiling. Mitchell, however, stayed where he was. He just sat by the closest desk in the back, kicking up his legs, folding his hands behind his back, and smiled. He looked over everyone in the room who around while the next period teacher, Mrs. Hano, entered. Mrs. Hano was an older teacher who was mean but not mean like Nagasaki. Her rickety old bones rotted with tolerance and killjoy. She also dislikes foreigners.

Mrs. Hano entered in a hurry, setting her things quickly on her desk and getting right to attendance. She seemed very hasty today for an odd reason.

“Mrs. Hano,” one of the students concerningly asked, “Are you okay?”

“Okay?” She grimly snared at the student, “I’m quite fine. Just fine.” Now she was furiously writing attendance and the pencil looked like it was on fire! The students all over the class got really quiet and watched Mrs. Hano do attendance with anger in her eyes.

“None of you pupils understand my pain right now! That little rat Mizuhiko…”

“Excuse me sensei,” Mitchell called out, “did you loose a bet with Mrs. Mizuhiko?”

Mrs. Hano’s writing stopped. Fire in her eyes, she glared up at Mitchell and slammed her fist on her desk.

“That rat won 7,000 yen from me! She’s got 8,000 yen that Bitch!” The students all fell over in disbelief.

“Mrs. Hano…”

Mrs. Hano looked at Mitchell again in anger.

“I heard Mrs. Mizuhiko was a good gambler from the 3rd years, so you don’t have to feel bad about…”

“It’s not the money Mr.Goto!” Mrs. Hano began writing a math problem on the board as furiously as she wrote down attendance. There was an awkward silence during this lecture.

“Okay! If Mrs. Mizuhiko has 1000 yen that she bet 3000 yen of and owed 500 yen to muah, but managed to get 7000 yen how much did Mrs. Mizuhiko actually get out of my money?!”

Everyone was silent. Was this some sort of trick question? She didn’t seem to be audible to everyone. And when you don’t answer a question in Mrs. Hano’s class, you get a harsh lecture on asking questions. Who was going to answer it though? Niomi didn’t know. Neither did Ken or Ayumi. (Their all smart in math)

“All 7,500 yen ma’am” everyone looked over at Mitchell, who was relaxing and picking at his teeth with a toothpick.

“How…how’d you know Mr. Goto?!” Mrs. Hano gasped. Everyone in the room gasped, except CJ, who was busy taking a snooze to notice.

“It’s simple ma’am. She won your 7000 yen, but she also owed you 500 yen. But since she won and you had said she had owed you but she has 8000 yen there can only be one explanation: She never paid you back and thus, she walks away with the cash you should’ve deserved, and you are left with nothing.”

“Wow Mitch-san…” The students golf-clapped for his long monologue but Mrs. Hano grunted.

“Well, aren’t we the student of the year, Mr. Goto. Now, enough of that, everyone’s getting back to work…”

“But sensei,” Ayumi called, “We never received work today.”

“YOU WELL SOON THEN! I WAS TOO DISTRACTED BY THE FACT I LOST 7000 YEN TO MRS. MIZUHIKO!!!”

Everyone in the room seemed to be shutting up and acting really afraid now. CJ woke up in abruptness just then and burst out, saying:

“I don’t have a dollar man! Stop begging me for one, okay!”

Mrs. Hano glared at him. She raised a brow.

“Mr. Kursk? Is there something you’d like to share with us?”

“I DON’T HAVE A DOLLAR MR. PRESIDENT!!! YOU CAN’T TAKE MY TAX REFUND BACK!!!”

“Mr. Kursk, Detention after school today!”

“MY DOLLAR!!!”

Sakura smacked CJ upside the and he went out of the dream phase he was in. He looked up at Mrs. Hano and saw her disapproving glare at him. CJ said to her dazed and a bit light-headed:

“Mrs. Hano, did I just sleep-talk?”

She looked confused as her glare turned to perplexity.

“You were sleeping Mr. Kursk?”

“Yessum.”

“At least you’re being honest. Well, if you didn’t know you have a detention for…uh…sleep-talking.

