Thursday, July 8, 2004

Sideway smile
Kweh !

I did a mini shopping round today and [while browsing a store] I saw a skirt that looked pretty. My initial (and somewhat compulsary) thought was "I'm too fat to even think about trying it on". I had even put it back and turned to continue my window shopping, when it dawned on me that ... well... that it isn't true anymore...
I guess. Heh.

So I decided to chance it and took two sizes, went to the dressing room (*gasp* No, don't go in there ! :o *shriek*) and tried the bigger size on first. Lo and behold....
it was too big O.o
Feeling daring, I tried the smaller size on.... which was a teensy weensy bit too tight (anyone else would've said 'perfect', but I like a little space to be able to fully breathe) O_O

Conclusion: I need to either gain a little weight (not happening) or lose/tone a little bit more, because right now I'm stuck right in between two sizes. Anything that's too tight could be money wasted if I gain more weight. And anything that's too big will look awful on me if more weight is lost....

.... I love having this problem *giggles and hides from angry mob*
Something that really scared me though, was that I looked at myself in those awful mirrors in the changing room and .... for the first time in my whole life, I didn't regret it.

*cuts to commercial while she gets emotional*

In all seriousness though, I... am weirded out by this. The image that's been me for so long, the excuses that's worked this long, are as close to gone as they can be.
A part of me feels guilty for reaching this point, while another is terrified and a small fraction is grinning proudly. It's all very conflicted, poor me :p


Bah, sorry. I really want to take pride in what I've accomplished, but it feels so silly. It's not a cure for cancer I've found, just a doorway to a place where I'm happy about myself *soppy smile*

*hugs everyone*
EDIT: I just heard Viggo Mortensen speak Danish and it was surreal *blinks* Yes, I know of his heritage and that he's fluent in the language... but to hear him speak *blinks again* 'Twas cool, but I prefer his drawly American accent ;p

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Wednesday, July 7, 2004

Arf
So I went with my parents to the town in which the store that sold "The Last Samurai" is situated. Since I wasn't in any rush to get to the store, they decided to swing by a couple of other places first. I hadn't had dinner before we left (bad idea) and my bloodsugar levels sank pretty quickly, so I stayed in the car most of the time.
When we finally get to the store, the DVD is nowhere to be found.... Dad asks a clerk where they've put it and is told that the movie company have postponed the release to the 21st and the store had no right to sell it until then.

So the wait until that date is still on, adding some want to my needy hands.
Though this time I'll stick to my webshop, thank you very much :p

Bah, time for a work out... no wait. There was one more thing I wanted to add.

Last night I dreamt that Azure and I were going to meet up in a ski resort O.o
At some point I was walking up a slope and realised I had no idea what he looked like. There were several people going down the hill and everyone was smiling and waving, so for each person that passed I was wondering if it was Azure. It never was, mind you. Haha.

Later on I arrived at some kind of cottage and sat down to wait for him.
Someone came up to me and asked if I was waiting for someone and I said yes. The person laughed and told me I could forget about it, because this was a pub and since Azure wasn't 21 he wouldn't be let in O_O;;;;

I remember being really perplexed at that statement, because it made no sense to me. Ok, so you had to be a certain age to drink in there, but why that age limit was applied to admittance was beyond me. That's where the dream ended, haha.

Ok, now I have to work out .... unless I find something else to distract me >___>;;;
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Tuesday, July 6, 2004

Cellularic
I just finished watching "Mystic River" and .... it was ... disturbing. My stomach churned several times and it was really a discomforting movie to see. It's quite understandable that so many people have raved about it. Afterwards I really wanted to curl up to someone and just be hugged, so it made an impact for sure.

The performances from the actors got pretty much a top mark from me, especially Sean Penn. He just pulled all the aces, man.


Changing the subject, my cellphone operator has had some problems lately and apparently deleted messages (along with voicemail messages) sent to phonenumbers that started with certain numbers. Naturally I was one of those people who had that certain combination in my phonenumber..... I just hope no one's tried to contact me, wondering why I'm not getting back ^_^;;


What else .... ehm, I tried my hand at doing a sign-up for "Kill Adam II". It was really fun, though inspiration struck in the middle of a thunder storm and I feared for the safety of my computer ;___; It's been a while since I did a safety backup and it'd be sad if I lost some of the things that are resting on the harddrive just because I was too stubborn to write my thoughts down with the keyboard instead of a pen and paper. But everything turned out ok in the end :p

You should all head over to the Adventure Arena and check the RPG's out, because there are so many good ones going and plenty getting started, it'd be silly to link to just one ^__^

Have a lovely evening !

