Friday, June 11, 2004

I'm having an Angst Party and you're not invited :p
("I'm having a birthday party and you're not invited" - What's eating Gilbert Grape)

*makes mental note for herself and everyone reading this*

No matter how much I love my little sister, it is not a good idea to lock myself up in my room with her for 3 days straight and watch an anime that makes me highly emotional. Especially not when I hate spoilers and she digs them up -_-;;;;

Seriously, there was a major plot issue that got "resolved" and I looked at her with a huge smile and went "Tada !", upon which she responded "... I know".
That is one of the reasons I don't like sharing interests with her (be it a game or anime), since she'll go search for information (also known as SPOILERS) and then "try not to tell me about them". Which of course irks me, beyond belief.
I don't mind guessing what's gonna happen, but since this show has a natural progression and "plot holes" eventually unfolds (if only given time), I - do - not - want - to - know - about - them - beforehand and it feels like she's missing out on what it's all about when she does that. *breathes*


... This whole deal has made me realise how little I like having people in my room constantly (as in every waking hour of the day), haha. Seriously, this place is my sanctuary from all the angst and frustration. A retreat, if you will. So when it tries to leak its way in here, I just want to kick it out.

And there has been a lot of angsting lately, both on my part and several people around me. That usually doesn't affect me too much. I'll try to help out, without letting it rub off on me. But lately I've been kind of vulnerable and due to the multitude of negative feelings (and how people don't deal with them or in a way that doesn't really solve anything), it got to me. Heh.

As for graduation, I'm not the least bit sad that I missed it. It might've come off as that, but let me assure you that's not the case.
The actual graduating would've just meant that I would have had to endure the attention from relatives that has a tendency to be overbearing and still not have a clue what to do with my life. No big loss there :p

Why didn't I graduate ? Hm, let me think back. *cuts down on the irrelevant depressing stuff* :p

Basically you have to go to school until you're 16, then you either go to more school (3 years first and then you're finished or go on to more studying) or you call it quits and get a job.
A year before I turned 16, I was fed up with everything school related (which includes a lot, hehe). I did try twice to do the 3 years, at different schools and with different "career" prospects. But it just didn't work out.

I did however take some classes that would add up to equal a high school diploma. There's only Math and Social Studies left, which I'll get around to.. some day *LOL*
That year (I was 17, going on 18) actually went surprisingly well, mostly because the enviroment was so different from what I had experienced thus far. The people who took the classes were older (ranging from those who had just graduated and wanted to better their grades, up to people in their 40's and upwards) and everyone was there because they wanted to be there. It was a real healty atmosphere and I thrived.

In conclusion (since I've completely forgotten my point and direction):

There are no sad faces here for "missing" graduation, because when I looked into the mirror yesterday... I thought I looked rather good ~_^;;;

I also know that there's potential within me and for me, not to mention the endless stream of possibilities *silly pose*


The best thing about angsting is getting over it :D
And I'm over this one *kills it with a smile*

^__^

*huggles everyone for being wonderful*
Comments (9)