Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Dude !

I got some Aussie action last night, baby !

…Ehm, I mean I watched Finding Nemo… *whips out halo*

There were so many references to other movies in there and it felt like watching one big "in-joke" *giggles* It's a really great movie and now I think I'll get Toy Story, since people keep "comparing" the two.

And the "list of movies I must see" is growing alarmingly huge O.o;;;; There are still DVD's in my cupboard that I haven't watched and I bought those... some time ago ^_^;
That fact doesn't stop me from getting more movies, of course, haha.

That's right.... I wrote down my DVD collection for a dull day. I think I have somewhere around 50. Which isn't much, but I only just started a few months back :p
I'll put that list up some day, for you all to scrutinize ~_^

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Come dance with me ^__^

I got the tax papers today and I get money back this year !!

WAZOO !!

It's pretty much the same amount that I had to pay last year (*grumble*).
The only problem is… I don't get it until August/September…

Yet another thing I have to wait for ~_^

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*Pose*
You know all those "psychoanalytical" shows, where people come on and talk about their problems and the host (or/and the audience) "sorts them out" ?

Fat people on those shows are always told that they're fat because they want to shield themselves from the world. How it makes them feel safe, so they keep eating to sustain the protective layer of fat and by feeding the fear that prompted the walls to go up, they dodge dealing with it.

Now, I gained weight because I got sick, so there's an obvious difference here. But I have to say that now that I lost all the pounds I gained and then some ... I feel vulnerable. Sort of exposed.

And at the same time I feel powerful, like no one can hurt me.

(It's contradictory, I know.)

Heh, my mom is getting kind of worried about how much weight I'm losing. I guess she's scared I'll go anorectic, which is about as foreign to me as... eating vegetables ;p
And as much fun as getting of excess fat has been, there's no way I'd get any kind of eating disorder. Because:

1) I love having breakfast. The other meals are good too, because dinner is a great time to catch up with the family and the evening snack is pretty much like breakfast... only later >_>;

2) There's nothing I hate more than to throw up. I can't even stand hearing/watching someone else throw up. So there's no way I'll get bulimic >_<

3) And this is the silly reason... I've got a thick bone structure, so technically I can't be anorectic *hides from mob*

Seriously though, I have no reason to adapt eating disorders. I'm not naturally skinny, so going for that is just stupid.

And I like my curves, which have become much more defined now, hehe. My upper body has lost the blobbyness and ehm, you know, hehe, it's really quite surprising to see just how my body curves *giggles*

I wasn't really aware of that before, even though my bras obviously gave me a hint, heh.

..... No, I'm not going to post my cup size O.o;

Anyway, I had a serious point to make... I think. Yes, here it comes:

I figure we all have walls of some kind. Physical and mental ones.

Some people can use the walls as a precautionary defence system, not allowing them to get in the way of their life. While others devote a lot of time to reinforce their walls and hide behind them.

Certain walls need to be there. Then again, there are those that should be torn down and kicked into dust >:D

Take Care Everyone !
Remember that People and Objects are only as much fun as you make of them ^_^

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Monday, March 29, 2004

I'm ready to leave, if you are ? *tilts head and smiles*

I honestly don't mind if someone makes fun of me, in fact I probably encourage it. But this wasn't a matter of making fun of anyone, it was just downright petty remarks/insults and it was combined with previous incidents. Other people have been subjected to the same infringements (ooo, I love bigger words) and that's what made me angry. Normally I'd just shrug it off and drop it (because this is the internet, after all), but it's like this....

If you come after me, then I will deal with you maturely (or at least not sink to a level that is beneath me). But if you harass people I care about... then you're opening the gates to hell. I am nowhere near sweet and innocent when friends and family are targeted (offline and online).

Am I over it ? Sure, I got somewhat of an apology and accepted it.

So on that note: Thanks for the support, both when it happened and when I let out some steam.

Let's move on ! *dramatically gestures in general directions*

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This and that
My younger sister came home yesterday and from the last conversation I had with her, I expected her to bring me back my PS2……………… (I love to emphasise things with space, forgive me)…………but she did not. I guess I need to be more aggressive in my communication to get all points across *lol* We'll sort it out, if only because I love to clear things up _^_


Ah well, I didn't get my console back, but I did get Finding Nemo. That'll be played more than frequently in my house, from now on >:D
I need to get back into the swing of quoting, and this movie's got some good stuff ~_^


My room finally got cleaned yesterday (read vacuumed), so now the floor is actually visible. It's probably because I sit more at the computer in my room these days, that makes it dust up quicker than before. And I noticed that I've got 3 blankets/felts on my armchair *lol*

I will now proceed to end this post with commenting on your comments O.o
From my "proper" post :p

CrH: *giggles* You need to teach me more odd stuff about Australia.

