Friday, June 3, 2005

Never mind

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Sexyness: *puts her to sleep humanely* O.o

Suaveness: *nod nod*

Pyro: ... Imagine the complications =o (I'd love to see you make a post of what would happen if time took a nap.)

MC: I wish you well! Both with sleeping and exams!

Shimmy Shammy: *tilts head* That rings a bell of some sort but I can't help you out =\

Slick: Me too.

James: Thanks, heh. *gives him one of her sleeping pills*

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Thursday, June 2, 2005

  

My brain's all over the place and nowhere at the same time. Feeling utterly out of it today. Made many mistakes at work *embarrassed* and kids were going crazy over the chips/crisps sale we had (some bought 7 bags each O_O). Must finish post for Wonka Inc. Self esteem down to zero and am convinced it will end up sucky. Need energy to think positively. Will work it out somehow. Trout scare me. Bruised plenty enough *counts more than 5 bruises on herself* I can only remember getting one from walking into a door handle. Clumsy me. Explained yesterday evening about my mood to mom and sister. Useless. Funny how mom knows about psychology/how to handle stuffs and manages to deal with things so wrong. Ah well. Too tired to fiddle with it anymore. James: *bows* Shimmymaroo: *high fives* Annsie: *snuggles* John: Video store Hevn: *thinks of Man Flesh .... plenty* Lunai: *comforts* Badness: *poses* Slick: *shares band-aids and borrows some steamesteem* Blackjack: *gasp* Sexyness: *waves* Bachelor Beau: *blinks and pounces* Rustym: All gone.

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005

Will comment on comments later tonight.

Escaping the house to go see Star Wars on my own in Gothenburg. People are acting like I have no right to be angry and not understanding why I'm in a sour mood today. Writing down why and what makes me so upset. Don't know if it's even worth telling them since so far they've just gone "Aww, ok *runs over her again*". For those who worry that I'm going insane, it's only when things come to that boiling point at home. Other than that I'm fine. Which is good because otherwise I'd not have a job to go to =P Would rather visit Man Flesh of some description and forget about everything for a while. That's just one more request denied against my favour. Maybe I'm wishing for too much? Am I turning into a spoilt brat? I wonder. Maybe Alan will give me lessons on how to do it properly. 13.40-14.50 on the train, 15.15 movie began, 17.45 it ended and a mad dash to the trains began, 18.00 I was on my way back home and 19.20 I ran into an old classmate at the station in my town. We chatted a bit and she told me that her relationship had ended about 2 months ago. She'd been with this guy since she was 16 and they spent the last 4 years living with eachother =( But she was trying to get on with her life and look forward. I've thought before about asking her to join me for a cup of coffee or something but never did. She's such a sweet gal and easy to be around. Yesterday's comments Annie: *snuggles* Funny how things that are fun are usually the things that cost much =( Hevn: Tempt him with some fine Man Flesh ;p Hehe, it sure is a nice turtle =D Sara: *agrees* I mean, it's fine if people want to be gay but it'd be nice to know so you could save yourself the trouble of crushing on them XD;;; You're such a lovable dorky *huggles tight* Pyro: Shhh, don't use the word "save". My theory is that if I don't spend money without saying that I'm saving, then I'll be able to save money... Yes. Anyway. Hmm, sometimes images will be broken because of bandwith or something, I think =( second batch 3 Chikas: *huggles you all tightly and shares ice-cream* Today's comments Alana: "You dirty, dirty---". Sorry, Bridget Jones stuck a little too well XD EJ: *laughs* R2D2 was the highlight of the movie =) Animegrl101: That's comforting to know. Azure: I wish I could hate you but I can't *gropes him instead* >:| SammyJoe: Hey, don't apologise *hugs back* You take care now =) Tony: Be afraid. Be very afraid. (Gotta love the cheesy lines!) Akamaru: I don't like yelling >> Not when others do it and my throat closes up when I need to ^_^;;; Lunai: Noooo need for apologies *hugs* As long as you're still there it's all good =) Pyro: *hugs and promises to give you popcorn when the movie 'date' rolls around* Good thing I don't have your phonenumber or I'd be constantly bugging you to set me straight, lol. At least we've got the comment system here for that =P I seriously value what you've got to say =) Slick: *laughs* You're too sweet! I hope the movie is good and that you enjoy it plenty ^__^ Also hope that the car is seviced properly >> Sexyness: Boo for sucky days *hugs* Just be extra happy when you get a happy day and everything's square =)

