Thursday, January 22, 2004

" As Box and Naked Mining Guy climb higher they start to notice a change "


" What has Box so excited ? "

It's a double-whammy picture day ! ^_^

(ok, so I thought the first picture didn't stand too good on its own.... it does serve a purpose though, which you will see further down the ladder--- line ~_^ )

Any guesses on what has Box so excited ?

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[I wrote some more stuff regarding communication, only a bit more personal.
Reading this is entirely optional.This isn't aimed at anyone.
It is simply an extract from my brain]
Past Communication
I was silent during the first three years of my life.
There was no need to talk, my mom could read me perfectly and to everyone else I was the token sweet child.
Meaning they had no interest in communicating with me, mainly wanting me around because I was less of a hassle than others. ( ie, you could bowl me over and get away with it )

Even though my own communication was limited, I absolutely loved every aspect of it.
I would absorb everything, but never apply my knowledge.
Because there was no need for it.

And so it went on, for many years.

I did try to reach out to my classmates a bit more, around the age of 10-11, but by then the information I had gathered was outdated.
Making my communicational attempts blow up in my face.
For a while I wavered between trying harder and finding new ways to bond with people.
But in the end it was easier to fall back on old routines and habits.

Things changed slightly when I entered my teens.

I guess all that intake was dying for an outlet, so I started to write.
Or at least write more.

( I can't begin to tell you how many notes I've put on my door in my youth, when I was upset and unable to speak )

What I wrote back then was incredibly angsty and ironically enough, people loved it.
I'm sure I meant for my creativity to function as some sort of passage – an attempt to leave behind the pain that lingered.
But people encouraged me to stay in that darkness so much, that I decided the attention was worth more than closure and possible happiness.

So even if I communicated, I felt more silenced than ever during those 3 years of school.
Things were pouring out of me, but no one listened – and at some point I decided to stay in the image they wanted me to portray.

It felt better to be wanted for anything, than to be pushed away for not heeding to their wants and needs.

The turning point came when I was 17.

It was fairly undramatic, at least if you consider how disastrous it could've been.
After that I've been slowly, and initially painstakingly, (re)discovered communication and how to work it in my favour.

( For someone who hasn't communicated at all – to experiencing an overwhelming desire to tell the world they saw a hedgehog – it feels like having your sanity ripped out repeatedly. )

Present communication
In some ways I find myself changed, in that I now have more of an identity and aren't as afraid to claim my right to be heard.
I now believe that what I have to say matters (to some extent), even if someone is patting me on the head – or completely ignoring what I say – I feel free to throw my glove and say … [insert phrase here]…

So nowadays it's funny when I come across people who are all about themselves, whereas before it would seriously hurt me and make me feel used.

It is truly amusing and a wonderful opportunity to further analyze communication ( as well as psychology, but I won't go there today ~_^ ) in all its shapes and forms.

I'm not going to try and tell them to snap out of it, nor to ask them to acknowledge others as much as themselves.

It's up to each person how they choose to communicate with me (or others) – and it's equally my choice to return the favour … Or not .

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I'm sure what I've written in this post and in the previous one is incredibly rambly =^_^=
And like I said, it's not aimed at anyone - just so that we're perfectly clear ~_^

I'm sure what I wrote applies to myself as well :p

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" It's Box in a box ! "

My Ego and I would like to thank all you wonderful people for supplying such an abundance of goody Badness ~_^

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Take Care Everyone !

Remember that Objects and People are only as much fun as you make of them ^_^

- Mimmi (basking in her Badness )

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