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Sunday, December 21, 2003
It's been a year...
This post will deal with how my year has been, health-wise.
I meant to post it on the 17th, but I didn't want to clash with people's happy responses to Return of the King... and I was too happy to write about it, anyways *soft laugh*
I should probably post the sheep-banner again, to take the edge of it further *lol*
Good to know it had the same effect on you guys, as it had to me *happy*
17th December 2002 - Shortly after 9.30 am.
I was walking home from English class, which I aced 6 months before the others ^_^
When I got through the door, I started to shake uncontrollably.
At first I thought I was tired and needed sleep, but the trembling didn’t subside.
During this time, there were a lot of … traumatic issues, circling in my family. So somehow my awareness of my deterioration got lost.
Not for long, though.
Slowly, but surely, other symptoms surfaced.
- I gained somewhere around 10 kilos in 3 months
… My skin couldn’t keep up with the change and it was so taught that it felt like I was going to burst.
- I lost all appetite
… Despite the immense gain in weight, I couldn't eat. My stomach felt sore and I could feel the acids tearing me up from inside. I was sent to a doctor that stuck a tube down my throat and into my stomach (don't know what that's called in English). But he could find nothing wrong… All the first 4 doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me…
- My condition plummeted
… After walking 50-100 meters, I was out of breath… completely drained.
Whereas before this started, I could easily walk 1 kilometre and still have an abundance of energy.
- I was tired
… oh, so very tired. Even if I slept through the night and half the day, I was still tired. Everyday was a haze of foggy sleepwalking.
- I was dizzy, disoriented and I lost the ability to communicate
… Sounds got muffled and my vision got blurred. I was afraid to go outside, thinking I would walk into the street and get run over.
… I couldn't put sentences together, said something different to what I intended to. "Remember the balloon" instead of "Did you take the umbrella with you ?".
I slurred and eventually stopped speaking, because I felt so degraded by my incoherent babbling.
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It felt as though I was going insane.
I was slowly loosing grip and falling into oblivion.
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The darkest hour was back in April.
I actually asked my oldest sister if she would come to my funeral if I died…
I wasn't expecting to live through the hell that had taken over me.
Now here I am – one year later…
I've regained much of my former abilities/strengths. Though it feels as if I've suffered a severe stroke and my brain is still not functioning properly.
Most of the regression has turned into progression. There's still a long way to go…
But I am coming to life. Life is returning to me
- Mimmi
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Saturday, December 20, 2003
I know I know, what I know I know. And when you know you know it, then you truly know....
Thankyou for the suggestion Dagger.
I applied a lighter color to the font and I hope it comes out better (look at previous post for results, no need to hammer that banner in *lol*)
I tried my hand at the "10.000 members banner".
I kept the "10.000 members can't be wrong" in this one.
- Mimmi
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Thursday, December 18, 2003
The 'modify' -button is my best friend ~_^
Lea: sorry for bolting so suddenly. My dad needed to talk to my sister and so I had to promptly leave the computer. We will talk again *nods* :)
Charma: always a pleasure talking to you *bows*
PT: Try not to take over the world. You'd be successful ;p
Mitch: *piiiiiiines* ^_^
Hrm.. needless to say, I was bored and my creativity was seriously blocked when I did this one.
But it came out alright... need to work on the font though ... maybe... ^_^
Take care everyone !
- Mimmi
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Wednesday, December 17, 2003
I have been duped 
I woke up this morning, determined that it would be a crappy day.
Actually, I had decided this yesterday. It was only a matter of realizing that project today.
So I got up at 7 am (just to make sure everything got off to a detest-worthy start) and plopped myself in front of the computer.
It was still dark outside and the room was poorly lit. Everything was set for my dreary day to begin…
But something happened then, this girl did not intend ^_~
As she prepared to write a most sad and disheartening post in her MyO, a window appeared in the corner of her eye.
It was an invitation… a hand reaching out, enticing her attention.
With a gloomy frame of mind, she begrudgingly accepted.
It did not take long before her plans had become utterly thwarted.
She found herself sitting there, the daylight slowly emerging,
with a smile on her face.
Gone were the troubled and miserable thoughts.
It had been replaced by bubblyness and lingering giggles of childish joy.
And so she decided to forsake her plans.
Instead, she went for a walk.
Inhaled the fresh air, bemused herself with humorous thoughts.
She had been duped.
But she did not mind.
Not one bit ...
Thank you James - I cannot find the words to tell you how much I appreciate the gesture.
I am truly thankful.
Thank you Desbreko - I enjoyed the show *glomp* ^_^
And Thank You to everyone else, who sprinkled light into the shadows.
- Mimmi
/EDIT:
Zidargh - Hey :) I signed your guestbook, but I figured I'd mention you here as well ; )
Lea - Yes, this is the only form of duping I actually agree on :)
/EDIT
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Monday, December 15, 2003
 The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind....
I've been thinking lately about stuff…
You know those threads at OB, regarding Love, Kissing and such ?
I've read them and I just have to say something about the whole matter.
13 year old kids (no offence) are complaining that they've not been kissed yet ( O.o ), fretting about never getting kissed.
And here I am… I haven't had anything. That's right, you heard me. Nothing, nada, zippo, zilch, gar nicht…
So consequently, reading these threads gets under my skin, in more than one way. -_-
Which leads to other thoughts.
Flirting
I have no idea how to put my thoughts into words, mainly because they're so scattered and blurred.
