Thursday, June 24, 2004

Days of fun in the ... *looks out window* clouds ?

My sister will arrive at the house shortly. As will my "Kill Bill" DVD.
Which one to hug first ? >__>

I sense a slight conflict of interest here, LOL.

But in any case. If my plans pan out correctly, there will be :

* Waffles with strawberry jam (and whipped cream)

* Scrabble (that Speed Scrabble, that terra spoke of, sounded like fun)

and if I'm really lucky there might even be some bowling !


I shall report back later tonight :D


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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Sometimes when you hear your name called, it sounds like an angel singing...
Excuse me while I get something off of my chest, I don't want it to cause an infection. Ick.
Feel free to scroll down. I'd hate for you to catch anything :p

When I was about 5 years old, my cousins (on dad's side) were visiting. Along with my sisters we all headed to a playground about 5 minutes from our house. The sky was perfectly clear, a beautiful shade of blue stretching over our heads. But I mustn't get too lyrical.

Suddenly lightning was going off everywhere and black clouds came out of nowhere, instantly darkening the sky [.... As a 5 year old you really have no perception of time. That must be said. So when I think back on it today (at the age of 22), it can be debated if it really happened that quickly ....]. Everyone scrambled away at velocities that would make that dinosaur, the very speedy one, jealous. Did I mention they had bikes and knew how to ride them ? No ? Well, they had bikes and knew how to ride them [.... I actually had one too, but it did me no good since at that point I was clueless as to how it worked ....]. Their escape from the torrential downpour, forgive my inability to keep this story simple and to the point, was so snappy that no one noticed that I fell behind from the word go.

So there I was, drenched from water falling off a heavy sky, whimpering at the deafening thunder. I recall the bike being very heavy to push, though it might've been the heavy winds. After what felt/seemed like an eternity, I had gotten halfway home and still no sign of anyone looking for me. But as I got a little bit closer to home, there was a moving speck coming closer and closer. It was a knight in shining armour, on a valiant steed that sparkled in the dark day [.... The speck was my dad, on a bike ....]. He whisked me home and I was towelled off and welcomed back to safety by my mom.

Brief synopsis: I was 5 years old, happily playing with older sisters and cousins. The sky turned pitch black, there was heavy thunder and rain. Everyone ran off, leaving me behind. My own sisters didn't notice that I was missing. End the first experience with abandonment. Yes, so many more were to follow. But that's bothersome to dwell about. Let's move on.
/End brief synopsis

So what brought about me sharing this with everyone ? Well, it has to do with the visit to the cinema, this past Sunday. As you already know I went with my older sister, the younger one decided to stay home and because I had already booked the tickets, there was one left over. Since dad would drive us I asked if he wanted to go along, but he had already made plans to see a footie game (soccer). Then my sister came up to me and asked if she could invite a friend, seeing as we had one ticket over. It later evolved to two friends and a younger brother.

First off, this was supposed to be a ‘sister thing’.
Secondly, my older sister is a master in shutting me out (remember the instance when she locked me out of the house ? ... which is quite funny if you decide to look at it like that ... she's also the sister I shall be going to London with ... anyway), but she's very close to her friends.
Adding these two things up, I had the stereotypical red flashlights/big warning signs going up. I would feel left out, misplaced, abandoned--- but wait, what if that didn't happen ? What if I took the plunge and tried to make an effort ? Could it be that just this once my intuition was off key ?

In one word: No.

The minute my sister saw her friends she, quite literally, turned her back on me. Though, she did ask for the time, if she could borrow money for candy and where to go. And I tried to talk to her friends, which worked to a degree. I said something, they said something to me and then went back to talking to my sister. I'll give them credit for not doing it in a rude way *shrug*


What was my point with this ? ... Ehm, I've forgotten. Haha. It got me down a bit, but now that the wallowing is done *makes disarming gesture and smiles* I'd rather feel discouraged and try again, than to wonder ‘what if ?’ and never get anywhere.

Here are a few (and random) facts:

* I'm slightly addicted to buying cards. The kinds that have funny/sweet messages on them and that you put in an envelope and send off to whomever. Those cards.

* An additional shelf in my cupboard has been semi-cleared to allow my DVD collection to grow >:D

* My younger sister is now equally obsessed with Naruto as I am ... well, she's more into Kakashi than Naruto XD. We have a blast imitating voices, saying the odd Japanese word, "singing" along to the soundtracks and constantly referring to various scenes whenever we see an opportunity to bewilder others and amuse ourselves :D


A few (though not so random) thoughts:

* There should be more bowling !

* There should be more Waffle Days !