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Anger Management

I seriously don't know if my parents are actually trying to mess with my brain and mess me up further. We had two viewings today, I went out to work out afterwards because there'd be no more people around today (and it was after 8 PM).

It should probably also be pointed out that I'm PMS'ing.

So when mom comes out to say there's someone coming 'round to have a look at the house I think my parents are considerate enough to let me finish...... NO. I'm practically thrown out mid-training.

I figure I'll just cool down with a shower but then realize that maybe they've not toured the garden yet and I don't feel like showing off my naked self through the bathroom window. Then there's the fact that things I need aren't in their usual place and at this point I was beyond furious so it's not like I was about to ask where it could be found now and I couldn't punch any walls because then they'd wonder what was going on and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

And mom's still not helped me wax my legs. She's paid as little attention to me as possible. Nice. Why don't I just go drown myself now and spare you the sight of me falling into darkness, hm?

Oh, and the most ironic part is that we're doing all this for me. Because the guy that tried to rape me always comes back to this town after his jail time. At this point I'd rather put up with him being around than feeling like my existence isn't worth the dirt I walk on.

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Sorry about that but it needed to come out and I'm a bit calmer now that I've written it down. I just want and need and can't get anything.

*goes hunting for people to play Literati with*

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It takes time

Ehehehe, the first viewing yesterday was rather interesting. Like I mentioned it was the mother of an old classmate of mine and she brought one of her kids with her, namely the son. The last time I saw him he was this stuck-up kid who tried too hard to be special but now he's matured into a humble young man. Funny thing was when I stretched out my hand to greet him (as you do in civilized society) he came in for a hug .... which kinda stunned me/made me blush because I seriously wasn't expecting him to do that ^_^;;; But he'd hugged my younger sister (whom he went to class with) so that made me feel more comfortable with it, haha. He's grown a lot since I last saw him and obviously looks more like an adult instead of a bratty runt, lol. For those of you who wonder if there was any Man Flesh potential in him *glances at Ger* I will say that he's got these amazingly sweet, gentle brown eyes and a very nice smile. But he falls more into the "G.B.F" (Gay Best Friend) category than "M.F.P" (Man Flesh Potential). Anyway, my sister and I went for a walk after the first viewing, hoping to take long enough to get home when the second viewing was over. They were a bit late, though, so we lounged in the sofa and giggled quietly when listening to their conversation with mom and dad (at one point I thought the mother said "My daughter dates a retarded boy" when in fact she said the last name of the boy that just sounded a lot like the word for retarded *laughs*). I was so bushed by the time they left that I had to take two aspirins (my head and joints ached). But it went pretty well. We've got two viewings today and another one tomorrow. My sister and mom plans to go shopping for a couple of hours today (before the viewings) and I don't know if I should go with them or just rest up as much as possible. Not going also means not spending money >> In other news, I changed around the intro a little bit. The comics might not be to everyone's taste but I'm not twisting anyone's arms to visit the links, so nyah =P Annie: Gwar, there is that delicate balance between distracting yourself and plain out losing yourself in work ;_; Will try my best to keep the balance! *hugs* Suaveness: I winked one time with each eye, haha *snuggles* Busy bees get more honey ... or something >>;; DDG: O.o *puts electronic tags on every single item she has* I'll be sure to think about that when we start moving =\ *hugs* Shabamz: *giggles* I cannot escape the adorability passed on to me! But that's cool ;p Hey, I didn't say alcohol was a bad thing so if people want to drink it then they should. It's just not for me. Yet ^_^ Azure: Haha, now it's your turn to confuse me. "You know, the one about the lips? ;)" <-- Can't say I get what you're saying ^_^; But yeah, it'll get better even when things get worse =P Slick: XD!!! It made me laugh, how's about that? *hugs* Thanks for lightening the mood =) Tony: The spirit shall always live on, in one way or another *high five*

