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myOtaku.com: MistressRoxie


Friday, May 2, 2008

Not Excited
I don't know why, but I'm just not excited to be going to London.

Everyone around me (who is going), is just so excited to be going. James especially, but others too: Abby, Chris, Kat, Jenn.

I feel like... now that I've been overseas (twice) it's like, "eh, I guess." And if that's the case, I just WISH I didn't feel like that. =(

I remember being so excited LAST semester about going. Hell, it was a miniscule reason for me staying at Rider. (Other more important points were the main reasons.) And now I'm just...?

I feel like I'm putting too much emphasis on the club, but really, since I last talked about it, I haven't been too too outlandishly daydreaming about it. It's practically the *only* reason I'm even a little bit excited.

I just feel bad for not being excited. I know I should appreciate this once in a lifetime offer and all, but I just can't feel that way. =(

I hope that I really love it when I go. I'll try to love it, but I can only try. I want to be pleasantly surprised, but I don't see that realistically happening right now.

All I can hope is that I'm proven wrong.

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