* There should be more Scrabble playing !

* This post should be ended with a big hug !


*HUG*

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Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Word of today: Azure
First off I want to apologise for not commenting much. I always feel a little bit guilty whenever I just read and sneak off without a peep ^_^;

*comments on comments*

Arcadia: Oh it was sad indeed, but when that last scene ended and the credits started rolling... I was smiling. Even though it was heartbreaking, there was so much hope and uplifting spirit in that ending.

Ben: Thank you, that needed to be done.

HC: HC meet Gaara, Gaara meet HC. He spells his name C-H-A-R-L-I-E *hides*

Charmi: Were those your slippers ?....

Panda: Of course you are. Much more so *affirmative nod*

banzaiinu1: Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Juuthena: Quite right about Ewan. He sure can make the hills come alive with a sound of music... hrm..... You'd honestly give me Big Fish ?!?! *sobs*


*decides to try and make a post*
Due to the lack of bowling, I bought Scrabble and forced my family members to play with me. (Hence the subject title. Today I managed to get in the word "Azure".)
I would say I'm evil for doing that, but this says differently:



And I've also bought "Kill Bill" ... well, almost. Seems they forgot to put the disc in, so we're gonna swing by the mall again on Thursday and get it.

Something else we'll be doing on Thursday is picking up my oldest sister from a town with a trainstation.... we actually have a trainstation here, but she decided to save a few pennys and the bother of switching trains and stop at the other station.
She's only staying overnight and I'll be sure to make her feel plenty guilty about that--- I mean... Ehm... Anyway, she'll probably manage the guilt trip on her own.

So for one day, the entire family will once more be under the same roof.
Yes, my younger sister is already here and she'll be staying for... I don't know for how long. She couldn't get a job in her town and decided to spend the summer at home and work here. It's amazing how crowded the house gets these days, whereas when we were kids it seemed to be plenty of space *tilts head*


Now if you'll excuse me, I think I will do some therapeutic wallowing in Word.
I like to drink things from bottles, but I don't want to put my feelings and thoughts into them.

*gives everyone a hug*

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Monday, June 21, 2004

Link to where I found it.
Please note that I don't know if evil pop ups will appear, since I have a pop up blocker.


Saw "Big Fish" yesterday.
It was beautiful.
It made me feel beautiful.

[Were there a pair of ruby red slippers hanging on that shoe line in Spectra ?]

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Saturday, June 19, 2004

I stick out my tongue in your general direction :P

Yes, I gave in and took the survey everyone else has been doing *glares at Shin* And I did enjoy it somewhat *winks to Charmi*
It was even more fun to see your comments following eachother *laughs at Shin & Charmi's comments*.... *innocently* ~_^

Sorry about cutting our talk short earlier, Charmi. I'm feeling better now though, so don't worry ^_^
The same goes for PT and Angel. Sorry _^_;


I really appreciate when my dad has one of his better moments.
Long and depressing story cut short and positive, he's driving my older + younger sister and I to the cinema tomorrow. That means I can afford to see two movies and they are: "Kill Bill II" and "Big Fish".

We've been meaning to go see "Big Fish" for ages, but somehow it never happened. And I didn't think I'd get to see "Kill Bill II" until it came out on video/dvd in the fall, so that's really neat ^__^

[EDIT]Turns out they're marathoning Kill Bill and I don't have time or energy to see 3 movies (fun as it may have been). Next week maybe :D [/EDIT]

*huggles all the wonderful boys and girls*
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The Stolen Survey
First
First job: Raking leaves
First screen name: Typo
First self purchased cd: Ace of Base – "Happy Nation"
First funeral: A young girl, whose family was friends with my family
First piercing/tattoos: I had my ears pierced when I was young, but they closed up pretty quickly because I couldn't be bothered with wearing earrings *lol*
First credit card: -
First true love: -
First enemy: My 1st grade teacher *snorts*
First big trip: Iceland (1997)
First concert: A kiddie show, with two men singing and everyone else dancing/singing along
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Probably Gypsy Kings
First kiss: -
First relationship: -

LAST
Last big car ride: Stockholm, about a year ago.
Last kiss: -
Last library book checked out: Tale of Time City
Last movie seen: Swing Kids
Last beverage drank: Milk
Last food consumed: Sandwiches
Last phone call: With my younger sister, a day or two ago
Last cd played: Savage Garden
Last annoyance: Myself
Last soda drank: I don't drink soda
Last ice cream eaten: Magnum (vanilla ice cream on a stick, covered with a thick layer of dark chocolate)
Last time scolded: N/A :P
Last shirt worn: The top that says "No penalty for use of hands"
Last website visited: MyOtaku
Last relationship: -