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Monday, May 30, 2005

It's a long way to Tipperary

Phew, I locked myself in my room last night and avoided everyone. Trying to talk about how things felt/were going would've just made things more disasterous anyway, haha. Got a decent nights' sleep and spent my work day feeling utterly out of it/lost. By the time I got home I dove straight into helping out with moving tv's around, vacuumed my bedroom floor and made dinner for myself. We've got two viewings of the house today, one of the people is actually an old classmates' mom, which is kind of odd. There's probably 2-3 more sets of people that are scheduled to view the house within the week so we'll see what comes out of it. I'm ok now, just very tired. Still want to jump on a plane, heh. Good thing I don't drink alcohol/do drugs, because I'd imagine it'd be impossible for me to kick that addiction if I can't even move past this one >> Then again, alcohol and drugs ain't got nothing on that sweet portion of Man Flesh. Commentary commenting! James: Wanting the best is such a hassle at times ;_; Maybe you'll stumble upon a sextastic pair one day =) Slick: *sings songs with words in them* "More than words", "It's only words" ... Can't think of more, lol. Even though you didn't use many words I could still read the very long message you put into it =) *hugs* Pyro: *snuggles* That's super generous of you but not needed, though the thought is keeping me warm and fuzzy -^_^- Suaveness: *pounces* Life's a bitch sometimes and we can't neuter it =( Bat your eyelashes at someone and maybe you'll get those headphones ~_^ I can't imagine anyone would say no to you ;)

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Sunday, May 29, 2005

*shrug*

Mmmm, used my MP3 player for the first time yesterday and it managed to divert my attention from my mood while I biked to the videostore to return the movies. Last time I tried to bike with music streaming in my ears it was a very disoriented experience. This time it was amazingly wonderful. Funny that. The sound is pretty good, it looks easy enough to use but I'd really like to get a hold of a pair of new headhpones (and I'm using my old ones instead of the silly things they sent with the player). Solo had these spiffy headphones that are nowhere to be found in Sweden, sadly, and I don't know if Solo's had a chance to have a look for me but here's what they look like. (Well, out of all the choices available on the website, those are the ones I'd like to buy.) It's times like these that remind me of the usefulness of having a credit card .... and also how much more money I'd spend if I had one, lol. Mom asked me to come along to view an apartment today (since she "trust my judgement more than her own" and that's just another thing that adds up to how irrational people are being about the moving thing) so it looks like I'll have to go with her and dad. It does mess up my day quite a bit, which I'm not too happy about. But if it's between stopping mom from making a rash decision and having a Sunday to spend as I want to.... yeah. *prepares herself for the journey* EDIT: Well, we looked at two apartments. The first one had room for all three of us, needed some work done decoration-wise, and the kitchen + bathroom were scheduled to be worked on. So that one would have to wait until September, if we went for it. The second one only had room for two people and it was in the same apartment building as my younger sisters' apartment. Mom fell head over heals in love with it. Now, by this time I'm exhausted and ready to just go home (since this one had to be moved into uber speedily and we'd agreed that that wasn't on the agenda for us) but mom completely ignored that afterwards, when we had gone back to my sisters apartment, going on about how great it is and how we could arrange it for us to live there. Her hysteria about moving there is really making me furious right now. We had agreed on doing this properly after the summer, not 2 weeks after I'd begun my working rehabilitation. If the "move move MOVE QUICKLY" had been on the agenda then obviously I'd never have started anything up here, but I have and she obviously can't get it into her head that I'm not about to start over AGAIN within a very short period of time. Oh joy, now I'm crying. I knew this would happen and that's why I didn't want to go. The stress has kept me from resting/sleeping enough, no one's paid attention to me unless it's to win me over on their side of arguments/whatever and today it felt like plans were being made for me ("She can do this and that") without even acknowledging that it's MY decision what I end up doing. As if my problems aren't important enough and can be "fixed" easily enough. Yeah, that's worked a real treat in the past *rolls eyes* They're really not making this any easier on me and this time I was pushed too far. I really needed today to gather up some energy and start next week fresh, but that plan obviously failed. God, I wish I could come over to you right now. Or turn back the clock to 4 years ago and stay in bed that morning. Neither is very plausible to actually do, though. Heh. I'd really appreciate if you all could avoid talking to me about this if you see me on AIM. Just offer to play Literati with me or talk about how things are going in your life or whatever you can think of that doesn't have to do with moving. Thanks.

