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Birthday
• 1981-08-24
Gender
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Female
Member Since
• 2003-10-17
Occupation
• Grammar Apprentice
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• Mimmi
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Achievements
• Digging ½ a Trench. Having SomeGuy over.
Anime Fan Since
• the mid 80's
Favorite Anime
• Naruto, RahXephon, Haibane Renmei, PMK, Ouran HSHC, Death Note, Bleach, Yakitate Japan
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• Less angsting - more energy!
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• Tinkering
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• Being incredibly silly
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Monday, April 12, 2004
You know… I had things I wanted to write about today. Like the two dreams I had last night. But I decided not to. They were so completely different and would cancel each other out. I sat down at the computer immediately after I woke. That took away some of the disturbed feelings away, thankfully. I really didn't want to start the day crying, heh.
After wallowing in the praise you lovely people give so generously, I thought I'd spend the day inside and write some moreon the 'follow up' that I began working on yesterday. I'm blaming Becky for this one, simply because she said "I hope you keep working on it". At first I felt a bit disheartened, seeing how the story was meant to end there and I read it as it needed to be worked at more.
But
I then understood what you were saying and I am really thankful that you did. Because you were right, there is more.... I just didn't want to acknowledge it. It felt easier to say 'this is all there is, enjoy the vagueness' and not... take responsibility, in a way.
You see, the last time I tried to write a story that wasn't an essay about an event in my life, or a story that wasn't based on something I had experienced, it turned out horrible. I was 15 years old and was assigned to write a story about someone who lived in Greece, during its glory days (the title of the period escapes me… and it's probably called something else in English… ).
Anyway, it convinced me that all I could write [somewhat] decently, were poems. So I've never applied myself to writing short stories. Instead of challenging myself to explore what I could do with [*cough*mytalent*cough*] what I had, I ignored it and comforted myself with what I trusted I could do well.
Now… [dramatic pause]… I feel that it's the right time to give it a try. The 'Reanimatrix thread' really opened a big door for me, somehow. It's difficult to explain, but … maybe one day I'll be able to word exactly what happened *smiles*
Back to my point, hehe. This morning came off to a bad start, but after reading a couple of MyO's, I felt a bit better. I had planned to write on the story and play videogames, not doing anything really... but I didn't.
Do you know what I did ? ~_^
I took a book, two blankets and sat down in a sun chair on the terrace. The sun was up and the rays were warm, but it was still a bit chilly. I'd normally let this discourage me and crawl back into my room, growling at the weather for intercepting my attempt to get some cosy time. But not today. Nope, I wrapped the blankets around me and began reading my book.
Two hours later, I still sat there, now warmed up by the sun. It was absolutely wonderful, to just sit there and be there. Peaceful.... I came in to write this post and now I think I'll go outside again. Maybe I'll read some more, or perhaps just sit there and enjoy our garden. Soak up the sun and feel alive.
Take Care Everyone !
You are all so beautiful, to me ^_^
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