Azure: I need to meet your mom, or something *lol* So many hours were spent on that game, heh. There probably were rats. I know for sure there were bats flying around... and I remember the dragons >:| they were green and I didn't like them, because they cramped up my style ;p
I need to find that game *makes big note about it*

You dreamt about me ? ~_^ Hm, I don't know if my dreams are telling me to go to a specific place. The main focus of my travelling dreams is usually that I've forgotten stuff (money, passport). I tend to see it as a fear of going through with things (projects, dreams), even though I want it with every fibre of my being. Because wanting something and going about getting it, are two very different things *nods wisely*

Kinetix: I knoooow. My younger sister told me ages ago, but nothing seemed to happen around that time, so I forgot all about it. Part of me hopes they go through with it, but then there's the part that is screaming "Nooooooooooo, what are they thinking ? =\ " *lol*
OB dreams are weird *shifty*

Sarah: Yes, oh yes ! Chicago will love you *pretends she knows Spanish, so she can say passionate things* Si !
Hm, I'm not sure if we've got an insult that would match, so I'll just have to translate it straight off *tilts head*

Becky: *repeats name over and over* No, not obsessing >_>;;
*lol* You Goonie ! :D

Tony: Tell that to whom it may concern, I'm sure he’d agree *LOL* Sorry, I just love making bad jokes that require knowledge about whatever I'm talking about >:D

SomeGuy: *lol* Would you like me to really put some emphasis on the word, or just say it plainly ? >:D

Rustym: No problem, it was my pleasure. And yes, try and find Goonies *nod nod*

James: I shall try to say that as innocently as only an innocent person could say it ~_^


Take Care Everyone !
Remember that People and Objects are only as much fun as you make of them ^_^

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Sunday, March 28, 2004

Quick Rant
I do not care how silly the chats become, no one has the right to call me demeaning things and be offensive beyond reasoning.

I don't care how "jestful" it is, a cheap shot is a cheap shot.

It makes me especially angry (yes, fancy that) when I try my very best to make things right and get even more low blows in return.

I am not amused.

Comments (13) | Permalink

The attack of the Dust Rats ! O.o
Swedish Lesson #3

We have arrived at Rustym's request. After this one it's SomeGuys and a little something I did for Molly.... then I'm all out *gasp* :o

So if you've got a Silly Swedish Lesson Request, you know what to do *triumphant posing*

Lesson 3 - You Idiot

Spelling = Ditt pucko
You say "idiot" in Swedish also, but we don't want to be obvious when we insult our dear 'friends', now do we ? ~_^

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Thanks again to Everyone for reading the story *lol*
I am so happy you all picked up on my desire to be vague, because that was the intention. And I also have major difficulties in focusing on what I write, so 'boxing it up' and dividing it like that was the only way I could approach it ^_^;

It is meant to feel incomplete as well, because I'm not really into the 'ultimate ending', so to speak. Hopefully people will get images in their head as they read and upon arriving at the final stage, it will be up to each individual how it should 'continue'.

The italic pieces were ... how to put it... my inner voice ? In the beginning the 'story telling me' is somewhat in tune with 'inner voice me'. But as the 'story teller' gets lost they move away from each other and so I guess the 'inner voice' sounds more like a ... I don't know. It was supposed to feel like a part of me, a future version, or even a past one. The one that the present me is wanting to be again..

Now I've really tangled myself up in myself *LOL* But anyway, read that as you will. I'm thinking that that's the part Tony found creepy ? Hehe.

And if you've seen (or plan on seeing) Goonies, you'll find that the ending sentence "Take it back, take it all back" really gets a whole new meaning.

Yes, this is a shameful way for me to get you all to see that movie >:D
It's an 80's movie, Sean Astin is in it and I just want you all to see it *giggles*

There was also a video game (to NES) that my sisters and I played to death.

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Memories
Last week I was talking to my mom about how I'm suddenly making plans to travel and spend time with my sisters more. Somewhere in the conversation I realised why I'm in such a hurry to go places, to do things...

I want to make new memories. Not just hold on to old ones.

That feeling has grown stronger as I've spoken to other people. I'm not saying I want to do stuff only to have something new to look back on, no. I want to live right now and take care of the time I access now. And if I get some good stuff to look back at, then I won't complain. Haha ^_^


Hehe, I dreamt that I went to Australia, a couple of days back. And as always when I dream of travelling, I'd forgotten to bring stuff. My suitcase got as far as the airport, but then it got lost. Haha.

But I was standing on a cliff, overlooking the ocean. There was a pretty strong breeze, but I couldn't really feel it. The sun was setting and the colors were astonishing. My oldest sister was there, it appeared she moved to a house near the cliff and I had come to visit her. The place just felt warm and welcoming and I was so happy to be there, to meet my sister.

I think I should call her and let her in on the 'amusement park' idea.

But first I need to clean up my room, it's not looking pretty at the moment ^_^;;;

Take Care Everyone !
Remember that People and Objects are only as much fun as you make of them ^__^
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Saturday, March 27, 2004

A tale of a story that never was...
This "story" was never really ment to go further than the first section.
But the next day I went for a walk and it inspired me to write the ending. So I put the inspiration to use and wrote a middle part for it as well.