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Saturday, May 28, 2005

Knew the signs Wasn't right I was stupid for a while Swept away by you, And now I feel like the fool. So confused, my heart's bruised, Was I ever loved by you? Out of reach, so far, I never had you heart, Out of reach, couldn't see, We were never meant to be. Catch myself from despair, I could drown if I stay here, Keeping busy every day, I know I will be okay. But I was So confused, my heart's bruised, Was I ever loved by you? Out of reach, so far, I never had your heart, Out of reach, couldn't see, We were never meant to be. So much hurt, so much pain, Takes a while to regain what is lost inside, And I hope that in time, you'll be out of my mind. I'll be over you. But now I'm So confused, my heart's bruised, Was I ever loved by you. Out of reach, so far, I never had your heart, Out of reach, couldn't see, We were never meant to be. Out of reach, so far, You never gave your heart, In my reach, I can see, There's a life out there for me. ("Out of reach" sung by Gabrielle, part of the first Bridget Jones movie soundtrack.) The first movie was a bit sharper than the second one, I felt. It's always a bit weird to start a sequel on a happy note, heh. Shimmy Shammy: I'll probably look at it tonight, seeing as there might be someone around tomorrow to view the house. Dr Strangelove must be a good movie, what with Peter Sellers being in it *nods* Hevn: Noooo, you don't suck. It just sucks that you didn't get to see them, is all *hugs* Slick: Looks like the movie shall be enjoyable by the number of people speaking well of it =o And I had to let Vader off the hook easy too, hehe. "Coat hanger". Sexyness: IT WAS QUEEN ASUKA THAT STARTED THE DATING TEST-THING-A-MAJINGER. There =] Tony: Fascinating. No really, I mean it. Maybe I'll Google it after all, or if you could direct me in a general direction and spare me the effort? Sennen: The one where he lasers off the cleaners' mop actually had me giggle a little bit. Aaaawww, you killed Vader with your sweet youthful innocence. Well done *gives him cookie, a Hustler magazine and a ticket to Las Vegas* Molly: *snuggles* You lovely lass of goodlyness. Be sure to treat yourself lots and be safe *hugs* What's Guild Wars all about, anyway?

