Thursday, September 25, 2003

I own what I'm after.

Mood: Okay.
Music: A Perfect Circle-The Package

clever got me this far
and tricky got me in
i own what i'm after
i don't need another friend

smile and drop the cliche
till you think i'm listenin
take just what i came for
but i'm out the door again

peripheral on the package
don't care to settle in
time to feed the monster
i don't need another friend

comfort is a mystery
crawlin out of my own skin
just give me what i came for
and i'm out the door again

i neeeeeeeeed to get what i came for
i neeeeeeeeed to get just what i need
i neeeeeeeeed to get what i crave
i neeeeeeeeed to smile to get what's mine

i am what i'm after
i don't need another friend
nod and watch your lips move
if you need me to pretend
because clever got my this far
then tricky got me in
i'll take just what i came for
then i'm out the door again

i neeeeeeeeeed to get what i came for
i neeeeeeeeeed to get what i need now
i neeeeeeeeeed to get what i'm cravin
i neeeeeeeeeed to smille and get what's mine
give this to me

mine
mine
mine

take
it
mine

mine
mine
mine

take
what's
mine

mine
mine
mineeeee

i neeeeeeeeed to get what i came for
i neeeeeeeeed to get what i need now
i neeeeeeeeed to get what i crave
i neeeeeeeeed to smile and get what's mine
give this to me

i'll
take
what's
mine

mine
mine
mine

take
what's
mine

give this to me

take what's mine
take what's mine
mine
take what's mine
take what's mine
take what's mine
this is mine
miiiiiiiiinnnneeeeeee
miiiii iiiineeeeee
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

...

Mood: Frustratingly irate
Music: Metallica-Blackened

Geometric proofs are such bullshit. What's the point of learning this dumb, useless jack-diddly, meaningless, endlessly drivelingly dripping shit? If you can tell me, other than using it if you are going to go into the profession of a mathmatician or an engineer, then be sure to send it to me in the mail with a gravestone. Because I'm going to be in it, some dead zombie that has no head, that can't even get this shit right.

"Given that line segment UV is congruent to line segment XY and that line segment VW is congruent to line segment WX and that line segment WX is congruent to line segment YZ, prove that line segment UW is congruent to line segment XZ."

And then you get this wonderful, mind fuckery picture of a line segment containing, in retrospective order, point U, then V, then W, then X, then Y. Are you basking in the tendrils of a shitconfusion yet? I am.

Then from all this crap, you are supposed to take it, and give each and every step to prove that line segment UW is congruent to line segment XZ. So then you make a little chart-thing, like some little familiar to bitch with, and place that given statement in there.

Of course, I had to give the verbal meanings of the given statement and what you're supposed to prove, otherwise, they'd be represented "symbolically." Might as well just tell me you're talking some crap about psychologically obtuse, motherless children. It means about the same to me: nothing.

So here I am, I sit down to do the assignment over this so-great crap we're assigned.

A kid in class today asked, "Mr. Kosse, not to be a jerk or anything, but why are we learning this? Where will we use it?"

Mr. Kosse, his beard barb-wiring his face, turns to Mr. I-don't-want-to-sound-like-a-jerk-or-anything and gives him a stare through his glasses as he fumbles like a fly with the middle of them.

I wish I could've said that, I wish I could've got right in his face. But I'm not that brash, of course. I'd never do that. But at least, sitting here, slapping away at myself with my mind, I can think I would.

"Well, (add Mr. I-don't-want-to-sound-like-a-jerk-or-anything here), you play football, right?"

"Yeah," he says, still looking at Kosse.

"And what position do you play?"

"Quarterback," says Mr. Quarterback. Mr. Quarterback looks on, as Kosse pauses a while then like some swelling loveliness starts speaking.

"Ah. Then you must have to make a decision when you're making a blitz."

What the hell a blitz is I don't care and I don't want to know. As far as I am concerned, I could care less.

He nods his head. Kosse goes on about something else about blitzes. Pizza sounded tasty then.

Then finally, "That's what we're doing here. Making decisions. Thinking." He holds out two of his fingers, making a small distance between them. "This is how much you'll remember from this class when you graduate. You won't remember much of anything." He points to the board, where the addition property of equality is written. "You won't remember this, and not much else. But what I want to get out of this class from you is the ability to think better." Sure, then why am I sitting here gnawing on my pencil, frustrated as a jack that has all work and no play makes jack a bad boy if I'm never going to remember this anyways?

Right then I thought it would've been classic to put Mr. Kosse in a teletubbie costume, paint his entire body in purple, place a black halo on his head, give him broken, bleeding, crutching wings, and shave off his beard and frame on a fake moustache. That would've perfectly shown what I thought of what he was saying; that would've shown me how much it meant to me. Because I don't know about you, but if I saw some dude talking to me about thinking more by learning some useless bullshit, and he was wearing a teletubbie costume, had his entire body painted purple, was wearing a black halo on his head, and had broken, bleeding, crutching wings, I'd consider I was signing a pact with some form of the devil. Or perhaps Barney the Dinosaur, that gay twit.