Thanks to everyone who has already read it and reads it now. I appreciate it ^_^

"Tainted Hands"
Today I got the latest instalment of a manga magazine and my hands eagerly flipped the pages, my lips curving in a smile as I followed the adventures of my favourite characters. But as I was putting the magazine away, chuckling lightly, I noticed the printing ink on my hands.

And I remembered....

My fingers used to be black after thumbing hundreds of papers. Sometimes there would be dark blotches on my face, after I'd scratched an itchy nose, or tried to fend off the sleep from my eyes.

Seeing it on my hands had always filled me with a sense of accomplishment, pride even. Like when you were young and someone would smile and ruffle your hair, praising even the smallest of feats.

It was subtle joy, and I miss it....

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A deep sigh escaped my lips as I beheld the warm water dance like grey clouds down the sink. The soap had cleansed my inked hands, but could not strip me of the visions that tainted and poisoned the soul.

Distant memories are always closest to your heart...

To this day I can still recall every insignificant detail, all those feelings that rushed through me like wild fairies on a late summer's eve. It's funny how, even after all this time, its vibrancy has not faded...

Why didn't I take better care of those moments then, instead of now clinging to them ... mutating them into an infection, a disease ?

They're long gone now, though...

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Quietly struggling with shoelaces, my eyes tried to shut out the pressing tears and look ahead. The dimly lit hallway cast shadows on my dark mind, slowly suffocating and drowning the life that fought to surge through me again.

I can still feel it...

The sweet sensation as my hands slowly move across the smooth surface and the wind trying to snatch the pages from me, a childish attempt to beckon for attention. Early rays of sunlight blinding sleepy eyes. Looking over the shoulder curiously, trying to decipher my playful smile.

An innocent, healthy high... Contained ecstasy.

It's still a part of me.. still here ?

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With a desperate groan and lungs burning for air, I threw myself at the door and staggered out into the light of day. Blocking out everything but the black tar passing under my feet, I ran to the beating of my anguished heart and allowed the pain to bleed from my eyes.

Wait...stop....what is that ?...

Time always slowed down to a gentle pace when I delved into that world. Nothing else mattered once I got there and I would embrace it like a lover, feed it with the passion that scorched the other world so badly. Cradled in its gentle arms I would slumber peacefully, safe.

My voice is.. failing me... can't call for it.. to return... Where.. where is it ? I need... I want...

No. Look...

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I violently snapped back to reality and realised I had come to a complete halt. The ferocious winds shook my weak body, forcing me to gasp for air; a clear blue sky leant down and captured my weary eyes... warm beams eagerly soaked up my tears.

Can you see it ?...

A baffled giggle slipped out as I stood there, lost like a fool that tricked you to smile, even though you were determined to pout until all sweetness had soured. I could never resist that coaxing sillyness, I loved to lose that game.... I really did.

You'll be fine...

Carefully looking around, I noticed a single piece of paper swirling aimlessly in the wind. It seemed as though it was jerked between two hands fighting to read it, brutally handling the delicate sheet.

It looked tired, as if it would shred apart at any given moment. Barely able to stay together, crying to be released from the harsh hands that tortured it.

Take it back... take it all back.

The End.
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Friday, March 26, 2004

Recipe for Sarah... and everyone else... but mostly Sarah ;)
I really need to learn how to transform Swedish measurements into American ones. So if anyone wants to teach me, or point me in the direction of a good website, I'd be most grateful ^_^;

Ok, this is a recipe for a vegetarian pie. Hopefully you'll either understand the measurements for the shell, or have a basic recipe that you can use instead.... or just buy a ready-made shell :p

Pie shell

* 3 decilitres of plain flower
* 100-125 grams of butter
* 3 tablespoons of water (that's the only measurement I had in my dictionary, heh. So you won't need to transform that one)

Make a pie shell, let it rest in the fridge for half an hour. Take it out, push it out into a pie mold and bake it for 5-10 minutes in the oven.

While the pie shell is baking, make the vegetable mix.


Vegetable Mix

3 carrots
1 onion
1 leek
½ teaspoon of salt
a pinch of black pepper
½ a cup of water

1 small packet of cottage cheese (250 grams)
3 eggs
1 small bowl of grated cheese (1 decilitre)


Chop all the vegetables into thin circles and fry them in a pan, until slightly softened.
Season it with the salt and pepper.
Add the water and let it boil/simmer under a lid for 5-10 minutes. If there's still water left after that time, simply leave it on the stove and let it steam off.

Mix the cottage cheese, eggs and cheese together in a bowl and then add the fried vegetables.

Pour it onto the pie shell and cook it in the middle of the oven at 200 Celsius, for about 30 minutes.

Voilá ^__^

I hope it made some sense =^_^=

Let cooking commence !

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