Thursday, December 2, 2004

I will miss our conversations

First off I want to apologise for shirking off returning Guestbook signatures and actually commenting back on comments. The latter one makes me feel really guilty =X You're all so wonderful and supportive, so it's sad to think I'm not giving back half as much as I get. Will remedy that somehow *nods* This next part is depressing, so don't highlight if you want to stay in a happy/carefree mood ^_^; July 4th 2001 - I was working as a papergirl and a guy tried to rape me as I was doing my round. It was shortly after 4 in the morning. Thanks to my dad and assistance from the police (it really should've been the other way around *rolls eyes*) the guy was caught and sentenced to prison time. It took a while to come around and when I finally did, some weird sickness came down on me. That crippled me for the better part of a year, whoopee. But eventually I got help and started to recover, fully. So it's kind of funny how, now that I was seriously ready to move forward, things happened that didn't allow for that. Well, not funny in that sense. More of a twisted irony since it's been a repetitive cycle these past years. (Horrible stuff - recover - horrible stuff - recover. Et infinitum.) The guy that tried to rape me was released after he'd completed his sentence, raped a woman shortly thereafter, got sentenced to jail again, got out this October and raped another woman a week or so ago. None of that was ever reported to me. Maybe it was nice that they let me live my life in ignorant bliss.... Bah, I should've been informed. Anyway, he's not in the custody of the police. Which means he's roaming my town and I'm confined to the house. For those who think I'm overreacting and should go out there and 'reclaim the street', ponder this: He failed to get what he wanted from me. The next two women he tried this with, he forcefully got his way with. It's only logical to think he's lost quite a bit of inihibition (not to mention sanity... if he had any of those two componants before all of this...) and so it isn't too farfetched to think that if he came upon me he'd get into his head to do it properly this time. I actually spoke to dad about this and thought he'd shrug it off, saying I was silly to go that far. But he agreed. That means a lot, seeing as it's my dad we're talking about. Mhm. That's the updated version for everyone. I've not wanted to go through this with anyone when they've spoken to me on AIM or throw it in peoples faces when they come around here, because I'm rather safe in the house. Even though I'm paranoid about pulling the blinds up in my room and am constantly looking out windows to make sure he's not out there. (This stems from dreams I've had about him lurking in the garden and appearing outside the house in general.) [EDIT] I went out to the post office and it wasn't a nice walk. Constantly looking over your shoulder and making sure there were people around where I walked made it more like a bad horror movie where you're yelling at the stupid girl not to go down into the dark basement. And it was extemely foggy outside. Did I mention this guy likes to stalk people? To see if they notice him? Yeah. Great stuff. /EDIT I showed Azure some of my wallpaper progress yesterday and according to him it doesn't look too bad ^__^ It's been a lot of fun and I've even learned how to put a shadow on stuff... and used that ability waaaay too much >>;;; Hehe, I might get many different ideas but the execution of it is pretty standard and repetitive ^_^; And also, I got "The Big Store" on DVD yesterday! It's my favourite Marx Brothers movie and I've waited a long time to see it again ;_; Should be interesting to see if it's as good as I remember it to be, lol. I love you all!

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