There have been days where I've felt really brave and bold, thinking I'd flirt with someone. Anyone.
And I'm sure I have gone through with it, subconsciously… unbeknownst to myself.
So the question evolves into "How did I do ?"
Since I'm not the most experienced person, I've no clue. But considering the seriously-lacking-in-progress-outcome of the whole matter, I've either not done it right… or I'm not flirt-worthy…
So what's the point in flirting with people, if I know that nothing will come of it ?
Sure, at the very least I'll amuse the person subjected to my interest, but apart from that . . ?
It just annoys me at some level, this whole… issue *cringes*
You could also call it jealousy ~_^
" I want what you've had and I'm mopey about the fact that I'm not getting what I want. " *sticks out tongue*
But how do you flirt, really ?
Here are some banners I'm working on.
PT suggested that I edit it into looking like the one below.
It probably needs even more work, but hey :)
I still need to think about it *wink*
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This is just another version.
I liked the image so much, I didn't know which direction to take it in.
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I wanted something simple.
It's supposed to represent my life in a way.
PT (once again) gave me the idea
I never seem to have any ideas of my own ~_^
This is the smaller version of the banner below.
I might have to cut that space on the left side, now that I think about it…
This is the original size.
I wanted to put something in the left corner,
but didn't know how/what to do.
So I've left it for now.
Smoochies to you all !
- Mimmi
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testing testing
This isn't a real post, I'll put up one later. There I will spread the love, in accordance with the laws of Charma ;)
Jutheena: This is the picture I was referring to.
Hope it comes out ok.
- Mimmi
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Saturday, December 13, 2003
Wohooooo !!!
I feel exceedingly alright today *lol*
I would love to gush about all the wonderful people I meet, but I'm too lazy ^__^
So I'll just say "You gorgeous human being, you" and let everyone soak it up *wink*
Before I throw up (pardon the pun) more of my latest blubber, I'm posting some random facts written 2 years ago.
Credit goes to SomeGuy for inspiration *bows*
*I've lived in the same house, in the same village for 21 years. I've lived in all the rooms, except for 1 …And the living room… and the garage… and the playhouse. Those excluded, I've lived in all the rooms of this house *nods*
*I spent the first 6 years of school (not counting kindergarten) in the same classroom, although I only had The Teacher from Hell for 3. Enough to emotionally scar me though *grumbles*
*When I was 6 years old my oldest/eldest (?) sister gave me a ride on her bike and somehow I managed to get my right foot stuck in the wheel.
Spent a couple of weeks on crutches, and today I only have a little scar to remind me of the incident.
*I actually thought my fellow classmates would make fun of me for walking around on crutches... I was a folly child *blush*
*My first cd I ever bought was Ace of Base "Happy Nation - Us Version". I still have it.
*When I was a wee baby my father dropped me (he had me on one arm, reached into the car to get something with the other and to the ground I fell)
I got a concussion and my mum had to stay up with me so I didn't fell asleep (I was in danger of drifting into coma). Scary...
*My favourite subjects in school were English and Swedish. Coincidentally these were the ones I excelled in ~_^
* The last year of school, I attended/participated three PE classes. And I still managed to pass ~_^
We played volleyball those three times, by the way.
*My two older sisters got married 8 weeks apart.
After that I had nightmares about been given away or "accidentally" marrying someone *lol*
*I have absolutely no idea of what I want to be when I grow up. I guess I'll tend to that when that day comes ^_^
Credit to PT for the beautiful quote *bows*
Here comes 1 "banner", done in 3 different ways.
This is a quote I read in "The chocolate War". Only tweaked a bit : )
I really should get around to reading "The Raven" *makes mental and physical note*
Inspired by a great night's sleep *whistles*
Huggles and kisses to you all !
- Mimmi
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Friday, December 12, 2003
I've been feeling strange these past 2 days.
It could be the infection that simply won't leave my system, I don't know.
I've been calm... Almost subdued.
It feels like I'm in the eye of the hurricane. Everything's quiet and serene.
But even in the midst of this peacefullness, I am constantly on edge. Awaiting the next "attack".
Maybe I just need to embrace the few moments of tranquility and not constantly anticipate a disaster around every bend.... *shrug*
Playing around with Photostudio/Photoshop has really helped keeping the anxiety level low. I'm no artist, so the comments really fuel my eagerness to mess about further.
THANKYOU EVERYONE !
Here are my latest ventures :
I took two pictures of Usagi and merged them.
You know that picture of a princess that you can turn upside down and see an old "witch" ?
That's the effect I wanted on this one...
This is one of the pictures I used for the previous banner. The text is from "Gollum's Song"
Say hello to Ruffy (or Luffy, whatever you wish).
I haven't put any text in yet, couldn't think of anything....
Take care, everyone !
- Mimmi
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Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Took some pictures of the sky, some days ago. It looked like the sky was on fire and I couldn't resist playing around with the picture in Photoshop *grins*
Original pic
Tweaked
Ehm... Bucket anyone ?
Another version of the "poetryesque banner"
- Mimmi
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Anxiety issues.
Will keep this short.
Juuthena: Well, I was looking more at Johnny Depp ^_^ But Orli looked good *nods*
Pex: Sometimes you just gotta be lazy : ) You have my permission ; )
Karma: sorry for not talking more. I engulfed myself in the "Winter Tale". Next time I will be more vocal ; )
PT: Thanks for the talk. It did good. Really : )
Must go breathe now.
Take care everyone.
- Mimmi
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