Sunday, January 13, 2008

PSA: There's no such thing as fixing someone. Don't listen to what Coldplay says!
(Of course, EdxWinry is the ONLY exception...)

I just want everyone to know, that there's no such thing as fixing people, so don't EVER try. It's not caring - it's actually very INSULTING to the person you're trying to "fix." A person can only change if THEY decide to.

You can certainly offer support to them, let them know you'll be there if they need anything, or be there for them when they DO decide they want to change something, but you can't fix anyone, or change them. You can lead a horse to water, but you CAN'T make it drink. Stop deluding yourself into thinking you can.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but until the time I was about... 16 I really thought I could fix people. I backed off a lot about it when I was 14, but I still felt it a little.

I learned the hard way that there's no such thing as fixing people - by someone trying to "fix me."

It was so insulting that he would TRY, and more than that he thinks he fucking succeeded! What a pompous arrogant son of a bitch. He didn't change me. And if I did change at all during the time I was with him, it was because I simply GREW UP, assface.

There's someone else in my life that tried to fix me, and I can understand why, but that still doesn't stop me from resenting it. Honestly, it was just a phase I needed to grow out of. And I did. But all YOU cared about was your fucking reputation and any more work it meant for you. You care WAY too much about others' reputations, and I got your misdirected anxiety. Way to go.

I still have a really caring instinct in me, so I'm all for supporting someone if they want to change something about themselves, but now I've realized that THEY have to WANT to do it. And if they don't want to change, you have to accept that and accept them for who they are. You can't trim away the parts of a person you don't like - you have to take them as they are.

That's why I feel my grandfather's advice is so important: "To see and accept others as they are, not how you want them to be, otherwise, there will be many and endless disappointments."

Learn to love people as they are. Because frankly, trying to fix someone is insulting.