Wednesday, June 16, 2004

   Look ! A face-thingy :o
Yes, I am exhausted. Other than that I'm fine :)

If you're happy and you know it and you really wanna show it, if you're happy then scroll your way down to the song :p

Today I had [what I hope will be the last] psychological assesment. I was basically sent to this clinic to test if I was autistic.....

(Yes, seriously. I am clearly not autistic, something I am pretty confident everyone knew already, and yet they went through the trouble of sending me there to make sure. Feel free to be amazed/laugh your heads off/feel incredible sympathy for me for having had to endure about 5 major tests over the course of 6 months and repeatedly go over all the things [that I've tried to put behind me] from the past 3 years. Please also note that I have a cold/flu and really had no energy for this sort of thing today, physically or mentally. Is it really that strange that I have problems with anxiety and panic attacks ?)

After stressing my mind with a couple of tests, the people at the clinic stared at me and asked what on earth I was doing there. They had recieved no previous history to why I had been sent there. All they had was a request to test for autism from the doctors in my hometown. This of course meant that I had to go over my lifestory, which by now feels like listening to a scratched record. How am I supposed to put all this behind me if I am forced to constantly bring it back up ? I would really like to know.

Anyway, we all agreed that I did not show any signs of autism or anything else. They did however point out that I should medicate my anxiety/stress/panic issues, since it's not getting better on its own.... Actually, they're the first ones [out of all the people I've met during this testing period] to really acknowledge that, which is odd.
I honestly thought that I had made it crystal cleat that that's what I suffer from, nothing else. Not lack of intelligence/people skill, etc etc.... Ah well.

Soooooo. All in all, it took about 5 hours (getting there, testing and driving home), but it was enough to drain me. And I'm tired, but a good night sleep should cure that ^__^

"Bang bang (my baby shot me down)"

I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He could always win the fight

Bang bang he shot me down
Bang bang I hit the ground
Bang bang that awful sound
Bang bang my baby shot me down

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
Remember when we used to play

Bang bang I shot you down
Bang bang you hit the ground
Bang bang that awful sound
Bang bang I used to shoot you down

The music played and people sang
And just for me the church bells rang

Now he's gone I don't know why
And till this day some times I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie

Bang bang he shot me down
Bang bang I hit the ground
Bang bang that awful sound
Bang bang my baby shot me down


... Maybe not the happiest of songs, but oh-so-addictive. I cannot get it out of my head *continues singing/humming* I must consult force my bank account to give me some money and buy the soundtrack/DVD >:D


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