I think daily. Every single day of my useless, fucked existence. I know for one thing that I don't even consider, nor do I even blasphemize about math in any form or any purposable form. That's like playing with a card house that's built of pins and needles: it falls all over me in an endless gate of gaping, frustrated hate. It's not a zone that I go to. It's something like a black hole that's as black as my head feels right now.

So yeah, here I am, trying to do my assignment. Trying to think, as Mr. Kosse said, seemingly wearing his little guise that looks like Barney the Dinosaur. Nope, you can't really believe in someone like that. How unreal it is.

How unreal that I'm sitting here, trying to think, listening to my music which gives me concentration, yet all I can continue to think of is how fucking much I hate math with a passion. And not just math really, more or less the bullshitzone that is GEOMETRIC PROOFS. And he, my friends and scurrying chimpmunks, is one bitch.

I sit here and I stare his paper face right in the eye. I sit here and tell myself I can do this the bullshitzone that is this shit, and that I can actually sit myself down and have enough patience to not send out an SOS and gallantly gallop hold of some neighing impudence or crutch. Or procrastination. But I still end up doing this, after sitting here, copying down each problem, taking all the steps as such:

First, right down the given statement. Okay, I gots that one if Snoop Dawg ain't my name, and here she is, all beauty and all smack:

" Given that line segment UV is congruent to line segment XY and that line segment VW is congruent to line segment WX and that line segment WX is congruent to line segment YZ." As I said, it is represented in "symbols" which are much shorter and I cannot properly key on this keyboard.

So I make this thing, called a two-column proof. Makes me think of cheesy puffs, really, all stale and nothing. But whatever. Yeah, so say this is my "two-column proof," and she's one bitch:

Statement Reason
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
--
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-


It looks like that. You put the statement in the statement box, then you give a reason, and you keep on fucking with it like some mad tweaker until you finally get to the answer, and even for the answer you have to put a reason, as fucked up as that sounds to me.

And yet, as I look more closely at this "Geometric proof" I have to create, I realize, and ask, what is the point to explain this when, by looking at the drawing provided, I can see a reason discernable, right in my eye, that's not fake, and isn't in some dream. Why can't I just put down that, well, this segment here looks as long as this other segment here that I'm supposed to prove is congruent, and that that makes it work for me. Why do I have to go into it like some masochist just loving the pain, just bleeding for nothing, and gaining nothing. Why?

Oh, that's right, so I can think Oh, I see. Think. Yeah. Think.

Think.

So as I sit here thinking, I'll continue gnawing on my pencil like some baby bloomer that just knows this shit and is intuitioned with it like a pimp. I've even chewed on it so hard that it's left large indentations in my pencil, and has caused my teeth to ache. You know what, though? It still doesn't hurt as much as Mr. Geometric Proof. And really, all I have to do is think, like Mr. Kosse said. Yeah. Think. Like Mr. Kosse said. Think.

I mean, the only thing that's really on the line here is me passing this class. That's nothing too big, really, as far as I see it. But wait, it's my future. I want to go to college, I want to become something even though I'm nothing. So I'll just sit here and sit here and sit here and try and understand this bullshitzone, thie blitzshit. Maybe I'll figure it out. Maybe by tomorrow I'll know what the fuck I'm doing.

Maybe I should just ask the teacher, but I know that won't help. He's Barney the Dinosaur in a guise. He sings about how much he loves me and hates me, and makes up all these bulllshitty things. Things that he had to learn too when he was in school, stuff that's about Geometry, another language, one that I hope is crucified on a cross and hanged in a lynching. And the main thing I know is that I've grown up knowing to teach myself what I want to know, not to be weak and ask for help. But asking a teacher for help isn't weak! It sure isn't. But I have a way with things. Especially something as evil as math: I know that if I don't get it, then nothing else much will help me.

It's too bad evil is such a beautiful face, really. Too bad it's so wretched and eating and gnawing and bony. Too bad it has to be here, looking at me, talking to me everyday, trying to understand why I don't understand this stuff. Because Evil says to me that this stuff isn't evil, and that once I look close enough, I'll see the paradox that is the spiral of math, and see that evil also is a paradox.

Well, Jiminy Crickets, I'll just have to see about this. Continue stressing out over some numbers and symbols that are, as far as I am concerned, just lines and ink on a piece of paper. I'll just sit here and read into this bullshit that I could careless about.

Comments (2) | Permalink

I was just a skinny skeleton in the nude/ Then I took some clothes and put them on.

Mood: Homeworkalized. I swear, I'm not a homeworkaholic...nor a homeworkist..
Music:Marilyn Manson-The Golden Age of the Grotesque

I don't want to type up anything right now...I am in sort of a dark mood, so I doubt anyone would appreciate anything. I have a lot of homework crap tonight...and we had a test in History, and Schimdt gave us an essay to take home and do, and I FORGOT TO COPY IT. Erg. I still remember it..vaguely. I should be able to do it.

Otherwise, here is a conversation with James for your not-so-dark enjoyment...

Dilapoid: 22 posts!111!11111
Dilapoid: Actually, I don't really care heh.
Dilapoid: I'm sure you made a good decision.
Dilapoid: You're Jamesy, you calls the rights. Or something.
JamesOtaku01: Who is this?
Dilapoid: Mitch.
JamesOtaku01: Ahh
JamesOtaku01: I had no idea
JamesOtaku01: How are you going?
Dilapoid: *nod*
Dilapoid: I'm good.
Dilapoid: Shy says you're mad at him lol.
Dilapoid: ShyGuy51185: He seems angry at me.
Dilapoid: I'm angry at you, Shy--how could you be so newbist?
Dilapoid: *snicker*
ShyGuy51185: What?
Dilapoid: I was being sarcastic lol.
JamesOtaku01: I'm not mad at Shy...hehe
Dilapoid: "He he."
Dilapoid: That scares me.
Dilapoid: The "He he."
Dilapoid: :p
JamesOtaku01: lol
JamesOtaku01: Oh don't worry. It's just that Chaos decided to pull me up earlier on
JamesOtaku01: And grill me about my decision.
Dilapoid: Pff.
Dilapoid: Ah well.
JamesOtaku01: As if it is anyone's business but my own. lol
Dilapoid: Exactly.
JamesOtaku01: But yeah. That's how it goes. :-) It's okay.
Dilapoid: Just take it and they'll see when this mod does good.
Dilapoid: Heh.
JamesOtaku01: Well, as I said to Chaos...
JamesOtaku01: OtakuBoards is a message board lol
Dilapoid: Exactly.
Dilapoid: It's just the internety.
Dilapoid: *internet
JamesOtaku01: If any Mod does badly, then I can replace them at my leisure
Dilapoid: Yeah.
JamesOtaku01: And we all know that some of the oldest Moderators have been the least reliable at times
JamesOtaku01: So yeah. *shrug*
JamesOtaku01: The main thing is to forget that stuff and just have fun ^_^
Dilapoid: *points to self* *mouse voice* Yep.
Dilapoid: Fun is..fun.
Dilapoid: Yay.
JamesOtaku01: Hehe, you're okay. I was mostly referring to people like kuja or Zeh.
Dilapoid: I haven't been doing as much as I can though. Definitely not.
JamesOtaku01: People who were around for ages, but ended up disappointing me and just about everyone else.
Dilapoid: Yeah.
JamesOtaku01: Well, only you can do anything about that. :-)
Dilapoid: It's the truth.
Dilapoid: Heh.
Dilapoid: Not much goes on in there really though..
Dilapoid: But I could critique stuff..
Dilapoid: And stuff.
Dilapoid: Yeah. Stuff.
JamesOtaku01: lol
JamesOtaku01: Well, I agree with you
JamesOtaku01: Not much does go on there
Dilapoid: I wanted to change that too.
JamesOtaku01: It just depends whether you want to Moderate it or not.
Dilapoid: I tried...rather crappily lol.
Dilapoid: I like it. It's fine.
JamesOtaku01: Good. :-)
Dilapoid: Yep.
Dilapoid: James: "All your base are belong to us."
Chaos: "All my babes are belong to me."
Dilapoid: Hm.
JamesOtaku01: lol
Dilapoid: It's a nice comparison.
Dilapoid: Shows the different palettes that you two taste.
JamesOtaku01: Absolutely.
Dilapoid: Yup.
Dilapoid: 10 minutes and it's time for me to blow;
Dilapoid: How nepped is this.
JamesOtaku01: o_O
JamesOtaku01: You have to go?
Dilapoid: Nep=Opposite of Yep
JamesOtaku01: Ahh I see
Dilapoid: I have a timer that allows me 2 hours a day online.
Dilapoid: Stupid AOL.
JamesOtaku01: *nods*
JamesOtaku01: Well, it was nice to speak to you again
Dilapoid: There'll be more times I'm sure.
Dilapoid: Same to you, Jamesite.
JamesOtaku01: Yeah :-)
JamesOtaku01: Bye bye ^_^
Dilapoid: Yeah.
Dilapoid: Haste levista and lots of senoritas.
JamesOtaku01: *tips hat* Bye Mitchalita. o_O
Dilapoid: Mitchalita?
Dilapoid: MITCHALITA?!!!?!?!?!?
JamesOtaku01: *nods* =\
Dilapoid: Hm.
JamesOtaku01: Mitchalita. :-*
Dilapoid: *ponders and evil name derived from James*
Dilapoid: Hmmm.
Dilapoid: The kissing smiley is a nice touch.
JamesOtaku01: Yeah, I thought so too
Dilapoid: It makes me want to kiss my bed. :p
Dilapoid: O.o
JamesOtaku01: o_O;;;
JamesOtaku01: Well, your bed will be pleased I'm sure.
Dilapoid: lol
Dilapoid: Yes.
Dilapoid: It will also orgasm in orgasmic smiles.
JamesOtaku01: I'm sure it will
Dilapoid: Definitely tasty.
Dilapoid: We're so silly, Jameo.
Dilapoid: Oh Jameo, Jameo.
Dilapoid: lol
JamesOtaku01: Jameo. Wee!!!
Dilapoid: Taken from..
Dilapoid: Romeo!
JamesOtaku01: I thought you were going to call me Jehbbie or something
JamesOtaku01: Or Jehbbitha.
JamesOtaku01: Or Jehny.
Dilapoid: Jehbatabba.
JamesOtaku01: Or Jehosiphat.
Dilapoid: No. Jameo./
Dilapoid: Cause you're so dreamy.
Dilapoid: And I'm Mitchilita or whatever.
Dilapoid: O.o
Dilapoid: Wherefore art thou Jameo?
JamesOtaku01: Hm...
JamesOtaku01: Jameo and Mitchilita.
Dilapoid: lol
JamesOtaku01: Now that is a play!
Dilapoid: And a plot.
Dilapoid: Where we can grown vegetables.
Dilapoid: Corn and beats and squash.
JamesOtaku01: Yep
Dilapoid: lol
Dilapoid: We're so silly.
JamesOtaku01: Oh yes. Silly is a sane thing compared to Jeh. ;-)
Dilapoid: And what is JEH?
Dilapoid: JESUS!!
JamesOtaku01: Jeh is Jeh.
Dilapoid: HAIL THE NEW JESUS!


