Friday, June 23, 2006

   Not counting any chickens, yet

John: You might be right on the money *sneaky sneaky*

Becky: I will! With panache!

Samie: Sucky suckage =( Hopefully you're not sick and won't be for a long while =)

Shimmy-Loo: Thanks *hugs* What we wouldn't give for more low-key colds, eh? lol

Shabam: *giggles and hugs* You're a lovely nurse ;3

Slick: Muchos gracias for sending the world! It brought some inspiration along =D

Evil: *super snog*

HC: XD That totally made me laugh, which is hard to accomplish when I'm sick! *hugs*

Tori: Love ya too, Brawlin' Barbie _^_

---

A long time ago I played a game of Literati. The first two words put down were Swishy and Rogues. My brain overflowed with inspiration, naturally, at the sight of this. All (or at least most of) the words were noted down to be inserted in a mini-short story. Almost 2 pages got written shortly after the game ended but it wasn't until today that I polished it up slightly.

( Feel free to advice me how to grammatically write conversations because I honestly have no clue how to ^_^;;; Any other suggestion is welcomed, also. )

It's nothing spectacular, just something that came out of amusement. The Literati words are bolded. I dedicate this to John =)

The Impudence!
A pirate band of swishy rouges, The Swoosh Triad, under the command of Ed Dweeb had just captured their no1 nemesis after a gruelling fight. Captain Dweeb was giving said nemesis a steely glare (the one he’d don when he was crosser than cross). Some said that the glare could scorch the very soul of the damned.

“Arrr” he finally growled through gritted teeth “Tis a shame you’re swearing to be mah mortal combattant, elst you could’ve been a mighty fine asset to this here crew”

Snickers were heard here and there in the gathered group but were soon silenced at the barks from their captive who scanned them with sharp eyes.

“Ay, laugh all ye want but this here asset is connected to a pair of spangly knuckles that’ll dish out a good whooping when I get my hands on ya and that’s all some of ya’lls’ asses will get for a good two weeks, mark mah words!”

The complacent tone seething with fury sent Dweeb roaring with laughter that nearly toppled him over. Once he regained his posture again he bent down to ruffle the angered woman’s curly raven hair. It sure was hard to stay mad at her when you were met with a face contorted to the indignant rage of a 3-year old, with a pout to match.

“Now, now mah lovely darling Grace. How’s about we start over an’ try to get on a good heel with each other?”

She snorted and stuck her nose in the air defiantly to further drive home the point of her outrage.

The two of them had fought many battles in the 8 years she’d been the chef of his band and she only got more steadfast in her stubbornness with each year. Unlike other days, this morning’s display didn’t amuse Dweeb, his menacing frown slowly returning. A famined crew would be tricky to command, not to mention they’d be useless in an eventual battle with rivalling bands or the Sea Dogs. Clearly they’d get nowhere with the gloves on.

“I do not take abuse on one’s own team lightly so this here mess better be sorted out, lest I dangle ye over the water an’ have the sharks teach you some table manner” he growled.

“Eh?! I don’t see why I’m the one in the wrong here, especially since my manners ain’t got nothing on that pathetic brute Slawb! Why’s it me getting the shouting at?”

“You shoved broccoli stems up his nose an’ stuffed his mouth with mouldy peas!”

“Aye, and lemme tell ya he looked a whole sight better when that ghastly excuse for a moustache couldn’t be seen an’ it sure was a blessing to see peas comin’ out of his mouth an’ not that holy tripe he always spew in my galley. I say he should apologise for making me do it an’ the rest of the crew should thank me for putting him in his place!”

She nodded resolutely before resuming her scans of the crewmembers, taking careful note of those who dared give her lip. Dweeb sighed half-hearted while rubbing his beard, rather tired of wasting precious time on trivial matters. After some thinking

“Arrr, listen to me missy. The crew’s nigh on starving so what’re you sayin’ it’ll take to get that sunshine smile beaming again an’ the stove cookin’?”

Grace peered at him with one eye. Everyone held their breath; the Captain being so gratuitous with unruly subordinates was unheard of before now. Giving such leeway to that woman sure didn’t bode well.

“I want that scum to beg real purdy for my forgiveness” she jerked her head in Slawb’s direction “and all them others should praise me for gracing a rotten crew with my mere presence as it blesses them more than Heaven could ever hope to.” A smug grin curled over her lips when she finished. The captain nodded absentmindedly as wet a finger and held it up to the wind.

“Slawb, you heard her.”

“I beg your pardon?!” Slawb brawled.

“There you go, Miss Grace” Dweeb quickly intercepted before any further protesting was issued and turned to his men “Now all’yall say ‘Thank you’ to Grace for providin’ us with our daily dose of God’s wrath towards all that is unholy and good on the count of three. 1,2,3 --“

“Thank you”, they all murmured unenthusiastically. Grace’s jaw dropped, too dumbstruck to begin objecting at what she thought was yet another grave injustice being done to her.

“Ah, that’s that done. Repentance an’ gratitude as per requested by one Miss Grace Hannel. High time to scurvy to your posts, men, I feel the wind turning to our favour. Oh, an’ somebody release the lasso from our lurvely chef. I’m sure it can be of better use than to restrain her.”

The Captain turned on his heel and swaggered nonchalantly back to his quarters through the scattering crowd, stroking his beard satisfactory. While he was pleased with the outcome it was clear that some more permanent action had to be taken. Farces like this had no place on his ship. Life on sea was already rough; he didn’t want to play nanny and mediator in Grace’s continual and nonsensical squabbles. If given the choice between two evils, he’d much rather play a game of boule with the Navy Commander’s wife.

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