Wednesday, July 21, 2004

- Sail on silvergirl - Edited
When the mail arrived this morning, so did my copy of "The Last Samurai". I knew it would be released today but it was a surprise to find it shipped out and delivered also. A very nice surprise.

My rantings about the movie has even made mom want to see it, parts of it anyway. And my dad, who didn't want to join me either of the 3 times I saw it in the theatres, expressed that he'd give it a go. He gave some weird reasoning, which I forgot the second after.

Anyway, having the DVD loaded in my player means that it's one less thing to wait for. As good as I am at waiting for things, it's nice to not have to.


In other news, yesterday I found out that my older sister hasn't been doing well at all lately. It's been evident by just looking at her, but hearing her break down really made it more clear. And I can't do anything. Except for feeling really sad and muted. So I shut down and play video games and make the days pass.

And for every new day there is a tomorrow, hopefully one of them will be better.

EDIT
My mom's a very perceptive woman, with a very keen psychological radar. Her stance on love is very realistic and to be perfectly honest ... depressing. Mostly because what she knows and says is true, and the marriages of both my sisters have done nothing to offer a different angle. This is somewhat painful for me, considering my ‘innocent’ views.

I know that it's somewhat of a joke about my innocence and such, but I really [really] want to keep the idea that love can be wonderful and right. Not to say that I'm completely blind to everything that's not positive, just that … if love comes to me, I want to welcome it. So the idea of finding someone (and introducing them to my mom in one way or another) is tainted with a slight apprehension. I don't want to look into her eyes and see that painful expression of ‘my daughter's found someone who's going to ruin her life’ because with her piercing accuracy, more likely than not, the likelihood of that would feel close to absolute. No one wants to have that blissful feeling questioned once it happens. At the same time I'd love to show her that it can be different for me, that there are exceptions to the rule.

But that whole idea is based on the assumption that I could meet someone, which leads me to think about that. Never a good idea. Essentially one negative thought spins into several others and then it all spirals beyond control. The current situation doesn't make things better when I hit ‘thinking mode’. Though, in some warped sense, all of these negative influences fuel my resistance towards everything. It seems the worse it gets, the more determined I am to hold strong to my ‘ideals’.


Looking back on what's just been written down … I'm not sure it makes any sense. Still, it needed to come out and that's what this place is for. Today was just an ‘off’ day and I will be fine :)

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

- I think your plan sucks -
Yesterday I beat FFX-2 for what seems to be the first of many, many times. The funny thing was .... my younger sister then asked if she could do the end on her save, to see if it looked different. So we got her memory card, hooked it up (not removing mine) and she made her way to [insert place]. Since there was some levelling up done before taking on the final boss, she decided to save ...

Now, she was a bit hasty and didn't think about moving the cursor down to the second memory card, so before anyone could react .... she had accidentally overwritten my file.

At this point I can hear you all gasping and screaming out in horror at this, maybe wondering how I dealt with the loss of my file.... Well, I laughed. A lot. My sister just sat there and moaned, feeling terrible about what she'd done. Which made me laugh more.

You see, I had saved just before the big finish, but then I saved the complete file on another slot. Don't ask me why I did that (my sister even pointed out the ridiculousness in doing so) but it meant that it's just a matter of replaying the end and I'll still have the same file. So nothing was lost really ^_^

After reassuring my sister that she wouldn't be slain for her slip up, we continued having a blast the rest of the evening :D


Then during the night I had yet another dream with a fellow MyO/OB'er in it. Good thing they're never nightmares :p I'm glad I remembered it when I woke up.

*gives in and vogues quickly*

What I don't do for you guys ~_^

(that doesn't mean I agree with your 'seductive' claims :p)
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Sunday, July 18, 2004

- Stares out yonder window -
First off I want to thank everyone who commented so brilliantly on the last post.
You gave me some great giggles there, lol. I humbly deny being seductive or anything like that though *blushes and winks*

Secondly I'd like to apologise to Shin for not ripping apart his stories yet ;p
I promise to get 'round to it, I just want to make sure you've got a good headstart.
And also to those who've signed my guestbook. I'll get around to returning the favour shortly. Promise.... Same thing with anything else I might've forgotten or neglected to do that I was supposed to. Feel free to remind me ^_^;

Thirdly my eyes are sore from playing FFX-2 most of the day. I blame the sunscreen slipping into my eyes >_>;

Forthly .... *stares at screen for a good 10 minutes* ..... Well that didn't work.

Does anyone have any questions ?

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Saturday, July 17, 2004

Vision in pink and purple
... well, not really. But I am wearing my super-duper comfy pajama bottoms and a nice top, complementing each other with their pink/purple-ness. I'm not really sure if it's a light purple or dark pink, though I guess it doesn't matter as long as they're comfy :p

I upped the biking to 20 minutes today and did a few more sit-ups (my tummy is still soft ~_^). It feels good to break into a sweat. Taking a long shower afterwards is even nicer. And somewhere along the line this post went from perfectly innocent to dirty *cough*

Oh well, if we're taking that road I might as well mention that I bought some panties on my last shopping 'spree' and up until today hadn't actually tried them on, out of fear they wouldn't fit (which they did *bounce*). Before you start picturing racy underwear I'll burst the bubble by saying they're all plain cotton undies. Boring - yes. Innocent - absolutely. So it's all in keeping :p

If anyone's questioning why I'm not buying Victoria's Secret lingerie, then .... uhm ... it's because I don't see any reason for it.... Voilà ^_^;....

*does an evasive maneuver and darts away*
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Friday, July 16, 2004

- Snooze -
*drags herself out of bed and taps away at the keyboard*

It took all of yesterday to arrange a flight and book a hostel. Most of the communication between my sister and I took place over MSN...... *prolongs pause* .......

..... We're sitting in the same house, mere seconds from each other and we're doing most of it over MSN ..... *stops being silly* It was probably a good thing, because at the end of it I was sooo frustrated.

First of all I had to chase after her and demand that we decide for definite what date we would go (which changed the moment I was sure it was 'signed-sealed-delivered' *sings* ... errr) how long we'd stay and where we would be staying (that also changed... multiple times). It's barely 3 weeks until we're supposed to be in London and nothing had been sorted, even though we've been 'planning' for weeks and months ! Can anyone blame me for getting annoyed ? No. And if you do, you'll be buried with the doorknob -_-

She wasn't being completely useless though, I'll give her that. A lot of good information was dug out thanks to her, which hopefully makes the trip more enjoyable. Still, it would've been nice to have less of a hassle so close to 'takeoff'.


Since it's impossible to get anything out of her I have no idea why she took so long to get her ass in gear. It could be that she didn't actually have money to book anything (because after I offered to cover expenses until she got money it started to move very quickly) or that she wanted to sort out what day she could meet up with her husband and friends.

I don't know and right now I don't care. The important areas have been covered, the rest of the griping can wait for a day or two.


Biking around with my younger sister has been infinitely more fun, even though our brains sometimes fritz when trying to find a certain street. It also gives us a perfect avenue to quote a favourite movie (sorry if I muck it up):

" Let's follow that trail! "

" What trail? "

" The trail ... that we blaze! "

" ..... "

" That trail that we blaze! "

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Thursday, July 15, 2004

Cardiac arrest - no bail [Edited twice... make that thrice]
And so it has been revealed who will play "Hattori Hanzo" and "The Daughter/Kyoko" in the acclaimed RPG "Kill Adam" over at OB. I'll admit to have only skimmed through the Hanzo sign-ups, but I really agree with James' decision to go with Malkav for Kyoko. That was some sign-up.

Oh, just to make absolutely sure everyone is absolutely clear about this: I am not the least bit disappointed for not getting in. In actuality (sorry James) I'm really glad I can keep my part as a reader. My sign-up was done on that premise, which isn't to say I didn't put in any effort towards trying to land the role. It was posted with the intention of being good enough to possibly be accepted.

The thing is, it was pretty clear that most (if not everyone) would turn Kyoko into some kind of Go-Go character. I'm not an experienced writer and can't really pull off things I know little/nothing of, so creating a crazy character wasn't something I felt I could do well. It would've just come out really goofy and … wrong. So instead I took a more plain approach, just to offer something different ^_^

It was a good experience and I got/get the most out of it, so it's all happy faces in this camp :D

Travelness
Yesterday I got fed up over my sisters' evasiveness every time I've brought up the trip and the stuff we have to organize (plane ticket, somewhere to sleep, etc). But instead of dropping it altogether or getting furious, I decided to really push her by demanding some sort of feedback (ie conclusive ideas/answers) and not back down when she got all vague on me. It seems to be working but it shouldn't have been necessary. Either way, it's the result that counts and almost everything is being taken care of *sighs*

*almost has a heart attack*
My sister just came in and tried to change the date just when we'd decided on a definite date …. *twitch* Seriously. Ugh.