CJ shrugged, and class resumed without further distraction until the lunch bell rang…


*The good, the bad, and Batou Yamada*


It was lunch now for the gang. After most the day winding up like Mrs. Hano’s class, it’s annoyed but boring.

CJ, Mitchell, Sakura, Niomi, Ayumi, and Ken all sit in a 3 desk table they have made that stays right up against the wall by the windows. Here CJ is munching on a small serving of Ramen noodles and whoofing down a soda, Mitchell is chowing down on a small container of pure white rice, and Niomi, Ken, Ayumi and Sakura are eating homemade lunches in larger containers. They were busy away chowing down as well.

“Hey Mitch-san,” Sakura said while she had food in her mouth and noticed Mitchell’s tiny meal, “If you and CJ so tall how come your eating a small bowl of rice and CJ’s eating instant Ramen? Don’t you need big meals to fill your stomach?”

“Nope” Mitchell grinned at her, “I’ve got no appetite is all.”

“It’s why he’s so skinny, besides being part Japanese,” CJ explained while swallowing a noodle, “Unlike the rest of America, Mitchell has 4 percent body fat. The rest is muscle. Unlike me however...,” CJ struck his fist to his gut, “You can tell I’m American.”

“Really? Mitch-san has 4 percent?”

“Yup. I’ve got 12 percent. But I’m still pretty slim. It’s what happens when you live in New York.” Sherlock Holmes was over by a desk reading and old newspaper and smoking a cigarette as he spied on CJ. His face was menacing.

“But I still look skinny!” CJ tried to gather attention to himself but failed as everyone continued eating their lunch, except for Mitchell who gave his lunch away.

“Don’t worry dude. You’re a lean, mean, crime-fighting machine.” Mitchell grinned, as he always does.

“Yeah, but who says I fight crime?” CJ grunted and continued eating. As everyone else ate, and Mitchell relaxed, there was the sound of something loud in the hallway. A banging that frightened many students drew closer and closer to them. It was a terrible instrument banging that seemed to shake the room as it got closer. The group had already heard this and stopped eating; looking scared at the entrance of the classroom to await the monstroucity. It was none other than that annoying kid, Batou Yamada, dressed in WWII German outfit along with Seigi, as a drummer which caused the noise. Batou look energetic but Seigi was a tree stump.

“Batou, you rat.” Ayumi murmured angrily.

“Why do have to piss us off so early in the year!” Sakura told it almost too loud. Ken and Niomi also looked at him menacingly.

CJ and Mitchell were in complete disarray to who this Batou was. Who was he again? Even Sherlock Holmes didn’t know…

Batou had entered the classroom in a fit. He was jumping off the walls with excitement and seemed very lost to the current time, dressed in 1940’s military clothing. Seigi followed with the enthusiasm of a stereotype cow eating grass, drumming rather well. Sherlock Holmes again peeked from his newspaper. Suddenly, Batou stopped right in front of Mitchell, while at the same time freaking out the class enough to make their faces distort wildly.

“MITCH-SAN!” He yelled abruptly, “I accuse you of charges against the school for the harassment of a senior teacher, standing up to the principal and poor conduct to superiors! That’s treason to the school! I’m placing you under arrest!”

“Hey now, chill out there suck up!” CJ pronounced, “He helped me cross the border! I ain’t gonna let my amigo get jacked by the police!”

“I knew it was him…” Sherlock Holmes concluded reading his newspaper.

“Batou, what do you want?” Ken spoke in a temper.

“I’ve come to stop the uprising of an American! Japanese schools belong to the Japanese!”

Batou then whipped out an air pistol from his pocket and aimed it at Mitchell’s forehead. He was dead on and serious. Everyone in the room but Seigi gasped.

“Surrender yourself Mitch-san!”

“Mitchell kept his cool under the pressure and tilted the gun away from him. He grinned as usual and got right up to Batou’s face and whispered:

“Guns lead to bad things. Please put the toy down.” Mitchell smiled and proceeded to pull the gun out of his hands. Batou gasped and was pushed away by Mitchell’s hand. Mitchell threw the air pistol in the trash and proceeded to return to his seat. But Batou jumped in front of him and became an obstacle.

