myOtaku.com: miroku is mine

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Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-02-06
Gender
• Female
Location
• Somewhere forgotten
Member Since
• 2005-02-16
Occupation
• Taking care of myself
Real Name
• Mimmy

Personal

Achievements
• building my life over again
Anime Fan Since
• 2004
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha & Fullmetal Alchemist & Ghost In The Shell
Goals
• To remeber what its like to be a teen
Hobbies
• Reading, Writing, being quiet
Talents
• swimming, writing

myOtaku.com: miroku is mine

Sunday, November 13, 2005

My Break down thoughts
I guess the whole point of this post is to sit here and write my heart out...so this might be long and i mean really long...

I feel terrible, something goes right but then something happens to make it worse. Everything is turning on me, nothing is right. I just have this feeling that somethings there...but i cant see it. It haunts me, i think it wants to help and watch me, but im not sure. Maybe its my immagination, or maybe its real. What ever it is its terrifying...
I keep hearing them in my head. They wont go away...i bleed away my pain, never crying, cause there is no pain. They yell day and night, never making up their mind. Im going insane...
Keep hidden i tell myself, but what exactly does that mean? What does anything mean anymore? Everything is a blurr...Nights turn into days, and days turn into nights. It just happens so fast...and i cant stop it...
I cant stop anything! Nothing at all! I cant stop you, or time, or my bleeding, or my death which i welcome so. Death would it make me happier? I bet it would... Cause then everything would stop...
Please forgive my bloody soul, broken life. We said till death do us part. So heres my death, and now we part. your free to go with her. Watch the kids please, they need you in their life...they need everything, everybody, but me...
Nobody needs me, im poor in heart. Will this thing that follows me help me or will it stay with me in death to? Wheres my gardian angel? Huh? It gave up on me just like everyone else did, just like every fucking thing did...i envy the dead...and im greedy of my broken soul.
I have come to the point where I lust for blood, my own blood...I wish to see my pretty little wrist, which are covered in bracelets, bleed their veins out. It drips with no pain, and its so bright too.
The full moon makes me wonder...why am i like this...why is my soul broken, why dont i have feelings? I cant even cry for the dead, why? Why wont they go away and LEAVE ME ALONE?
Kill me, betray me, hurt me, murder me, cut me, love me, hate me, kiss me, and let me be me...
Thats all i ask from you. And im tired of liying...
Do this for me, just this once..
For then i can be whole again...

Till another day,
~NightmaresEyes~

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