Wednesday, January 19, 2005

today

i touched the end where the pleasure fills the abyss
today
i felt the rough edges of chaos with my fingertips
today
i dredged through a swamp of muck, and sticks
today
i thought of you but drowned you and called it a suicide
your body haunts, your eyes dead holes, your body rag dolls
baby doll
today
oh today
oh today
today
oh today
oh today
i touched myself but i was touching you
i buried my soul's grave, laid dead flowers
everything's dead
the thunder bellows from a sky
its mouth open wide
somewhere i swear i see tomorrow
full of streaks of pain and curtained
in pleasure, darkness a privacy
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

1,000 words are worth a picture


Comments (11) | Permalink

Monday, January 17, 2005

march of the pigs

Was reading my someday-to-be-novel, called tentatively "Somewhere Out There." Pretty good. It's reawakened a lot feelings that were a part of me then, that've died now, but've been reawoken. Interesting how easily the thing flows, too. I could see it being a novel. Straight-out, with a bit of sharpening up, but not too much - I've never been a slave to perfection, I hope to never put on those chains. Rather, I'm a slave to flaws - flaws make the flawless.

I want to finish this novel by the end of this year. That's my goal. I've got a lot of time till then. Plan to get it published, edited, etc., if need arises.

It will probably end up being about nothing. It'll probably be breaking the rules of a conventional novel. It'll probably be hated by a lot of the literary community, but loved by others, by those who have their hearts set like mine with writing.

I've a more imaginative, over-spanning, spontaneous mind. A mind that cannot be held in by doors, even doors that are locked. I simply jiffy open my way in. I creep without a creak like a good hinge. I hate rules, I hate abiding by them. I hate authority. I spit in its face, but what I spit in ends up being authority's reflection in the water made by those who have cried because of this world's treacherous lies. Only if we'd all arise as one and let destruction loose from hell. The devil may have horns, but destruction has the fire.

There's different types of writers. There's no certain words to label these types of writers. Only general laygrounds. I'm more anal explulsive. I spittle the shit down, it lands, if I like it I keep it. If it's decent to me I let it stay on the page, a shit masterpiece. If some of it's dripped I take a piece of toilet paper and wipe away. If it's mishappen and grotesque in a way that doesn't appeal to me, I flush it down, through the pipes and to the excrement dump.

Some other writer might be anal retentive. He might take his shit out of the toilet and take out a knife and carve that sucker into shape. He might keep his shit, his words, and perfect it. And clean it of all baterias, viruses, syndromes, ills, anything above all detrimental. Until what lay before him was his idea of a shit masterpiece.

Whatever, wherever, however, the job of writing gets done. To me a catharsis of sorts, and a self-memento and self-explainer, to others whatever others find writing to be. Just don't mix your poo/ belief of writing with my poo. I like my way of writing where it is, and what I think it is, because it's proven to work for me and do things right. You keep at yours.
Comments (15) | Permalink

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Us or Them

*deleted*

Still sick, that is all.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, January 14, 2005

Sick

I'm sick. Yesterday I was in misery. My entire body ached. Today I feel better just because it doesn't ache all over.

I didn't even sleep well last night. I went to bed at 11 at night, woke up about 2, then woke up about 5, then woke up about 7, then woke up about 9, then woke up about 11, then couldn't sleep and got up at 11:30.

I have to work in a few hours. I'm going to ask to get off ASAP. I don't even feel like working, and I've got other crap to do than work. Mainly, I've got to try to finish Their Eyes Were Watching God. We have to have it read by Tuesday and I'm only on page 70 out of 196ish.