*goes back to post*
Something else that's been taken care of (and properly, might I add *cough*) is my bike. Dad brought it home from the shop today and turns out it was close to falling apart O_O;;; It was fixable though and should run just fine now ^_^ No scraping to death here !


Ends with commenting on comments
Pyro: Colds are a good excuse for a lot of things, too bad they really bite dirt when it comes to fun *notes remedy*

Becky: Haha, well considering how slobby I dressed in the mornings … it'd have had to been a very unique kind of adorable ;p
*goes giddy over Naruto*

DDG: I shall ! *watches Naruto obsessively* >__>;;

Juuthena: Nooo, don't bring that thing back from the dead--- from the garden, I mean *cough*
You know, there are so many different tips one gets about exercising when having a "schnitzel" but since your dad's a neurobiologist ~_^

Chie: 5 times ?! Ugh. Here, have these earplugs *hands over a shiny new pair* You'll need them more than me.

Baaaaarrrooooon: Nooooo, not you too *huddles close to him and tries to snatch his medication* Let us be cute together, lol.

HC: Haha, thanks for the advice. The only time I've drunk alcohol is when a stomach bug travels in my family. Then, and only then, will I take a small medicine cup of "Underberg". It kills off any and all bacteria, which isn't surprising considering the nastyness of that stuff *cringe* Apart from that I'm not really into alcohol, surprisingly enough. Everyone else in my family will enjoy a beer or some wine, but I'll stick to milk, water and apple juice :p

Charmi: Yes, the idea of me drunk is rather … odd. Besides, my entire body is full of natural chemicals that are more than capable of giving me effects similar to alcoholic intoxication :p


*goes back to trying to keep track of her sister*

EDIT: This is where I stayed on my first visit to London, back in 1997. Eeeesh.

EDIT 2: It's 20 minutes left of this day and I can't wait for it to be over. If I have nightmares tonight ... I'll bury myself under my covers and sleep throughout tomorrow.... with chocolate. Lots of it. *steals huggles from everyone*

EDIT 3: And 5 minutes later it's all been worth it *smiles silly and falls asleep promptly*
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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

[Yesterday did however end *very* nicely ^_^]
It's amazing how many different ways there are to be woken in the morning. For instance, you can be roused from your pleasant dreams at 5 am when your older sister gets ready for work. Maybe a second time when your dad gets ready for work at 6.30. (Then you'll have trouble getting back to sleep since he's left his alarm clock on and it goes off just as he's left the house, forcing you to leave your comfy bed to turn it off. This all feels like deja vu naturally, because it happened the day before as well.) To top it all off you're woken by the horrible sound of the doorbell at 9 am, by a man who wants two papers but have already found them by the time you come to answer the door.

*moment of composure*

I just don't like broken sleep. Especially not with 2 hour intervals and when I'm sick.

Speaking of which, I'm sorry if I scared you with the post, Angel *hugs* It was very much out of character and it was supposed to. Sort of an exercise to write differently and another attitude, along with some mental slapping to get out of my insecurity. Not to mention I was cut short due to the thunderstorm, so it probably came off even weirder than if I had had a chance to do it properly ^_^;


Ugh, I really thought the cold would be gone today but it's not. So it's used as a form of entertainment instead, because it sounds to funny when I talk :p
Vitamins, food and water is taken in, plenty, so it should die down soon.


My sister went out on her 'paper delivery' today again and I joined her (again). The weather was nice (cloudy and windy, though the sun showed itself for a while) and we found most of the addresses without a problem. Though I actually got her a bit lost when it came to one letterbox that was on my old paper route *dies of embarrassement* But in my defence I would like to say that it's been 3 years since I was in that neighbourhood and I remember the houses more than the street names. It turned out alright anyway.

