Thursday, April 6, 2006

Knocked out, over and away

Dad's home. We took him home, with the doctor's permission. I'm in the usual 'crash and burn' mode but will try to tackle the comments now.


Saturday, April 1

Shinmaru: Haha, I remember when I came back to bowling after a few weeks of not going to the lanes. Boy did I ever stink. I got scores almost as bad as they were when I first started bowling lol.

Ouchies, I guess bowling is something you gotta keep up with or the game'll get bad if you don't hit the lanes every once in a while. Best of strikes to you!


Inda2: Yeah i'm not that social ethier. The friends i'm really tight with is my anime lover friends.

It's good that you've got a clique to fall back on.


Sarah: I dance in and out of extroversion and introversion, it honestly depends on my mood. I don't really try, and neither should you, friendships have always just kind of happened for me and while I don't have the biggest groups of friends, I do have a really good and solid group of people that I can depend on and vice versa. So yes, beautiful, the people that love you will always love you. No sweat.

*hugs* Sometimes you need the alone time, I hear ya. And it's not like I'd have the energy to suddenly manage a large group of friends anyway, heh. Better to take it slowly.

Sean: Hrm ... to anyone else this is going to sound like I'm not conscious of the various issues going on here, and I can of course only know as much as you tell me, but I think I know enough to not be construed as insensitive when I say that you have to stop being so defeatist. I know this situation, and so do some of my friends. Of course it's tonnes easier to just sit quietly whilst everyone else chats away, but it's a really bad idea in the long term, because it doesn't just suggest shyness, but aloofness too - and that doesn't make for an approachable person in other people's eyes.

You are NOT a bad person. You don't deserve to feel that your own marginalisation in social situations is in any way necessary, because I know from how friendly and articulate you are on-line that you are capable of making some improvements. Friends of siblings and of friends often don't think to greet someone they've never met before or have else seen but never spoken to, but that's not because they view you in negative terms; it's more that they haven't had a chance to know you and figure out your character yet. Nobody with a scrap of niceness is them will begrudge you any small contribution to a conversation, and they're far more likely to ignore or form a low impression of someone who doesn't attempt to get involved. Trust me - the smallest step can really help you to feel better about yourself. Last week I briefly talked to some people who'd I spent an hour each week in the company of but who I hadn't spoken to pre-seminar before. You don't have to get involved in a fully fledged conversation to feel like your voice is being heard - it can literally be a few questions or a comment building on some general topic that somebody else starts talking about. It'll be far more interesting and satisfying for both you and the people involved - but if it isn't, don't give up. Nobody out there gets on with everyone else. The fact that there was that one girl who did pay you attention proves that you don't deserve to be seen in a negative way, so why not make that known to the rest of the company?

People are definitely intimidated by a person who acts self-effacing the first time they meet. That's obviously not to say that when you do make some local friends, you have to keep your troubles under wraps for fear they'll become distanced. Make a positive first impression - we all know that you can come off very quickly as someone people want to befriend, and enjoy your time with other people rather than reflecting on things you may have done wrong or failings in yourself. Go with the flow and don't hide away when you make the odd mistake - chances are, it won't be a tragedy, and you can just brush it off.

When friends hang out, it's not because they're clingy; it's because they genuinely enjoy each another's company. Don't feel like you have to put such a negative spin on things - you're a lovely chick, and I'm sure nobody would see you as annoying if - when established as a friend - you disclosed some concerns. I know I don't view you in a bad light for telling me certain things. In fact, it's really nice to be trusted with such personal stuff, and I take it all extremely seriously. I worry about you, man, because some things you say remind you so much of how I used to be and am still in part - and it saddens me that so many people feel like they have to be trapped in that dreadful, isolated state.

The transition will be emotional, but it will also be exciting and you'll be glad you undertook it - and if things aren't working out, remember that there are always trained professionals and on-line friends who you can turn to for a little catharsis and some help. ^____^ I'm not trying to be harsh on you here - primarily, I want to reassure you that people do care about you and that you deserve more attention than you have received previously. You've suffered unfairly, and it needs to be remedied. Don't give up!

*hugs*

You're absolutely right, both this time and all the other times I've moaned about my issues *hides* Which makes me feel really rude because it's like agreeing there shouldn't be any steak in pancakes and adding them in anyway. Or something, heh.

That entry (along with what most be a thousand others) goes to show I shouldn't write up a post in those kind of moods. While they're a true account for what I'm going through at that moment/time, it does wind down once I snap out of it. My outburst was a combination between a couple of realizations, one being that Eleine and Juliette's friends wouldn't automatically be mine just because we're sisters. These people need to get to know me and vice versa.

During the bowling I did think about stretching my hand out to say "Hey, my name is Mimmi" but, considering my attitude, it might've come off very .... aggressive, you know? I was trying so hard not to be annoying and overbearing that it made me upset when they didn't acknowledge me; as if nothing I ever do will garner positive feedback, almost. *tries to refrain from making a silly reference to a dog doing a trick and not getting a treat*

I will persevere, though! .... Suddenly I feel like Naruto *laughs* Except I'm not a boy or a ninja. Though the blonde hair and daftness is something we have in common :p


Beckles: *Hugs* Don't give up on yourself, chica... you're a lovely person, and a joy to know and talk to. It isn't clingy to want to be acknowledged and spoken to, and I know how hard it is to make friends when you're so shy. Just don't bury yourself just yet. There're people out there who are going to love you as much as we do.

The next time I feel like giving up, I'll read that entry and the comments again. It should straighten me up pretty swiftly *hugs lots*


John: I had decided that I couldn't really think of exactly what I wanted to say, or how to put it into words after I'd even thought of it, but then I read Pyro's comment and it hit the nail right on the head and proceeded to drive in some more nails as well (that... sounds bad, but it's not. >_>;;). So I'm thinking that I might take "ditto" on as a fulltime commenting technique. =)

And don't worry, I saw some professional bowling on TV today, and they were doing... pretty dang bad, lol, instead of the usual strike-strike-spare-strike tendency. So every bowler's got their bad days, don't you worry. :P

You're always so optimistic towards me, you bastard! I'm gonna call you Albert Alfred from now on :p You may call me Bruce.

(EDIT: I think I'm suffering from a sympathy aneurism.)


Shimmy-Loo: Update! I bowled again yesterday after not bowling for about a month, and I was terrible. XD

Awwwww, Shimmy lost his mojo =( Better scour the lanes for it. I'll do the same and together we'll have them balls quivering in their sockets. Word.


Monday, April 3
Liam: *loves back* Keep that smile on your face, sunshine :3

Slick: *hugs* It's good to have dad back with us, instead of worrying about how he was doing at the hospital.

Clair: Hey you *hugs* Wow, it's been a while since I saw you. How's your singing coming along? Gotten to do any solo parts in the choir? *makes note to catch up on your myo*

Shimmy-Loo: Yeah, it was frightening to all of us, in different ways. Now we just gotta focus on taking it easy and be supportive in any way we can. The rest will right itself out.

Becky: Oh man, hehe. I've kinda neglected myself for some time now, which is catching up with me speedily, so mebbe that's a good idea.

*thinks of Calcifer and smiles* "Howl's moving castle" stole my heart. It's actually stolen it repeatedly during my many viewings. *hugs*

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