“Who do you think you are Mitch-san?! You can’t just waltz into Hideki High like you own the place!”

“I’m sorry if I offended you, but that doesn’t mean you have to get so temperamental. Let’s talk this over and I think we can…”

“I don’t need your sympathy Mitch-san! I want you to stop annoying the students of Hideki High!”

Sakura got up and firmly told him, “What are you talking about Wacko? Mitch-san is cool.”

Everyone in the room nodded their heads in agreement.

“But, he’s an American! He’s fat and lazy, and he’s uh…”

“Hey! I’m proud to be an American!” CJ stood up barking at him, “So I’m fat, I’m lazy, so the president is a retard, so what!” Now CJ rose up to the desk, “That doesn’t mean I’ll let you call Mitch a Liberal, although I wish he was!”

People in the room became confused, even Batou was confused.

“CJ, you can sit down now…” Ken tugged his pants from where he was sitting. CJ noticed Ken and then looked back to everyone.

“What, don’t you guys know what a Liberal is?”

“CJ, there’s no such thing as Liberals in Japan.” Mitchell said smiling.

“Oh…” CJ went blank and then sat down. Everyone in the room seemed to be dreadfully confused to what Liberals were. Then, just as Batou was about to start rambling on, Mitchell covered his mouth with his hand and put a finger to his mouth, telling him to be quiet.

“You should stop annoying everyone trying to eat lunch.”

Batou blew Mitchell’s hand away and yelled:

“I’M NOT ANNOYING!”

The crowd of pupils together said:

“YES YOU ARE!”

“What did I tell you? Now, please leave everyone to eat peacefully okay?”

“Not until everyone sees the monster lurking in our own hallways!”

Batou charged Mitchell and Sakura, Niomi, Ken, Ayumi, and CJ went into cut scene gasping. As Batou was a few inches from him Mitchell grabbed Batou by the back of the shirt and raised him high in the air. Batou was dangling for his life by Mitchell’s strong arm.

“ACK! Mitch-san! I’ll get you, you punk!”

“I’d love to see you try.” Mitchell grinned as Batou was struggling to break free of Mitchell’s amazingly tight grip. CJ came to Mitchell and stared glaring at Batou. The room was silent.

“You know what?” CJ told Batou, with a smug look on his face, “You are a sad, strange little man.” Batou now became terrified of Mitchell and CJ.

“So Mitchell…what are we gonna do to him?” CJ became even smugger, as he circled Batou with mischievous plans for their victim.

“I say we let him go. He’s learned enough of a lesson, don’t you think?” Mitchell smiled and told CJ calmly.

“Stop being such a nice guy Mitch. He called you a Liberal.”

“Yeah, but look at him. He won’t do anymore harm to anyone now. He’s shaking for crying out loud.” Mitchell let him go and he fell hard on the ground, hurting himself while getting up. He got up in a fit, and grabbed Seigi’s unsuspecting arm.

“I’ll remember this Mitch-san! Don’t you forget!” He dashed out the door, “I’ll be back!”

A moment of silence occurred for a minute, and then Mitchell and CJ broke out in laughter. CJ fell in laughter and Mitchell laughed even harder when he saw CJ fall. Sakura, Niomi, Ayumi, and Ken stared blankly and confused at them.

“Guys…”Ayumi called to them, “What’s so funny?”

“It’s that retard!” CJ said still laughing

“He’s so funny! Did you see his face! He was like (gasp)”

“Dude! He was so frickin scared of you man! I don’t think Bush even has that kind of power! You made him wet his pants too!”

“I know, that’s why he’s a Liberal!”

CJ and Mitchell continued laughing hard until they both fell on the floor and after a while stopped laughing and sighed.

“Man that was funny. Now, back to my…” The chime of the bell ended lunch and CJ’s hopes of finishing his noodles. Both Mitchell and CJ got up, and they returned to the desks, fixing them and getting themselves ready for the next teacher. Hopefully, today’s experience helped persuade the students to understand them a bit better…
Comments (0)