Wednesday, April 20, 2005

ummmk....
well i went home today early from school because i was having a bad day, and i got flippen last chair in orchestra, i hate my life, and how the hell is joey online when he is supposed to be at school?!
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

hey i have a new poem!!! YAY wanna see it~!?

she screams
silent screams of a tortured soul
she cries but no one sees her


she remembers what he said
her screams don't comfort her any longer
her hands in fists
knuckles white
nails digging into her palms

she parts her hair with her daddy's razor
and slowly brings it to her arms
and slowly she carves a name
the pain doesn't hurt her
nothing could be worse that what he said to her
the blade slowly numbing her soul
letter by letter the name appears
clear and bright with crimson strokes

her tears finally stop falling on the cold floor
and the final cut
deeper and deeper she cut
her life going black
just like her heart
her eyes grow cold
her delicate hands icy
her heart stops all though it seemed to have stoped along time ago
she lays there in silence
broken

the ambulance arrives
flashing lights reflecting off the walls
she is taken out on a stretcher
he sees her
runs to her side
seeing what he had done he holds her close to him
as he holds up her arm
he finally sees
he finally sees the pain he has caused her
they take her away and pronounce her dead on the scene

what she inscribed on her arm
J
O
E
Y
please don't do this to me


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   SICK!
well i did end up going to the movies last night but i couldent get silven to go... so it compleatly sucked ass, and i have strep throat, i hate my life.... the only good thing about this is i dont have to go to school tomorrow. meh....i miss silven!
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Friday, April 15, 2005

meh..................
i dont feel good.. and my date is tomorrow... i need to get feelin' better... meh... ttyl.
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

so confused
oi... i dont know what to do... i love silven.. but still my heart yurns fer joey... i know he is an ass and wont treat me right but why am i still drawn to him so? i think i need help before i slip and drown in my own tears and darkness of a confused mind.
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

OMG OMG OMG
omg.. i was talking to silven on the phone.. and he asked me out on a date! its gonna be my verry first date!! YAY! i think im over joey.. tho i still sorta like him... YAY YAYYAYAYAYA!!!!
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Saturday, April 9, 2005

   SOO HAPPY!
omg.. ok ill start from the start. today at school...... joey was such an ass. and so after school i was walking home from my friends house and when i left my house to go skating i was in the car.. and joey was over by where i live.. i was soo mad. because i havent seen him around me at all. so i was soo pissed. i almost cryed.. but when i got to the ice rink my friend silven was there.. and he like really likes me and i kinda like him alot too.
and we were in the locker room alone.. in the dark! lol jk nothin happend but i was talking to him and he said he liked me and me too. and he had this over shirt on and he like took it off when we were skating.. lol he left it at the rink.. he left before me so i saw it and took it.. lol ok im done.. yea that was all out of order but im too happy and tierd.. im gonna call him tomrroww!YAYYAYAYAY!
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Thursday, April 7, 2005

........
well the plan for friday is off.. kyle broke up with lisha.. so joey wont be coming skating.. im like soo obbsessed.. im drawing joey another picture with soccer... cards... and cars.. and rolling stones/franz ferdinand colage... i hope he likes it.. or am i just wasting my time?

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Monday, April 4, 2005

   WOOPPIE!~!!!!
YAY guess who won the fort collions competition!!! ME!! lol it was my first time compeating in a pre-prelim setting... and i had won both catagories!! YAY!! lol i had soo manny complememnts.... YAY. and on thursday before i left, i gave joey a note saying that i didnt appreciate the way he was treating me. and i told him i liked him. and that if he had/has a problem with me that he needs to say it to my face. no reply yet... but i didnt let him ruin my weekend, i think that if i had it would have ruined my whole chances of winning. and when i saw him at school.... i still got that feeling that i get every time that i do see him, but i didnt show it. i ignored him the whole day. i think i might be over him.. but it still pains me to see him with another girl i dont think that they are going out but it seams like he likes her and she likes him... i dunno tho. but yay! go me! has any one seen that movie hangman's curse? its like the best movie ever! YAY g2g bye bye!

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

sadness
well this last day was horrible... i cryed for no reason.. but joey. i wrote a powerfull poem about how i feel.... Rejection by kayla arrigo

You know you want him but you're tourtured by rejection
the hollow resounding saddness
and depression
crimson blood fills your veins no matter what you do you cant get through the pain...
so... you cry yourself to sleep
at night, relizing you've lost the fight..
But. in your pain you begin to see, your life doesnt need this misery.

so the next few days you hold your head high...
they always say time will get you by... but who are they to say. if they only knew.


thats just the first part.... here is the second...

Rejection*continued*

all though u pretend,
pretending isnt enough,
all though you dont seem to care, deep down you are crying inside.

Take the edge off the sharp knife twisting inside me each time i see him.. each time i hear his voice.

shal i shade my eyes, darken my candle, isolate myslef from the rest of the world?

or maybe i should give it all up? plunge into the dark depths of cold logic let the icy waters numb my pain...


yea thats just alitte bit about how i felt yesterday..

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