*huggles Shnookums*

Thanks for the name, Arcadia ~_^
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Monday, July 5, 2004

1.. 2 .... 3 ....... 4 .............. 5
I've been meaning to start an exercise regime for months now. For some reason it always got put off, put on hold and so on. Now that I've lost enough weight to not feel disheartened and have pretty much all the time in the world, it seemed strange that things kept getting in the way and sidetracking me.

That is, until now.
I only did half an hour, seeing as it's been ages since my last 'working out spurt', and it felt like the most boring half hour of my life. No wonder I haven't gotten serious about it before, lol.

15 minutes was spent biking as speedy as I could (about 21.5 km/h). After that was a little bit of stretching. Then came the time for some exercises on another device, focusing on the muscles in my upper arms mainly. Lastly I stretched again, including my back (which is in much need of maintenance) and that was it.

Actually exercising wasn't boring, it felt pretty good. But sitting on a machine and working out, alone, was tedious.
I shall have to hire my younger sister to be my coach and liven things up for me, she's good at that :D

Hopefully it'll become easier if I stick to it for a while, something I intend to do.
The plan is to do this routine everyday (or at least every other day), mixing it up with walks and the like. Don't know if I want to include sit-ups though. I hate doing them and I rather like having a soft tummy :p

Thinking back on how active I was as a child, always running around, it makes sense that being a couch potato does me no good. My body and mind works better when I'm putting a little bit of stress on my muscles, I know that.

Bring on that motivation !

(Does anyone want to apply for the opening as my personal masseur? ~_^)
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Suspended on silver wings
I forgot to include a couple of small things in my last post. Nothing important but since I've got little more to say, I figured I'd use them to do a little update :p


Just as we got to IKEA and went up to look at chairs, there was a little girl screaming and crying. Naturally I cringed (being of the strong opinion you do not take small children to IKEA) but suddenly a slightly older boy ran up to the girl, hugged her and told her to come with him and look at something. She stopped crying immediately and sprinted after him. It was such a sweet scene: the older brother taking care of his younger sibling. Sort of fuelled my wish of having a big brother *soppy smile* We ended up sitting next to their table in the restaurant, haha.

One other thing I did while browsing the store, was to write down a few songs that played over their sound system. Incredibly silly, I know. Anyway, here are the ones I heard and got down on my paper:

Norah Jones … it was from the first album, but I can't remember which one. It was played as we walked through the kitchen department.

Roxy Music - "Avalon"

Toni Braxton - "Breathe again"

R.E.M - "Everybody hurts"

Westlife - "I swear"

Justin Timberlake - "Cry me a river"

Desirée "Feel so high"

Simon & Garfunkel "Sound of Silence"


Speaking of music, on the ride back home, I borrowed a cd with Scissor Sisters from my sister. Mr Azazel might've mentioned them before she told me about them, can't remember. Either way, yesterday was the first time I got a chance to listen through the entire cd. "Better luck" was an instant 'repeat favourite', hehe. *spins on chair*

So right now I'm listening to that album and looking through my sisters' cd case, finding lots of things to snatch over to my comp (K's Choice, Muse etc), getting a good feel for what I'd like to add to my cd cabinet. It's nice to have the option to sit down and properly go through an album (several times), instead of playing snippets and based on that decide if I'll end up liking the whole deal. My sisters are my music dealers, lol.

Oooo, and my dad informed me that a store nearby will release "The last Samurai" on Wednesday. Which means I won't have to wait until the end of the month to get it ! *triumphant pose* He also gave me "Spirited Away" for a smaller fee, lol. Apparently there was a campaign where you bought two movies for the price of one and he decided to buy that one and pass it on to me, haha. The other movie he got was "Mystic River", which I should get around to watching.


Ah, yesterday was so good and it feels like the goodness poured over to today ^__^ New furniture, good music and lovely conversation (mixed with dangerous plotting *rawr*) really made the week end on a great note and this week to start on a good high :D I can't wait for August to kick in, hehehe.

So much to see/hear/do/plan ^___^

I feel like I'm going topsy turvy !

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