Saturday, January 14, 2006

Oh Dear God.
OKAY OKAY. I shouldn't be on here right now! I need to write my 30 page paper that is currently one paragraph.

So yes, I did get two of your PMs, but I can't respond to them until this is FINISHED (that would be the 20th of January), so if you could wait just a bit, that would be great. I know there's an e-card waiting in my hotmail box, but I haven't gotten a chance to check anything else.

(Hopefully) everything will be back to normal-ish on the 20th. God I hope so. Just hold out until then, before you yell at me.

The only reason I'm posting here was because I was in a livejournal, and then clicked on a user that commented and saw this (I shouldn't have been doing any of it! But I'm too obsessed with this story where the author updates EVERY DAY! *gasp*).

And I wanted to post this here, because I saw it.

Oh, I'm so horrible! *wails how she's never going to finish this 30 page paper*

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
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Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage