Sunday, August 29, 2004

Caught Between Two Worlds
I'm feeling caught again.

I look at the people around me and I see pale faces everywhere. I have never had a friend whose face was not pale. I think of myself with a pale face. So it is very surprising to me when I look in the mirror sometimes, and see, instead, a yellow face and almond eyes.

As long as I live, I will have to fight harder to fit in with everyone else; to prove I am like them, because I do not have a pale face.

If I took a plane to the place of my ancestry, perhaps I would not be guay-loy, but I would not be of zhong guo either. I'd get funny stares, and everyone would know that though my appearance may be the same, I am not like them on the inside.

And here, it is the opposite. I do not look like them, but my heart is the same.

So which one matters more? How I look, how I think, or my intentions?

Sometimes - not often - but sometimes, I feel caught between the worlds. Neither here nor there. I don't know anything about China, (or Thailand, where my Chinese grandfather immigrated to). I don't even speak the language.

So why is it their words roll off my tongue easily? Why do I find myself nodding my head when greeting people, like they do in Thailand, when I act like Americans, and I dream like Americans?

Why must I be caught between the worlds? Why
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Friday, August 27, 2004

Stolen from Ken
Woo. Stolen from Ken's MyO. lol.

Which Final Fantasy Melody are you?

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Thursday, August 19, 2004

   Terrorists, Jesus, Hot guys
Oh my gosh! *smacks head* I remember now! I had a dream over the weekend about something, and I meant to post it.

In my dream, I was being chased by, and protecting someone *coughnottelling* from a terrorist. O_o I haven't had a dream that strange since the arabian guards from Aladdin invaded my house when I was five.

I think it's because I had been thinking about the TNT drama limited series The Grid which was about counter-terrorism, and terrorists. I liked The Grid a lot. I'm still really mad at what they did to the character Raza. He was cool. If I can ever find a guy like that IRL, I will never let him go. *_*

Besides, Piter Fattouche is really, really cute as Raza. *__* To me, he has the face of Jesus. (Jesus was born in the middle east - he probably looked like our concept of a terrorist. XD)

That reminds me, in school one time, Megan (the sophomore/ now junior) was talking about The Passion and then she was like, "Ohh my gosh, I really love Jim Caveziel (sp?) He's sooooo hot!!! ^___^" and then she yelled "JESUS IS HOT!!" XD it was friggin' hilarious.

Er... yeah.
-Roxie
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Friday, August 6, 2004

Prologue?
This is the prologue to something I'm working on. I just wanted to share it, and see if anybody thought the idea was promising. If you read it, tell other people to read it, and comment on it, dammit! >:0

Prologue

Outside it was warm and sunshiny, with puffy cumulus clouds lining the sky, the kind that you could spend hours looking at and trying to decipher shapes. It was one of those days where everything should be perfect, only it wasn’t.

The distinct sound of heavy school textbooks dropping to the warm asphalt could be heard, and a salty wetness flew through the air as dark brown hair swayed; a signal that a head had turned. A young girl around the age of thirteen cried as teases and taunts filled the air. They were all laughing at her. She picked up her books as rapidly as she could, rose to her feet in a split second, and dashed off like a bullet from the schoolyard, the loud pitter-patter of her shoes smacking the ground beneath her.

Not paying close enough attention to where she was going, the girl crossed the street without looking; several cars swerved to avoid her. Safely back on the sidewalk, while running, she tripped, and expected to hit the pavement, but it never came. She just kept falling...


She screamed bloody murder when she realized she was plummeting through the sky. It seemed her acceleration towards the ground increased rapidly; there was no way she would come out of this fall alive. And yet, some force, a parachute effect, kicked in and gently let her float towards the earth. The girl suddenly felt dizzy. She struggled to get up, but to no avail. Her body slumped over, and she fell unconscious.
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Wednesday, August 4, 2004

She will be loved. But I'm not her...
I went to Massachusettes on vacation last week. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be, but my last day there was really great, and I remember that the most, so I guess it's alright. I mean, Jeff wasn't there until Friday, and he wouldn't take his medication at all, coupled with his "I'm a cool freshman" attitude made for a very bad combination of annoyance that I couldn't stand at all. ARGH!

