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myOtaku.com: MilleniumRing
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
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Sunday, October 1, 2006
yoyoyo
yo, hehe, im better 2day, so dont mind my poem below......well, cyas.
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Saturday, September 30, 2006
was really feelin it a couple days ago........here's a poem i wrote.
When the thought of love comes to my mind,
The fire in my heart burns even more.
The thoughts of love spark my past,
But I really dont care.
The past is the past, I can't change it at all,
So why look back when I can just remember pain?
My hatred burns like the death flames of hell.
While I continue to redeem myself to the darkness.
Pride, my driving flame that was always there for me,
Is coming back, erasing what feelings held me back.
Love was nice, the feeling was good,
But what was really going on?
I loved someone, I loved him dearly,
I'd give my life for him given the chance.
He was the only one I cared for, in fact,
I even wrote with my blood, on stone, "I will not leave you".
But even though he said he loved me,
I was constantly stabbed in my heart, countlessly.
And my love for him began to shatter and break,
Especially when he didn't even want to live anymore.
It sickens me to relize that I actually thought I made him happy.
I thought I could save him, save my one and only love.
But it matters to me not, for the past keeps getting farther,
And the future is tomorrow, so preperations I do must.
Because no matter tough things had gotten,
I tried to stay with him, give him my heart.
But he has stabbed it too many times,
To the point where I could no longer stand for it.
Even though this may be how I feel,
My hatred isn't focused on him.
Maybe, deep down, past those hellish flames surrounding my heart,
My love for him silently remains; I don't know.
But I surely don't hate him, how could I? How could I blame him for this?
It's my fault for falling in love's damned web.
And then I had seemed to drag him with me.
This really makes me feel so pathetic.
But even if I try to mend the pain I've caused him,
There's no doubt that he holds some hatred for me.
He won't admit it, but I know it's there.
If he didn't, then he wouldn't want to end his life.
But I'm tired; tired of all my attempts.
I'll never get through to him, no matter what I do.
So I won't suffer anymore; love is the only spider I truly hate.
I'll break it's web; it will never imprison me again.
So these feelings will soon depart from me...
That's just what I need.
I wasn't meant for being with people, I'm just too cold and apathetic.
And maybe he was suffering more; I truly wish he'd tell me.
But it's time I return to being myself again.
Because that's all I could ever be and live as.
Neutral I will remain, back to my home, the darkness.
Back to close to no feelings at all.
But this is just the way it is with me.
And it's for the best, for the sake of the battle to come.
So I do apologize to those who still care for me,
But I don't regret a single move I'm about to make.
So to the unexperienced and those who are curious,
Love only brings great suffering.
....
yeeeeeeeeeeea, wrote this a couple of days ago. plz dont ask me if this is true or not. oh, and i'll b at a cookout 2day, so i wont b bak till 2morrow. cyas every1, ttyls ppls.
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Friday, September 29, 2006
heeeeeeeey ppls.
*sigh* im at the end of the line here. i think i just wasnt made 2 commune w/ ppl......2 normal ppl, i just, ya no, hang out w/ them. cuz ppl who only no me on the outside can get along w/ me fine......but i always harm those close 2 me. i just hav 2 many problems and hatred, i just dont no wat 2 do w/ it.........and the ones i care 4 end up w/ my burden. and thats not fair. thats y i try 2 make my friends avoid me.....so they dont hafta deal w/ me. now, i aint gonna go kill myself, i just c it that itd b better 4 every1 if i just stayed away from them......im better off alone.
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Stay with me (unlikely)-Celldwller
sick of this mind and the games it plays
mental enemies want to push me back again
here they come running wanting me up on that
tree crucified (wait a minute)
whatever words they say (me who said it)
whomever they betray (me who did it)
whenever they're awake it makes me die
there's so much on my mind
we're given so little time
there's no way to hold on as it passes by
so lead me into denial
help me forget for awhile
stay with me, please don't go
if you want to be alone
stay with me, please
i don't have much else to say (unlikely)
i'd rather you go away (unlikely)
i don't need something from you (unlikely)
though some say i will heal over time, it
doesn't seem too likely
it seems unlikely
This is one of my fave songs. It reminds me of someone.....
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Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Hey, is it just me.........
.....OR IS SCHOOL GETTING REALLY TIREING???!!!??!!
well, not really, its ok just there are times when i feel like my eyes r gonna close and i'll black out in class, hehe. but nm goin on, gotta get 2 practicing my violin 4 2 auditions. i hope i dont get all nervous and angsty like last time O.o i hate that, but oh well. well, cyas.
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Saturday, September 23, 2006
hey every1.
im reeeeeeeeeally bored right now. nm happenin, goin 2 a wedding l8tr :P. of joy. but i get 2 wear my short black dress.....my only dress, hehe. but i'll try visit every1's site while im still here. cyas ppls.
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Friday, September 22, 2006
hey ppls
its like, 5 somethin in the mornin right now, and im supposed 2 b on just 4 research. but screw that, nyahaha. i finished, just didnt find all i needed. i might post agin later on, depends on how the day went. well, ttyls. cyas ppls.
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Friday, September 15, 2006
hi's ppls.
nm goin on......found out i was smart cuz i passed the algebra hsa's, so they moved me 2 geometry....well, actually i requested that, but, hehe. but, other than that, nothin else.....my friends think i'm bi, and i dont think i am, but w/e. cyas ppls.
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
hi ppls.
doing better. still stressed, but doing better. i want 2 say sry 2 my friends. i dont wanna kill myself, and u ppls make me feel cool. and thats cool. i would die 4 u, seriously. well, i probably sound like gay preverted fag homo, so ill shut up now. cyas ppls. ttyls.
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006
hey every1.
well, nm goin on, in school i keep on being harassed by the guidance and school psy., but w/e. physically im healing quite well, but mentally......im falling apart. i dont wanna commit suicide, i just wanna die. wats the point in living if the person i love will always suffer? but my motivation 4 living is 2 c wat tomorrow will look like. otherwise, i'll continue 2 help my friends live sucessfully while i hide my pain and slowly die away. cyas ppls.
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