A funny thing that happened while we were biking around (trying to find the street):
Imagine if you will a hedge. It stretches rather high up to the sky and you can't see what's behind it. Then picture me, biking swiftly along it and, upon reaching the end of it, exclaiming a very loud and happy 'Wheeee'. All very harmless, right ? Well, what I didn't notice was that an old lady stood in her garden (which was right behind the hedge, to my right), who didn't see me until I emerged from behind the hedge.

I mean, the timing was just so perfect. A young girl appears out of nowehere, dashes by, whee-ing as she does so. It was impossibly not to break out into a fit of laughter, but I managed to hold it back until we got some distance between us and her.... Hopefully the old lady didn't have a heart attack >__>;;;

And as usual I got 'sentimental' about not being a paper girl. It's silly how much I miss that job, heh.

Something we noticed both today and yesterday, was that my bike sounded really weird. It was this really high clanging noise, as if the front would fall apart and make me tumble to the ground, scraping myself to death O_o
Dad met us before we headed home and he suggested I have someone look at it. The guy who took it in listened to the sound and said that something was falling apart, or breaking off (something to that effect) O_O;;; ..... It's getting fixed though and my body is scrape free *sighs*


Naruto time !
*huggles everyone*
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Ngh
I am going to kill the doorbell and bury it in the backyard !!! ......

*looks at people staring at her*

I'll also replace this post later ...

*goes to get breakfast*

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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

- Beep beep -
Ok, so I feel a little bit better now that a few hours have gone by (huge sweatdrop appear over her head when looking at previous post) and decided it was enough to do some light biking on the .... bike. Is there a special name for a bike you bike on indoors, just for exercise ?

But yeah, did that and it was fine. Don't worry about me overdoing it. Most of the day was spent lazing in bed anyway, since there was a thunderstorm that wouldn't go away... and kept coming back -_-;;;;

Thanks for wishing me well, it really makes me feel a lot better, a lot quicker ^_^ *gives Panda a special hug and hopes the 'getting betterness' rubs off*

*drinks water, because Juuthena says so* ... *and it keeps me on her good side when I misbehave* >___>


Right, about the story I read last night (that Sarah linked me to in a comment).
At first it seemed to be just a decent fanfiction, but as I read on ... it became more and more real. Like I could believe what I was reading. It was surreal, but good :)


Mmmm, my feet are clean and my sister is going to draw them for me. Hehe ^_^
You see, a while back she showed me this drawing (she's really good at it) of a foot (hers, as it turns out). Apparently she had been bored one day, lacked inspiration to draw anything from her imagination, looked down at her foot and drew that, lol.
It came out really cool and I thought it'd be fun to have a drawing of my own foot/feet *shrugs and smiles*

*skips about and huggles everyone in sight*

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Clammy hands O.o

[Dilerious fever rant]
I wanted to be daring and ask Solo if we two could fly over to Anime Expo next year (seeing as how he's not too fond of flying), because it'd be an adventurous thing to do and I don't mean just flying over the world and meet weird-- great people, but to ask someone to do something with me would be extraordinary courageous on my part and he beats me to my idea by saying he's going [insert sound effect of balloon emptied of air] which isn't really upsetting, since I could just ask if I could tag along, but it's the principal of the matter. Or something like it. The fact that it annoys me I'd never gather the nerve to ask has nothing to do with it. Really.

[/Dilerious fever rant]
My, that was a pathetic rant. It pales in comparison to Shin's. Speaking of Rant Master S, the bastard has added a new chapter to "The Seven Year War" and put up the beginnings of a new story, "Beyond the Stars and Sky". I tell you, the abysmal indignation of it all is appalling. Yes.

I shall retaliate by nitpicking his latest endeavour. It will be an atrocious and malicious attempt to make him a better writer. Not to mention it will make him cower. That's the best part.


[Yes, I'm still sick. Lying in bed and taking it easy gets boring after a while, which I'm sure today's post is a great testimony to >_>;
Please don't take anything too seriously, because this post was halfwritten last night as I was trying to fall asleep and I'd spent a couple of hours reading the story Sarah linked me to (thank you).

I've read what's been written in "Beyond the Stars and Sky" and have a few things to say, but not until I feel a bit better. You have been warned Shin ~_^]


Now, my hands are a bit clammy and I want to wipe them on someones shirt.
Because it's a fun and quasi-evil thing to do >:D

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