I also work two double shifts this weekend. . .I'll probably end up going home and so on, even though I'll be losing money, especially if I feel like shit as I have been the last few days.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Godspeed You Black Emperor! - The Dead Flag Blues

the car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel
and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
and a dark wind blows

the government is corrupt
and we're on so many drugs
with the radio on and the curtains drawn

we're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
and the machine is bleeding to death

the sun has fallen down
and the billboards are all leering
and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

it went like this:

the buildings tumbled in on themselves
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble
and pulled out their hair

the skyline was beautiful on fire
all twisted metal stretching upwards
everything washed in a thin orange haze

i said: "kiss me, you're beautiful -
these are truly the last days"

you grabbed my hand and we fell into it
like a daydream or a fever

we woke up one morning and fell a little further down -
for sure it's the valley of death

i open up my wallet
and it's full of blood

Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Of the Punishings

machineofbones: *slaps barren again*
BaronSamediOB3: She bit me.
DarkSerena85: *tastes a little blood*
machineofbones: *slaps him again*
BaronSamediOB3: On my shoulder.
machineofbones: Your insolence is tiring.
BaronSamediOB3: I'm bleeding
machineofbones: Pain is weakness leaving the body.
machineofbones: I want the blood in a bucket.
BaronSamediOB3: Well, I must have no weakness left.
BaronSamediOB3: ;_;
DarkSerena85: *licks it*
machineofbones: I want to know how many pints you get.
machineofbones: *slaps him again*
machineofbones: Your insolence is tiring.
GoddessUnluck: *slaps Mitch's....
GoddessUnluck: ....
machineofbones: Your insubordination will not be taken.
GoddessUnluck: ...
GoddessUnluck: bum*
GoddessUnluck: Hush now.
machineofbones: Tush? Ass? Cheeks? Rear?
BaronSamediOB3: *licks Erica's......
machineofbones: pit
BaronSamediOB3: cheeks*
BaronSamediOB3: *on her face*
machineofbones: *slaps barren*
BaronSamediOB3: o_O
machineofbones: You licked her pit, did you not?
GoddessUnluck: >.>
BaronSamediOB3: Would you quit slapping me?
DarkSerena85: *catches your tongue between her teeth*
machineofbones: *slaps him again*
BaronSamediOB3: machineofbones: You licked her pit, did you not? Pit?
DarkSerena85: Lol.
machineofbones: What did I just say? You liked her in the pit, did you not?
BaronSamediOB3: *pashes Erica more*
machineofbones: *slaps him again*
GoddessUnluck: *tackles Mitch to the floor and pins him down* Stop abusing him!!
machineofbones: Listen.
JCBaggee: *blinks*
BaronSamediOB3: What is the pit though?
machineofbones: Your disrespect won't be taken.
DarkSerena85: *silences you with another cookie*
machineofbones: Go look it up in the dictionary. My purpose is not to be a walking dictionary.
machineofbones: I'm here to whip you into shape, boy.
BaronSamediOB3: *swallows the chocolate goodness*
machineofbones: *slaps him*
GoddessUnluck: Not while I'm here..*keeps Mitch's arms under her body*
machineofbones: Did I say you could swallow that?
BaronSamediOB3: *feeds Erica a cherry*
machineofbones: *slaps him*
BaronSamediOB3: *from his mouth to hers*
GoddessUnluck: MITCH!!!!
machineofbones: Did I say you could feed her a cherry?
DarkSerena85: *spits cherry out and runs her tongue along the inside of your lip*
machineofbones: Your contempt of me is irrevocable.
GoddessUnluck: Bah
machineofbones: It's in your head and crushing your skull.