I AM: human
I WANT: …
I HAVE: a very nice home and a loving family
I WISH: I would stop complicate things
I HATE: sweating over the small stuff
I FEAR: that I'm putting too much effort into this survey :p
I HEAR: the sound of soft rain
I WONDER: just where my potential could take me
I REGRET: building walls around me
I LOVE: …
I ACHE: when it's cold and I don't have enough clothes on
I ALWAYS: find my way back
I AM NOT: perfect
I DANCE: by bouncing about
I SING: along to songs
I CRY: when I need to
I AM NOT ALWAYS: the person I want to be
I WRITE: when inspiration strikes
I WIN: sometimes
I LOSE: confidence
I CONFUSE: myself
I NEED: …
I SHOULD: let it go

YES or NO
You keep a diary: Only this one
You like to cook: Yep. And baking is fun too ^_^
You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: Guess so

Do You?
Have a crush: *inserts standard reply* 'I feel crushed, does that count ?'
Want to get married: I honestly don't know
Get motion sickness: Not really
Think you're a health freak: Yes, but I don't act on it XD
Get along with your parents: Yeah
Like thunderstorms: If I've got nothing important to do with electrical things, sure

CURRENT HAIR COLOR: 10 % blonde, 90 % dark brown
EYE COLOR: Blue
BIRTHPLACE: Sweden

FAVORITES
Number: 7
Color: Blues
Day: Monday
Month: *shrugs*
Songs: Right now there are too many to mention
Season: All of them
Drink: Water

PREFERENCES:
Cuddle or make out: Cuddle, because it has a cosier vibe to it than 'make out'
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate: Chocolate milk (except in the winter time)
Milk, dark or white chocolate: Milk
Vanilla or chocolate: Chocolate

IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU
Cried?: A little
Helped someone?: I hope so
Bought something?: No
Gotten sick?: Yes *pout*
Gone to the movies?: Nuh-uh
Gone out for dinner?: Nope
Said I love you?: No
Written a real letter?: No
Written in a journal?: Somewhat
Had a serious talk?: Yes
Missed someone?: Mhm
Hugged someone?: Mom
Fought with your parents?: *shakes head* No
Fought with a friend?: No

WOULD YOU EVER:
Eat a bug: *frowns* No thanks
Bungee jump: Probably
Lost it: I'd rather not
Kiss someone of the same sex: Nah
Have sex with someone of the same sex: No
Parachute from a plane: No
Walk on hot coals: No.
Go out with someone for the looks: Only if they did the same to me, haha !
Be a vegetarian: I'd starve if I did that
Wear plaid with stripes: Sure ^_^
IM a stranger: I'll stick to my friends
Sing karaoke: That'd be fun, hehe
Get drunk off your [edited]: What's the fun in that ?
Shoplift: No
Run a red light: Not with a car, but on foot or on a bike… sure >:D
Star in a porn video: No
Dye your hair blue: As long as I could have some purple highlights :D
Be on survivor: Absolutely not
Wear makeup in public: I might
Not wear makeup in public: That's easy - Yes
Cheat on a test: No
Make someone cry: Only if it made them realise something they've ignored
Date someone more that 10 years older than you: No
Stay up all night: My body needs sleep *is boring*


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Friday, June 18, 2004

Buy me a ticket to an aeroplane
Wheee, I just talked some more to my older sister about London and I think we've got a pretty set date. The first week of August. Though we've not decided how many days we'll spend in London, we're probably looking at 4 days.

If anyone has good suggestions on cheap (but not shoddy) hostels, please pass them on. Any help is welcomed ^_^

There's more to say about this, but I need to check up on some things, go over issues with people and do stuff. That whole vague thing, you know ^_^;

The post for today is the one below this one :p

PS: .... is it just me, or does the background look green with this green font ? ....


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The results are in, thank you for playing ^__^ [Edited]

The answers are now edited into the previous post ^_^

I've looked over the comment box and decided that Molly and Nightbeck tied for 1st place and Solo came in a close second (though he did pave the way for everyone ~_^).

