Wednesday, March 29, 2006

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming"
Mood: Sad

I'm sorry in advance. This is going to be an uncharacteristically sad entry. If you're not in the mood to hear my heartache, you can leave. I'll understand.

One of my friends decided that he wanted to distance himself from us (that is, my group of mostly otaku, on-the-fringes-of-society friends). He didn't say it in person or even very nicely. He posted it on his journal (not on myO, by the way) and said something like "If you think you're being ignored, you are. I'll start associating myself more closely with you once you return to normal or something like normal." Needless to say, that really, really hurt my feelings. I'm a sensitive person to begin with, but this was just uncalled for. He thinks he's the big shit because he got a prom date from the relatively popular/"normal" circle.

I can't help that I'm not normal. I tried to be when I was little, but I still failed miserably. People just know these things about you. In fact, the closest to "normal" I've gotten is being an otaku. At least I made friends, yanno? I've accepted it by now, but it doesn't mean that I don't get hurt when people say things like that. That's the worst excuse to stop associating with someone. "Becuase you're a weirdo." What hurts most is that it was so unexpected. He says he's been planning this for some time, but he just springs it on us suddenly. He didn't even tell us in person: He posted it on his journal a few days ago, then promptly began ignoring us. And he was one of my good friends, too. I'm (feebly) hoping that I misunderstood him. I'm not holding my breath. I shouldn't waste my tears on a jackass like him anyway, right?

Well...*watery smile* I finally thought of a pretty good new layout. The theme's still up in the air, but maybe I'll get bored of studying and update it. Not that I've been studying much, anyway. ^^;; I also want to become more active on myO, but it'll probably be awhile. I have a lot on my plate right now. (which is a way of saying that I'm really, really lazy).

Anyway, sorry for that again.
-MC