GoddessUnluck: *slaps Mitch*
BaronSamediOB3: machineofbones: Your contempt of me is irrevocable. You passed!
machineofbones: *slaps him*
machineofbones: I did not pass.
BaronSamediOB3: Haha
machineofbones: *slaps him*
machineofbones: Do not laugh at me.
GoddessUnluck: *slaps Mitch with a banana*
BaronSamediOB3: XD
DarkSerena85: *kicks him instead*
machineofbones: It has no effect.
machineofbones: Your weakish woman muscles do not harm me.
BaronSamediOB3: Hahaha
machineofbones: *slaps him*
BaronSamediOB3: *knocks Mitch out*
machineofbones: I am starting to get angry.
machineofbones: You did not know me out.
GoddessUnluck: *rollage of eyes*
ManicWebbX has left the room.
machineofbones: You only have a few more chances, and then I'll show you what a real man can do.
BaronSamediOB3: *laughs in an annoyingly superior manner*
GoddessUnluck: *sits down*
JCBaggee: *sits and watches*
machineofbones: You're such a weak, sad little creature; so superfluous. I only want to utilize your potential, make you more than you are.
machineofbones: But this insolence has gone on too long.
BaronSamediOB3: Sir, yes sir.
DarkSerena85: *crawls over to JC and latches on*
GoddessUnluck: *stretches arms above her head*
machineofbones: The way you are saying that indicates a tone of deep-set sarcasm.
JCBaggee: Hello. *hugs*
BaronSamediOB3: No Sir!
machineofbones: I recommend you change the tone.
BaronSamediOB3: Yes Sir!
machineofbones: *slaps him*
BaronSamediOB3: :-X
machineofbones: Change the tone. Your contempt knows no bounds.
GoddessUnluck: *scratches stomach and rubs chest*
BaronSamediOB3: Sir Yes Sir
BaronSamediOB3: *gets distracted by Annie's chest*
machineofbones: Now that is better.
JCBaggee: This...is kinda weird.
machineofbones: You're improving.
machineofbones: I gave you an inch, now I hope you go an ell.
BaronSamediOB3: JCBaggee: This...is kinda weird. Really?
DarkSerena85: *tackles Baron into his back*
BaronSamediOB3: *ish tackled*
GoddessUnluck: *stands up to lean back and stretch out her back*
JCBaggee: Well, that was short lived...*thumbs through a Reader's Digest*
machineofbones: *picks him up by the shirt collar*
machineofbones: *throws him to his feet*
machineofbones: Missy, don't interfere when I'm talking to him.
DarkSerena85: *leaves a trail of light kisses alonng your neck and throat*
BaronSamediOB3: *incedibly distracted*
BaronSamediOB3: incredibly*
machineofbones: Miss, your insubordinance is striking.
machineofbones: There will be no more of this!
machineofbones: *breaks her kneck*
BaronSamediOB3: ;_;
BaronSamediOB3: *shoots Mitch*
machineofbones: That'll be you if you don't shape up, sonny.
GoddessUnluck: *saunters to the bed and lays down on her stomach, reads through a manga*
machineofbones: I have a bullet proof vest. It does no harm.
BaronSamediOB3: *runs*
machineofbones: Maybe you should aim for the head next time.
machineofbones: *easily catches up*
machineofbones: You sure can't run fast.
BaronSamediOB3: *sneaks up behind Annie and straddles from behind*
GoddessUnluck: Oh my..
DarkSerena85: Lol
GoddessUnluck: *looks up*
machineofbones: *gives Annie a passionate kiss, then shoves her aside*
BaronSamediOB3: machineofbones: You sure can't run fast. XD
GoddessUnluck: Whee?
JCBaggee: Well, that's my cue kids. Later.
JCBaggee has left the room.
BaronSamediOB3: Night JC
machineofbones: What was that I saw you doing, boy?
GoddessUnluck: *rolls off of the bed onto the floor*
GoddessUnluck: Ouch!
machineofbones: You better fess up, or else there will be consequences to your actions.
GoddessUnluck: *rubs head* Eeehh...
BaronSamediOB3: I was straddling Annie frm behind Sir
machineofbones: Were you supposed to be doing this?
GoddessUnluck: *crawls up to lay upper body on the bed*