Rico was so nice, and I wanted to give him a kiss, but I'm an idjit, and I didn't. >_>
Scott was just an ass. He interrupted me ON PURPOSE when I was watching The Grid. And you know, I really really like that show. >:0 To you, Scott!

The last three days I was at Cape Cod, which was when Rico came to the Cape with Jeff. I hated my hair b/c of the humidity, and I got all these headaches b/c of it, too, but the beach was so pretty. And I got to be like Annabelle from Lolita with the sand. And I pretended to be a plane, too. They made fun of me for that, but too damn bad. >=P It was awesome, though. I went out on the rocks twice, I went to the beach at night, and I got to have the waves break right over my feet. So I guess it was all good. ^_^;;


In other news, I'm currently obsessed with the song "She will be loved" by Maroon 5. Gosh, I wish someone would love me. You know? I know that boys are really stupid and retarded, but I still want a boyfriend. Am I weird for thinking that? I don't know. I can't believe I'm only joining the Chess club so I can see Alex. Does that make me shallow for chasing after a boy? >_> What do you think?


P.S.: If anybody talks to Ken (DeathKnight), tell him that I'm sending him an Elephant as a present, so look for it in the mail!!! (I mailed it today - I don't know how long it'll take to get there...)
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Saturday, July 24, 2004

Wheee, I'm strange!
I saw I, Robot last saturday, and FINALLY saw Spidey 2 on tuesday. Spidey was really good, except for the part when EVERYONE finds out his identity - but I understand that's the way the comic is. I, Robot was fine. Great, awesome action film, but I wish they would have had more theme and thinking in it. I LOVED Will Smith's Audi. Driving Manual. heh. XD Quizzes below:

NOTE: z

No smoking around Roxie. Thankyou for your co-operation.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com


Purple! You have purple eyes! You're a dreamer,
artist, poet, whatever. You enjoy all forms of
art and literature, and tend to be quite good
at creating them as well.


What Color Are Your Anime Eyes?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Friday, July 16, 2004

Quizzes
I stole these quizzes from Ken's blog. Sowweh. x_x;

Shy Kisser
Whether you've been kissing your sweetie for a long time or if you're still awaiting true love's first kiss, you are a very caring and loving individual... but a little shy! But that's ok, it means that to you, kisses are extremly special and should not be thrown around at any given moment or given to just anyone. You're a softy (admit it, romantic movies make you misty! ;-) and your sensitivity makes you a gentle and sweet kisser. You are not confident in kissing unless you love the person you are kissing... so maybe you are a little shy because you don't know your partner well enough or you haven't met the right one yet. But don't worry, when you meet the one of your dreams you will be a very tender and affectionate kisser.
(by *Crazy Dannielle*)

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"

True Christian
You are humble, gracious, kind and extremely Christ-like. You believe in the bible as your law, but read it in its original language. Perhaps you're not a scholar, but you're not an armature either. You normally don't feel church is acceptable for your form of worship, and if anyone believes different from you, you might try to learn something from them.

Haha. Sounds like me. *grin* ^_^;;;
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Back at it again.
Avril Lavigne - I love her songs. I just do. so get used to it. "My happing ending" has got me obessed with love and romance again, which is very annoying, since I've been trying to stay away from it for a while. :/

I came to the conclusion though, that for people I love and care about, I would do anything for them; anything at all. That's why I get angry at my monitor, occasionally. I want to grab out, and hug someone when they're down, and then this damn monitor blocks my way. -.-; Well, you get the picture.

I bought the black fabric at JoAnn's on Tuesday. I'll probably start sewing my "Alice" dress today or tomorrow. (do a google image search for "Alice Mccoy" or "alice + Digimon" for a pic) I'm supposed to see I, Robot tomorrow, but now that Marn isn't going to Brian's on Sat, I dunno what we're doing. Damnmity. :/ >_<

So much for my happy ending...

-Roxie [stupid love songs. ><]
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