Sunday, October 17, 2004

I love you all!

October 17th 2003 'twas a slightly dark and somewhat chilly almost evening, the streetlights barely visible in the twi light. befriended by a dim shade of electricity she sat there. and that is how it began. slowly pacing the web that is distant of contact, her feet finding their way across borders. so it was that she ended up here, falling behind the beat. ok, that's about as interesting as I can build myself up to be, for now. I live and breathe, and therefore I believe myself to be. hm, there's still more (of what hopefully will be considered as more than weird) that wants to come out. fine. I decided it had been, that a place to lay would need to be found, here seemed as comforting as nowhere. resting at the side of her winding path, sensing time brushing gently through the space. hands held out, mind tuned on and life floating further, she awaited. ok, enough babble. here I am, and I'm right here. my age is as seen on the left and so is my whereabouts. for those who desire more there is knowledge to attain, for others a way straight past. make your choice, I'm not going anywhere in particular. I wish all of you the best and that you take good care of yourselves and those surrounded by your thoughts. - Mimmi Haha, that was my very first post here. It could've been worse, I guess :p As you can see I was lazy with capitalizing the beginnings of my sentences, but at least there was some form of consistency and grammar, lol. The following day's post is rather interesting: October 18th 2003 Ok, so yesterday I became a member of the Otaku world. For what reason? Because I have talent in drawing – no. Because I know loads about anime – no. Because I have friends here or looking for new ones – not really. Then is it because I want to share my world of thought with people – in a way, yes. But not really, cause I doubt that I’ll be very successful in updating very often, or have anything important to say for that matter. To make it easier on myself (and for those who should stumble across this place) I’ll simply call it an exercise in communication. A department I’ve not excelled in lately. So where to start ? I could go on from here, or go back and continue forward. Neither is easy, but it has to be one or the other. Or I could stay in some vacuum in between, where I said everything and nothing at the same time. Thereby staying true to my “mission” and not put unnecessary pressure on myself. Ah yes, pressure. Compressing me and the life I know now. Confused, I am :P At the same time as I am reaching out, I become more and more introverted. Closing around myself as a shell. Not healthy, I know. But vital to sustain some form of sanity, although alone. Like I said, or tried to say, in the beginning of this blog (I really like that word) I’m not really looking for friends. Mainly cause I can’t give guarantees on commitment. Which makes my signing up here contradictory, since it is a place for bonds to be made. I guess I see this as a space to take a deep breath and let out all the old air that lingers. Also somewhere to be inspired, reading blogs that evoke thoughts and ideas. And be reminded of how I once was, how I belonged and felt connected. I’d really like to get back to that place, and maybe this is how I can go about it. In future posts, I’ll try to be less vague. It’s an attempt in sounding mature, intelligent and interesting. I don’t know if that’s what I am, we’ll see as I go along. We are all kaleidoscopes, in every eye we are different and unique. - Mimmi Can anyone tell how desolutely lonely I was, heh? At that time my reason for signing up was purely out of the need to have some form of release for all my thoughts and emotions, without being bound to something tangible (like a proper diary). I'd visited theotaku.com for years (well before there was a poetry section, which got taken down) and it felt like a good place to 'settle'. Hehe, at first I was adamant about not adding people to the friends list willy-nilly. The case of 'I read this post/I signed your Guestbook, now let's be friends' didn't work with me. Still doesn't *polite cough* I don't know, haha. Besides, at that point in time I wasn't looking for friends *laughs* My opinion was also that there needed to be some time of introduction and getting to know someone (through comments) before it felt comfortable to put them on a list others could see. Adding people to my friends list is still sporadic and impulsive. And there's this feeling of ... if I add you, then I am making some sort of obligation to visit you and comment. That's done easily in the beginning but once the list starts to grow, well ^_^;;; Ok, ok. So I'm a closet lurker >> Sometimes it's nice to just read people's MyO's anonymously, even though I know how nice it is to get comments on your posts *ashamed* Anyway, enough reminiscing. As some may remember I used to have a cherry blossom avi and ever since then I wanted to incorporate cherry blossoms in my layout. Tada! This beautiful background was found by Googling, again. There were many pretty backgrounds, so I might switch now and then. But the theme will remain Cherry Blossoms ... and Pikachu XD I prepared for a matching avatar, though it might be a while before I'll be able to part with that cutie ^___^ Maybe it can be incorporated as a background for my posts, who knows? Comments, congratulations and chocolate, can be left in the comment box ;p Oooo, the groovy Ben has graced the Literati Square with his word so that means it's Angel's turn ^_^ EDIT: Have I been staring at the screen for too long or is the background color to my posts seriously disturbing?

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