BaronSamediOB3: Instinctive, Sir
DarkSerena85: *snatches Baron from behind, digging her nails into his lower stomach*
BaronSamediOB3: *peripheral vison @ Annie*
machineofbones: Instincts must be controlled; desires nullified. You must become a walking hole.
BaronSamediOB3: =-O
BaronSamediOB3: Ouch
GoddessUnluck: *props her face on her hand and watches*
BaronSamediOB3: These girls are walking holes.
BaronSamediOB3: :-P
machineofbones: Missy, I broke your neck - how is it you are alive?
GoddessUnluck: It is a chat room..
GoddessUnluck: remember?
machineofbones: No, this is not a chat room.
BaronSamediOB3: Regeneration?
machineofbones: This is far more.
machineofbones: Regeneration? It's pish posh.
GoddessUnluck: *winks at Josh while Mitch rants*
BaronSamediOB3: *licks Erica's shoulder*
machineofbones: I saw that, sonny.
BaronSamediOB3: The Mitch, you are dead.
machineofbones: And I saw that missy.
BaronSamediOB3: You died long ago.
DarkSerena85: *purrs, runs her fingers down your front*
machineofbones: I am only now living.
machineofbones: You are the one who is dead.
machineofbones: You wallow in your sick, tired, human feelings.
GoddessUnluck: You'll get yours later, Mitchy..*blows a kiss*
BaronSamediOB3: A least I'm dead with two incredibly sexy women
GoddessUnluck: lol
machineofbones: With age comes wisdom, sonny.
machineofbones: Sex is the opiate of the masses; it keeps the young calm, else they rebel,
BaronSamediOB3: I'll never rebel...
GoddessUnluck: *adjusts her bra*
BaronSamediOB3: o_O
BaronSamediOB3: *oggles*
machineofbones: *slaps him hard, so hard he falls to the ground*
BaronSamediOB3: :-P
machineofbones: What did you just say?
machineofbones: Repeat it to my face.
BaronSamediOB3: I said I'll never rebel.
BaronSamediOB3: So much sex...
machineofbones: *slaps him so hard blood comes*
BaronSamediOB3: Sir?
machineofbones: What did you just say?
GoddessUnluck: Don't give into temptation.....
machineofbones: Say it again.
DarkSerena85: *holds you closer, digging her nails in the side of your neck*
BaronSamediOB3: I said I'll never rebel...ohh, whats tis. I feel rebellion. Must release.
BaronSamediOB3: *hrries over to Annie*.
BaronSamediOB3: *and Erica o_O*
GoddessUnluck: *crawls back onto the bed and looks down at Josh*
DarkSerena85: *licks the inside of your other ear*
machineofbones: You lied to me, son. You're a pile of lies lying atop each other, piling up endlessly, interminably.
BaronSamediOB3: *neck is sore*
machineofbones: *catches him*
machineofbones: *holds him by the collar*
machineofbones: You rebelled.
BaronSamediOB3: nevr!
machineofbones: What do you have to say for your empty promises?
BaronSamediOB3: I saw merely going to sex to stp myself rebelling
BaronSamediOB3: was*
DarkSerena85: lol
machineofbones: Sex is useless.
BaronSamediOB3: It is an opiate
machineofbones: What is sex?
BaronSamediOB3: Never useless.
GoddessUnluck: *leans over Mitch's shoulder and slips her arms around his chest* I think he's had enough for now..*kisses his neck*
machineofbones: *slams him down to the ground*
machineofbones: *turns and gives her a passionate kiss*
machineofbones: My lady, hold on, I must get back to business.
BaronSamediOB3: Sex is that ;-)
machineofbones: *turns back around*
machineofbones: *lifts him up off the ground*
BaronSamediOB3: *has disappeared*
GoddessUnluck: Mitch..*grabs his hips*
machineofbones: What do you have to say for yourself?
BaronSamediOB3: What do you have to say for yourself, sexy hips?
machineofbones: You may have disappeared, but I can find apparitions like you.
machineofbones: *finds him hiding*
GoddessUnluck: LOL@ Josh
machineofbones: What do you have to say for yourself?
machineofbones: What did you call me, son?
