myOtaku.com: Mimmi

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1981-08-24
Gender
• Female
Member Since
• 2003-10-17
Occupation
• Grammar Apprentice
Real Name
• Mimmi

Personal

Achievements
• Digging ½ a Trench. Having SomeGuy over.
Anime Fan Since
• the mid 80's
Favorite Anime
• Naruto, RahXephon, Haibane Renmei, PMK, Ouran HSHC, Death Note, Bleach, Yakitate Japan
Goals
• Less angsting - more energy!
Hobbies
• Tinkering
Talents
• Being incredibly silly

myOtaku.com: Mimmi

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

:-*
*swoops everyone up in a giant hug*

Aawwww, you guys are the greatest ! Thank You so very much ^____^

And a very special Thank You to my fellow Literati players ~_^

Lovely
Solo posed the very interesting question: "Have you ever fallen in love with someone ?". It was impossible to reply it without going into deeper thought, so I saved it for today's post. Let's see if I can answer this coherently. (Don't worry, it won't be very drawn out :p)

Naturally I've had many crushes on guys. Some were merely superficial, while others went slightly beyond the stereotype crush (in other words, they weren't just a pretty face). Though I doubt it ever went as far as falling in love. I did feel very strongly for one boy in particular, but I hesitate to call it love.

You see, the boys I took an interest in were always people I didn't know well. It wasn't a case of being friends with a guy for a while and then realising I had feelings for them. I saw them in school, maybe had a class with them and that was it. There was never any interaction beyond that. Mostly because I didn't move in the same circles as them and shyness/low self confidence most definitely played a part.

In my opinion you can't really be in love with someone you don't know. It's like being in love with a celebrity; you know about them but that doesn't mean you know them.

And since I wasn't desirable, my crushes were always one-sided. I'd want to get to know them – they weren't interested in knowing who I was. Not much room for development, heh.

My emotions had nothing to build on and couldn't take it further than the stages of a silly crush. You can't get very far on the bare essentials and to move beyond ‘beginner level’ you need experience, lol.

(And also, ‘why flatter myself with the idea that someone could care that deeply for me and be terrible heartbroken when I realise it's never going to happen ?’

That's another automatic defence mechanism I have; not allowing myself to believe that it could happen to me. Sure, that's depressing to think, but at least I don't set myself up with delusions that could be even more painful when they come crashing down.

I just don't give myself enough credit [yet] to entertain the possibility that I'll one day experience the kind of love that goes both ways.

..... But that doesn't mean I completely shun the plausibility of it happening :p)

So, in regards to the question ……

I'd say that I have loved, but never been in love.

PLAY !

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