So if you guys want to (Molly, Becky & Solo), you can choose 4 numbers each (ranging from 1-43) and I'll do a new quiz some day *rawr* You also get to cash in a favour of choice, as long as I can actually perform the favour ~_^;;;

I'm really proud of everyone for their good guessing skills ! It also made me happy that I could make SomeGuy happy by having "A Knight's Tale" thrown in *curtseys and smiles*
And I really hope that they don't mess up "Goonies II", should it ever come off the ground *looks apprehensively at Kinetix*

Panda gets a very special mention, because she knew Benny & Joon *happy dance and hugs*

[EDIT]My stupid computer erased the message I did for Charmi in this post. Sorry Liebling ;_; *inserts it again* There we go ^_^[/EDIT]

Charmi's adoring fans should also bow to her Pirate knowledge ~_^

And now I must tend to my cold, which is persistently ... persistent >_>;;;

*huggles Everyone*


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Thursday, June 17, 2004

Riddle me this, riddle me that ~_^
I am stealing the music test-thingy everyone's been doing - BUT - with a twist ~_^
Instead of posting lyrics from songs, I am doing lines from movies :D

Thanks to Alan for helping me randomly pick movies ^_^ (No, he does not know which ones they are.)

Let the games begin ! ^_^

1. Twenty-eight days... six hours... forty-two minutes... twelve seconds. That... is when the world... will end.
[Donnie Darko]


2. If I take another step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.
[Lord of the Rings - Fellowship of the Ring]


3. You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. Come back when you're worthy.
[A Knight's Tale]


4. If you were looking for your opportune moment... that was it.
[Pirates of the Caribbean – Curse of the Black Pearl]


5. - You don't like raisins?
- Not really.
- Why?
- They used to be fat and juicy and now they're twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes. I can't say I am a big supporter of the raisin council.
[Benny & Joon]

6. - You wanna buy some death sticks ?
- You don't want to sell me death sticks.
- I don't want to sell you death sticks.
- You want to go home and rethink your life.
- I want to go home and rethink my life.
[Star Wars - Attack of the Clones]


7. Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.
[Goonies]


8. - Him. Her. Alone
- What's wrong with that ?
- I can see what's happening
- What ?
- And they don't have a clue
- Who ?
- They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line: our trio's down to two.
- Oh...
[The Lion King]


9. The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.
[Moulin Rouge]


10. - The exits are located here, and here. In the event of an emergency, put your heads between your knees, and...

- Kiss your bum goodbye.
[Chicken Run]

Bon appetit ~_^
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Wednesday, June 16, 2004

   Look ! A face-thingy :o
Yes, I am exhausted. Other than that I'm fine :)

If you're happy and you know it and you really wanna show it, if you're happy then scroll your way down to the song :p

Today I had [what I hope will be the last] psychological assesment. I was basically sent to this clinic to test if I was autistic.....

(Yes, seriously. I am clearly not autistic, something I am pretty confident everyone knew already, and yet they went through the trouble of sending me there to make sure. Feel free to be amazed/laugh your heads off/feel incredible sympathy for me for having had to endure about 5 major tests over the course of 6 months and repeatedly go over all the things [that I've tried to put behind me] from the past 3 years. Please also note that I have a cold/flu and really had no energy for this sort of thing today, physically or mentally. Is it really that strange that I have problems with anxiety and panic attacks ?)

After stressing my mind with a couple of tests, the people at the clinic stared at me and asked what on earth I was doing there. They had recieved no previous history to why I had been sent there. All they had was a request to test for autism from the doctors in my hometown. This of course meant that I had to go over my lifestory, which by now feels like listening to a scratched record. How am I supposed to put all this behind me if I am forced to constantly bring it back up ? I would really like to know.

Anyway, we all agreed that I did not show any signs of autism or anything else. They did however point out that I should medicate my anxiety/stress/panic issues, since it's not getting better on its own.... Actually, they're the first ones [out of all the people I've met during this testing period] to really acknowledge that, which is odd.
I honestly thought that I had made it crystal cleat that that's what I suffer from, nothing else. Not lack of intelligence/people skill, etc etc.... Ah well.

Soooooo. All in all, it took about 5 hours (getting there, testing and driving home), but it was enough to drain me. And I'm tired, but a good night sleep should cure that ^__^

"Bang bang (my baby shot me down)"

I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He could always win the fight

Bang bang he shot me down
Bang bang I hit the ground
Bang bang that awful sound
Bang bang my baby shot me down

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
Remember when we used to play

Bang bang I shot you down
Bang bang you hit the ground
Bang bang that awful sound
Bang bang I used to shoot you down

The music played and people sang
And just for me the church bells rang

Now he's gone I don't know why
And till this day some times I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie

Bang bang he shot me down
Bang bang I hit the ground
Bang bang that awful sound
Bang bang my baby shot me down


... Maybe not the happiest of songs, but oh-so-addictive. I cannot get it out of my head *continues singing/humming* I must consult force my bank account to give me some money and buy the soundtrack/DVD >:D


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