DarkSerena85: *has to go into the kitchen for a few moments*
machineofbones: It was a contemptual spatter that spittled from your mouth, was it not?
GoddessUnluck: Ugh..*goes back to the bed and lays down on her back*
BaronSamediOB3: What do you have to say for yourself sexy hips.
machineofbones: *beats him on the ground repeatedly*
BaronSamediOB3: *follows Erica to the kitchen*
machineofbones: Gays aren't allowed.
machineofbones: You're confused, son.
BaronSamediOB3: I was merely referring to Annie's action ~_^
machineofbones: You don't understand.
BaronSamediOB3: I can prove I'm not guy.
machineofbones: Were you?
BaronSamediOB3: *wanders over to Annie*
BaronSamediOB3: gay*
DarkSerena85: *ears prick, turns, hand on a small cup of warm milk*
machineofbones: *grab him again*
machineofbones: You stay away from her; she's mine.
BaronSamediOB3: Ok.
GoddessUnluck: *sways legs side to side*
DarkSerena85: I don't think I should let the cat have it this time.
machineofbones: Sex is the opiate of the masses, remember?
BaronSamediOB3: *wanders towards Erica*
machineofbones: *grabs him*
BaronSamediOB3: No milk for pussy?
machineofbones: What did you say?
machineofbones: What was that obscenity?
BaronSamediOB3: DarkSerena85: I don't think I should let the cat have it this time. BaronSamediOB3: No milk for pussy?
GoddessUnluck: (ask for permission...)
BaronSamediOB3: Sir, may I indulge in nookie with Erica?
GoddessUnluck: Not like that!
machineofbones: Rephrase, son.
GoddessUnluck: *pulls a pillow over her face*
machineofbones: Say, 'May I copulate with Miss Erika.'
DarkSerena85: *pours a little milk from her shoulders* *feels it drizzle down her front*
machineofbones: Say it, son.
machineofbones: Say it.
BaronSamediOB3: May I copulate with Miss Erica, Sir?
machineofbones: You may, as long as you use protection.
BaronSamediOB3: Sir yes sir
GoddessUnluck: *kicks off her shoes*
machineofbones: I do not want such an imbecile as you walking around as another, younger version.
BaronSamediOB3: Thankyou Sir
BaronSamediOB3: I wil see to it Sir
DarkSerena85: *pours it over her shoulder, feels it drip down her back*
BaronSamediOB3: *heads over to Erica, feeds her anti-baby pills*
machineofbones: When you are done with your lechery, I shall question you of it.
DarkSerena85: o_0;;
GoddessUnluck: *throws a condom at Josh*
machineofbones: *turns around(
BaronSamediOB3: *straddles Erica*.
machineofbones: *passionately kisses Annie*
BaronSamediOB3: What now, darling?
machineofbones: M'lady, I must sleep.
GoddessUnluck: Night, Mitchy.
BaronSamediOB3: Night Mitcharoo
DarkSerena85: Whatever you wish sire.
machineofbones: Boy, I'm not done with you. I'll be back to question you of your fornication.
BaronSamediOB3: I'd appreciate suggestion, Erica.
BaronSamediOB3: Ok Sir.
machineofbones: But now I must abscond to bed.
DarkSerena85: I'm sure the cookies made you thirsty.
BaronSamediOB3: Very...
DarkSerena85: Good thing there's more milk in the fridge.
GoddessUnluck: I am going too..
GoddessUnluck: Night kids.
machineofbones: *gives one last kiss to Annie, leaves, a shadow walking away in the distanc*
BaronSamediOB3: Haha, night
machineofbones: *distance
BaronSamediOB3: Night Annie :-)
DarkSerena85: Nightnight
GoddessUnluck: Remember, condoms are your friend.
BaronSamediOB3: XD
BaronSamediOB3: Always
GoddessUnluck: ;-)
DarkSerena85: 9_9;;
GoddessUnluck has left the room.
Comments (5) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Fifty-five is a lovely number

Done
Comments (3) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Whispering yell

40.
Comments (4) | Permalink

Monday, January 10, 2005

The green grass blows in the wind, dancing

Up to 30 stories.
Comments (7) | Permalink