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Friday, May 27, 2005

Something my younger sister 'guided' me to: - Fun with Vader - I got my glasses back today. Wasn't cheap to fix them but it wasn't as expensive as getting completely new glasses. Also got an MP3 player I ordered 2 days ago and dad expressed interest in it, which doesn't surprise me since he buys crap ones >>; Took advantage of my perks at work today and rented the two Bridget Jones movies (on DVD) because I need something to sit back and relax watching. No horror for me this weekend. Next week they're getting Phantom of the Opera and I might just snag that one. Dad also came into work (twice) today. Once to tell me he was going to put an ad in the paper about our house (which subsequently made me want to kick him because I want to keep my workplace happy and not have it tainted with stressing thoughts about moving) and the second time was to give me the slip of paper to fetch my MP3 player. He played it nice though, so I was nice in return. Solo: *blinks* *tilts head* *blinks some more* Purity and prudishness is not really the same thing in my mind. Purity is when you're not aware of the more 'nasty' side of life and prudishness is when you're fully aware of it and abhor it. But yeah, prudisnhess to excess is silly. Everyone's entitled to be a little bit prudish but when it goes to galactic levels I'm wondering if they're just fighting off their own desires or something. *hugs* SammyJoe: Yay for Quizzes! Thanks. Badness: <-- Need I say more? No, I should think not *high five* Lunai: Oooo, I am surprised, actually. Slick: Mmmm, nice salute you gave there. Ehum. MC: Much like the Dark side of the Force, you have to give in now and then >> EDIT: I'll get to seeing Lost in Translation this weekend. Looks like I'm in the mood for it. Also, when randomly contemplating today I realized that I don't know anything about the origins of the 7 deadly sins. The 'when, where and who' stuff (because obviously I know what they're about). Googling for it is so impersonal and would probably just lead to quizzes, so does anyone want to edumacate me?

Your dating personality profile: Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters. Wealthy/Ambitious - You know what your goals are and you pursue them vigourously. Achieving success is important to you.

Your date match profile: Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Practical 3. Wealthy/Ambitious 4. Athletic 5. Liberal 6. Religious 7. Traditional 8. Adventurous 9. Sensual 10. Shy

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Practical 3. Religious 4. Traditional 5. Funny 6. Athletic 7. Shy 8. Adventurous 9. Conservative 10. Intellectual

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

(Because everyone else has done it by now, haha. I like my results, they're interesting enough. I'm guessing the 'Religious' came so high up because I appreciate people who have values and some sort of moral code *shrugs*)

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Thursday, May 26, 2005

I know it's treachery -- I know it's just skin deep -- I know I should resist -- I'm just too tired, too tired

You scored as Virgin/Romantic. Virgin 85% A Romantic 85% Sex God 75% A Slave To BDSM 15% How are you in bed created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Not so clean. You're not what I'd call pure, but you're not too dirty. That's okay... I guess? Not so clean 80% Complete Filth 40% Pure and Innocent 20% Pedofile 0% How dirty is your mind? created with QuizFarm.com 25th of May Shimmy Shammy: And you do the 'grouchy thang' so swell *bows* Azure: My legs are now bruised from all the kicking ... I bet the bad mood is comatose by now. Slick: Anvil battery, huh? Sounds like something you might get arrested for. "Yesterday a young adolescent was charged with assault against an anvil. The youngster pleaded innocent, blaming the incident on Battery." Shabams: *snuggles* You're a darling, sweetheart. Rustym: Where there is life, there is hope. Even more so if you've got a DVD and the Star Wars trilogy. Sexyness: Right on. *hugs* 26th of May Tony: =) Slick: It means girls will want to touch you, since you're soft? Hm, right now I don't look too good in my top (a bit swollen) but give me a week or so and I'll have pictures *nods* Oddly enough, I've never had Mentos.... but I've seen plenty of commercials for them. Azure: *blinks* It's because I don't know if Cassiato comes by here, but I still wanted to give some sort of message that said "Yay you" and that seemed to fit the bill. Because one of the commercials for Mentos (authentic one) is with a guy wearing a black suit. He sits down on a newly white-painted bench, cue "Oh noez, what to do?". The answer is, of course, to take a Mentos and then roll around on the bench until the suit looks like it's pinstriped. Problem gone! So basically it reminded me of your situation and yeah *gestures* Oh by the way, thanks for the Literati games. It's always great to play against you. Liam: *comforts* It's ok. He only comes out during puberty... Maybe you should make a run for it, just in case?

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