Saturday, March 27, 2004

A tale of a story that never was...
This "story" was never really ment to go further than the first section.
But the next day I went for a walk and it inspired me to write the ending. So I put the inspiration to use and wrote a middle part for it as well.

Thanks to everyone who has already read it and reads it now. I appreciate it ^_^

"Tainted Hands"
Today I got the latest instalment of a manga magazine and my hands eagerly flipped the pages, my lips curving in a smile as I followed the adventures of my favourite characters. But as I was putting the magazine away, chuckling lightly, I noticed the printing ink on my hands.

And I remembered....

My fingers used to be black after thumbing hundreds of papers. Sometimes there would be dark blotches on my face, after I'd scratched an itchy nose, or tried to fend off the sleep from my eyes.

Seeing it on my hands had always filled me with a sense of accomplishment, pride even. Like when you were young and someone would smile and ruffle your hair, praising even the smallest of feats.

It was subtle joy, and I miss it....

---

A deep sigh escaped my lips as I beheld the warm water dance like grey clouds down the sink. The soap had cleansed my inked hands, but could not strip me of the visions that tainted and poisoned the soul.

Distant memories are always closest to your heart...

To this day I can still recall every insignificant detail, all those feelings that rushed through me like wild fairies on a late summer's eve. It's funny how, even after all this time, its vibrancy has not faded...

Why didn't I take better care of those moments then, instead of now clinging to them ... mutating them into an infection, a disease ?

They're long gone now, though...

---

Quietly struggling with shoelaces, my eyes tried to shut out the pressing tears and look ahead. The dimly lit hallway cast shadows on my dark mind, slowly suffocating and drowning the life that fought to surge through me again.

I can still feel it...

The sweet sensation as my hands slowly move across the smooth surface and the wind trying to snatch the pages from me, a childish attempt to beckon for attention. Early rays of sunlight blinding sleepy eyes. Looking over the shoulder curiously, trying to decipher my playful smile.

An innocent, healthy high... Contained ecstasy.

It's still a part of me.. still here ?

---

With a desperate groan and lungs burning for air, I threw myself at the door and staggered out into the light of day. Blocking out everything but the black tar passing under my feet, I ran to the beating of my anguished heart and allowed the pain to bleed from my eyes.

Wait...stop....what is that ?...

Time always slowed down to a gentle pace when I delved into that world. Nothing else mattered once I got there and I would embrace it like a lover, feed it with the passion that scorched the other world so badly. Cradled in its gentle arms I would slumber peacefully, safe.

My voice is.. failing me... can't call for it.. to return... Where.. where is it ? I need... I want...

No. Look...

---

I violently snapped back to reality and realised I had come to a complete halt. The ferocious winds shook my weak body, forcing me to gasp for air; a clear blue sky leant down and captured my weary eyes... warm beams eagerly soaked up my tears.

Can you see it ?...

A baffled giggle slipped out as I stood there, lost like a fool that tricked you to smile, even though you were determined to pout until all sweetness had soured. I could never resist that coaxing sillyness, I loved to lose that game.... I really did.

You'll be fine...

Carefully looking around, I noticed a single piece of paper swirling aimlessly in the wind. It seemed as though it was jerked between two hands fighting to read it, brutally handling the delicate sheet.

It looked tired, as if it would shred apart at any given moment. Barely able to stay together, crying to be released from the harsh hands that tortured it.

Take it back... take it all back.

The End.
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