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Birthday
• 1981-08-24
Gender
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Female
Member Since
• 2003-10-17
Occupation
• Grammar Apprentice
Real Name
• Mimmi
Personal
Achievements
• Digging ˝ a Trench. Having SomeGuy over.
Anime Fan Since
• the mid 80's
Favorite Anime
• Naruto, RahXephon, Haibane Renmei, PMK, Ouran HSHC, Death Note, Bleach, Yakitate Japan
Goals
• Less angsting - more energy!
Hobbies
• Tinkering
Talents
• Being incredibly silly
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Thursday, November 27, 2003
Morning was off to a rocky start. I had these weird dreams, where I threw rocks at people and broke glass with my fist (usually when I try to break something in my dreams, it stays intact and I get laughed at… ) A belated reaction to what's been going on, perhaps ? *lol*
But things turned around when I spoke to Karma on AIM. Even though it was raining buckets, I felt pretty upbeat : )
So once again, I am indebted to you sweetheart ; ) oh, and I urge everyone to read Karmas Poetry !
The social insurance office- lady called earlier today and asked how I was doing….
[sarcasm]"Well, after bawling my eyes out to you and three other people, things are looking peachy !"[/sarcasm]
How much can change in one week ?!? I decided not to keel under the pressure, so I said that I was taking things very slowly now. There's no way I'm gonna repeat this emotional storm anytime soon. She got the message and I guess they'll leave me alone for a while.
It's not that I don't want to move forward with my life, in fact I'd gladly do it. But I'm not going to push myself when I'm at my weakest. It'd only backfire and (at the very least) paralyze me for good. Why send yourself packing when you don't have the suitcase ? … err, whatever..
My point is that I know when to fight my battle and when to care for my wounds.
Oddly enough…two days ago I found this poem I wrote 5-7 years ago, when I was sooo tired of school and life in general. It was a cry from my angst ridden soul, a wish to be free of everything that drowned me. Very much like I've felt these past months, only multiplied into oblivion.
I was absolutely blown away that something I wrote way back when, resonated so truly to what I'm going through now. Most of the stuff I wrote was executed in a way that read "look at me", "oh, I feel so depressed and lonely". But this one was stripped to the very chore of essentiality. It was a blue print – a map - to my very being…
Ironically enough, I never showed it to anyone. I asked my parents if they recognized it, but they didn't…
I can't seem to get around translating the latter part of my "winter story". It shouldn't be a problem, the first half pretty much did itself. Maybe I'll get my lazy ass out of the cupboard if I post the first part here ?
… although that would make it weird, because the end would be read before the beginning. Not that there is a beginning and an end… so there really is no problem… *scratches head* I'm being indecisive and ambivalent ~_^
Take care of yourselves and your loved ones.
- Mimmi
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