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myOtaku.com: Minako


Sunday, August 20, 2006


Thoughts in an Airport
[ mood | *shrug* ]
[ music | "Broken" by Jack Johnson ]

Date: 8/19/2006 Saturday
Time/Place: 6:09 PM, Shanghai Pudong Airport


I’ve always felt that I am destined for great things. Lately, I’ve wanted to write something epic. Sometimes, it’s in music, art, or science; all things that others have said that I’m good at. I’m not at all sure why I think that I’m meant to be something great. All my life, my teachers and classmates have all said that I was a good student. So much so that some teachers have nominated me for prestigious awards and an entrance into our school’s division of NHS. They also wrote me letters of recommendation that helped me get into a prestigious university. My parents have always pushed me to do my best, and to excel at all the things I did in school: get good grades, play violin well, be in extra-curricular activities, etc. They expected no less than the best I could give, and I believe I gave it to them. Others have said that I am a “good kid.” Now that I’ve grown (at least somewhat) they’ve started to see me differently. They see me as an equal, not just he kid that my parents dragged along. Everyone sees me as a good student, a hard worker, and a girl with big dreams. Does this mean that I’m meant for great things? Because they so?

Perhaps it’s true that I will do great things in my life. Who knows? I could cure cancer for all I know. Though, if I WON’T do great things in my life, I’ll have felt that I let everyone down; my family, my teachers, schoolmates, friends, mentors…as well as myself. I’ve always taken myself very seriously. I’ve pushed myself to the breaking point in trying to achieve my goals, as well as others’ expectations of me. I can also have a short fuse sometimes, and, at times, I can be very impatient with other people. (I guess being an only child in an upper-middle-class family has its short-comings, eh?) I guess that’s why I push myself, to override my flaws. I’ve always had this pressure to do great things with my life. That’s why if I don’t do great things in the future, I’ll feel that all this “self discipline” I’ve put myself through will be a waste. I’ll probably think, “I wasn’t able to do what I was ‘meant’ to do. I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough.”

So, will I be destined for great things? Everyone has told me so. So much so that it has been engrained into my mind. I guess the only answer to my question, that I can see, is that only time will tell. Ask me again in 50 years whether or not I’ve done something with my life. Hopefully, I’ll be able to answer it.

~Minako

P.S: How do you like the new layout?

I didn't know what I was lookin for so I
didn't know what I'd find
I didn't know what I was missin I guess
you'd been just a little too kind
and if I find just what I need
put a little peace in my mind
maybe you been lookin' too
or maybe you don't even need to try...


~"Broken" by Jack Johnson

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