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Birthday
• 1986-05-21
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Female
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• Subang Jaya
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• 2005-01-29
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• Graphic Designer
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• Amber Ling
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• Year 2000
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• Samurai X..Inuyasha..Fullmetal alchemist..Saiyuki..Rave..Gundam Seed..and alot more
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• Art Designer
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• Drawing....Writing..
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• i'm an executive in GD
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Monday, June 25, 2007
nothing changes.. entry no. 88
hi..it's been a long time i've didn't come here to speak my words out.
just recently, i was nearly kicked out of my dad's house because of my laziness and incompetent fool side of my part.. my dad was so furois that all i did was cry.
but i consulted with my mum, and i got the advice which didn;t help me at all because i felt like shit at that time. my dad told me to pack all my belongings and wait out side of the house to pick me up to bring me back to my mom's place.
i waited and waited..,.while i waited, i kept thinking to myself what did i do wrong? why am i a big dissapointment? i answered, i am a burden to them when i felt like not lifting a single hand to help around the house and all i did was just being helpless to them. to me i'm a rubbish to them. everyday we have to pick our rubbish and throw them away.
i was thinking i still have time..maybe i could run away and never coming back! but that's not it, that's just a shortcut..easy to run away but difficult to face problem cuz everytime i runaway, i come back to my problems.
i don't want that..i feel like a big burden that in anytime my parents can just throw me out from my comfort zone. i feel like drowning myself in the reds and seas of damned because for all my life, i know i've been a burden to them. my family..maybe it's best if all these could be erase with just a blink of an eye.
that happen last 2 days .. and when my dad came back..i didn't confront him to give me another chance..he gave me another chance..he told me i am useless when i do not make the effort in making evrything right.
all my life, i've been told to change my ways. it doesn't mean change who you are.. it meant be a better person. but i just throw those advice away. i close myself from people because i kow, if a person were to see me these way, they will leave me again.
so now, i concentrating on doing things just to keep me occupied and not being the burden to anyone. but deep down, i know i'm still a burden. nothing changes..just the surroundings around me!
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