Thursday, October 7, 2004

Silence - FFVIII
Jebus Crisis! ARGH!!! *rips hair out* I hate hate hate hate hate Mr. Knaus!!! I'm afraid to write my ICE essay now, because of how mean he was today and yesterday, telling us that we were worthless writers. I don't want to write about anything! I don't supposed anyone else would have essay ideas for the Stamp Act, either. -.-;

Thanks for the lovely comments before. I know, I don't think I'd ever really commit suicide - I'm too chicken. But I was looking out the math class window, thinking about how high it was, and I thought of that. ^_^;
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Monday, October 4, 2004

I wish you would step back from that ledge
I absolutely abhore my Pre-Calc class, because my teacher is such a jerk. V_V She really has no idea how to teach, and doesn't show the algebra. She's like: "This is what you start out with and this is the answer." (?) Um... could you be any more VAGUE?!?!

I can hardly see the board, and I spend some of my time either looking out the window, to avoid looking at anyone.

If I ever did commit suicide, the coolest thing would be falling out a high window. I mean, I'm slim enough to fit through the school windows. ^_^
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Friday, October 1, 2004

Downloading and Elections
I was inspired by Ken's blog to do a normal post. I'm responding to some things in his myO today. I'll try and make this comprehensible

Downloading
Remember the whole "downloading" epidemic? The one where the feds were suing kids for downloading songs too much? Yeah, that one. What's your opinion on it?

I don't download anymore because I don't want to get in trouble with the feds - or worse: my mother, and the program I was using, Grokster, had this insanely fugly spyware that was killing my computer (Not that it's much better now. My comp always suckz0R. :/)

I used to use it for checking out songs before I bought the CD, because I felt guilty for "stealing" the music. >_> Or, I used to use it for things you can't really get, like my Japanese music (Imports are like... $70). I'm an honest "goody two shoes" in some respects, and that's one of them. lol.

Debate
The debate was interesting - NOT. Kerry was great at first, and then they both got really boring. I think Kerry won, but it was by like... 2% - a slight margin. So everything's up in the air, for now!

I feel a bit sorry for Kerry. I think the war really did something to him, and because of it, this is the way he is - quiet, reserved, unable to clearly express himself at times (although Bush could be accused of that, too. >_>)

Did you know that Mickey Mouse recieves around 1200 votes every year? That's cool. What would being ruled by a mouse be like? XD Sounds like he'd do a better job than some other crazies we've had.

On another election issue, I want to urge all those able to vote, to go to the polls. Did you see my sig? I firmly believe in it. I know, I know. I blabber away about John Kerry, blah blah blah. But the real message is the action of voting. I mean, take a look at some of the other coutnries of the world where elections are either rigged, restricted, or in the case of dictators, not given at all! I mean, jeeze, that's horrible. And here we are with the chance to vote. It may not seem like much, but that vote is very symbolic of freedom, and the right to choose someone to represent you on a world stage. And, like my sig says, it doesn't matter who you're voting for - write someone in (Mickey Mouse) if you like, but the important thing is to vote, otherwise, you have no right to complain about the government of America.
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Saturday, September 25, 2004

No one
My dad says that people who need material things to be satisfied, are people who are insecure and/or lonely. I agree.

I think I'm going to go away sometime. Probably in October. We'll see. And the world comes crashing down on ya.


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Friday, September 24, 2004

In my sweet Insanity
Until I noticed the comments that last week's post got, I was completely unaware that anyone but TVE ever read my myO. I'm still doubting the existence of those comments. ¬_¬

Yesterday was friggin' HELL. After school, I came home, walked the dog, practiced piano, WENT to piano, and on the way there and back, I did my H.W. When I got home, I immediately started on that ICE essay for Knaus, and I got most of it done, which I was please about. ^^ So I decided to go to the football game, after all. (I didn't know if I was going to make it b/c of the ICE essay.)

On the way to school, I did my homework, and when we got to the field, I did it between songs. And we had to play quiet a lot because we scored THREE, count them, THREE touchdowns!!!!! And we beat the other team. o_O; Brad Zak scored his first touchdown of the season. XD I can't believe we got to play "On Wisconsin" and "Notre Dame." It was great that we won, but it was lots of playing! ^^;;

When my sister picked me up, I still wasn't done with my HW (I didn't do any of it in the car ride home since it was 9:00 and too dark). Then I went home and did the AR for Chemistry, which took time, since I actually had to think.

Then I took a shower, and cleaned up my room. By that time, my throat started to hurt (now I'm sick) and so I had a cup of tea and a granola bar. I htink it was because I didn't wear my jacket at the game, but who knows. It wasn't cold out, okay?!?! >_>

In the morning I was so tired, b/c I only got 6 1/2 hours of sleep, and Ms. Taylor is sooo effing annoying in 1st period (In which I finished the last two q's of my HW - which happened to NOT be due today. -.-).

And in second Pd, we were supposed to be answering those q's I did for HW, so I got a good 15-20 mins. of sleeping out of US History AP. XD

And Yesterday, Thursday was the day that I DID NOT GET TO REST AT ALL. x_x And I'm willing to bet nobody at all cares. *Goes away*


*sigh* I think I scared off Ahra today, when I told her that I was Chinese American. I think she was under the impression that I was Japanese. >__> GUH. X____X;;; I wish - lol. So what do I say to a Korean girl, anyways? (That's an actual question, hint hint)
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Sunday, September 19, 2004

Hard to believe I'm not cursed
I'm watching Titanic right now. I think all of us love it, even if we outwardly scorn the movie. It's might be bad but it's definately not that bad. I wuv that movie. Ish a great one. ^__^

So... uhm... Lyrics from Adieu:

Don't care for me, don't cry, let's say goodbye, Adieu.

Right. Let's say goodbye then. Adieu. Because I belong to no one on OB - OB friends? What friends? I have none of them. I'm invisible, slowly fading from the minds of those I knew. Never remembered. Hey - c'est la vie.

"I feel like I'm standing in a rom full of people, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up..."
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Saturday, September 18, 2004

Sadly Strange... for others
Heh. "sometimes helping people gets you stabbed." - DeathKnight. Insanely true, I tell you. It really is.

(I'm also only 53% compatible with him. Poo! >_<)

And something has come to my attention recently.

I hate to say it, but when you love somebody (romantically?), I don't think it fades. Sure, the passion and the zeal may fade, but they only reveal the "real" love that was always there.

Maybe they never really loved you, or maybe you go your separate ways, perhaps even after fighting.

The thing is, if you love somebody, you never really stop loving them.
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Desparation
The psychology of it all is so unfair: the things you want most are usually unattainable. What would be even worse is if that desire could never be uttered.

In other news, things are getting crazy, and I'm getting confused. All I know is to cling to 'em. I wrote it on my palm today so I wouldn't forget. I was gonna leave, but I'm not. Gotta cling to what I know - the only thing I know.
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Saturday, September 11, 2004

Concieted, I think.
I just don't understand/grasp the concept that popular kids can be sad or depressed. It's just not possible in my mind. To me, there simply is no reason to be depressed!! I mean, you've got great friends who are always there to go shopping or do something with you, so you're never sad. You probably have a really cute boyfriend that I never will. And, you're allowed to make fun of me and get away with it!

So to me, the concept of being popular and depressed is retarted. They're probably making that all up. Now, if you were me, a nobody who literally has no friends there'd be a problem. I think those people are just being selfish, because they don't have the money to buy ANOTHER mini skirt, or can't buy a coach bag. They're just surface people, and anyone popular who attempts to claim they're depressed needs a reality check.

P.S.: If you're offended by my post, take it elsewhere. This is really pissing me off right now.
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Thursday, September 2, 2004

Everything I tried to hold onto
I had a good meaningful chat with Marc today, and he made me feel really good. Now I know I'm not alone, I'm not stupid, and I wasn't dreaming all that time. I'm so glad. *laughs* Maybe we can talk about it again, a long time from now. That would be nice.

All I ever wanted was to be popular and loved, but perhaps what happened during that time long ago, wasn't my imagination. And that goes to show that it's all just surface material, some of them. I wouldn't want that.

Isn't it funny? I was popular once, and I didn't even realize it...

-I'm Roxanne, and I'm no one else.
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