Dilapoid:

JamesOtaku01: There's only one Jeh.
Dilapoid: And there's only one way to suck a tootsie pop.
JamesOtaku01: Don't tell me...it might be too arousing.
Dilapoid: At least you're equal in that fashion.
Dilapoid: Arousing...? Only arousing?!?
JamesOtaku01: Sure...
JamesOtaku01: Arousing and stimulating
JamesOtaku01: and hubbentug.
Dilapoid: Here I thought you'd barf in elation and orgasmicalize all over.
Dilapoid: Hubbentug?
Dilapoid: Never heard that lol.
JamesOtaku01: Oh, well
JamesOtaku01: It's the latest craze in Germany.
JamesOtaku01: Hubbentuggery.
Dilapoid: Eh.
Dilapoid: You schmuck.
Dilapoid: Or something. ^_^~
JamesOtaku01: You bitch.
JamesOtaku01: Or something.
Dilapoid: *adds ^_^~
Dilapoid: Yes. I am a female dog.
Dilapoid: I was born poor in rags of wool.
Dilapoid: And then I was artifically inseminated with sheep genes to become a sheep.
Dilapoid: And you, sir, are a pile of sticks, a faggot if you're savvy.
Dilapoid: Savvy?
Dilapoid: I guess not.
Dilapoid: It's too sad.
Dilapoid: I am unobliged to aquiesce your request.
JamesOtaku01: o_O
JamesOtaku01: What request?
Dilapoid: That I am a bitch.
Comments (1) | Permalink

*shrug*

Mood: Fluttering between okay and something else.
Music: A Perfect Circle-A Stranger

Cast a calming apple
Up on your verse that lights
To draw out the timid white one
To convince you it's all right

And I listen for the whisper..
Of your sweet insanity
While I formulate in miles
Of your affect on me

You're a stranger
So what do I care
If I vanish today
Not the first time I hear
All liiiieeeees

What am I to do
WIth all this silence?

Shy away, shy away phantom
Run away, terrify child, won't you
Move away, you fucked this ultimatium
I'm better of without you
You tear my own will down

Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Mind the gap.

Mood: Read to go for a walk, do the rest of my Latin, then sleep the rest of everything away.
Music:Interpol-The New

I joined Latin club, then picked my brother up from soccer. The way my brother has been recently...hurts in some ways.

He still, as I said in that really long post. acts like he's such a little kid and all. He's struggling in school now...simply because he doesn't want to try and just refuses everything. I was somewhat like this...but not this bad, I hope.

On the way to Taco Bell to eat I talked to him as a brother...tried to say something that would help him..yet he still didn't seem to listen. And that's about all I can really do to try and help him...he's the one that has to open the door.

Today has been a really...melancholy day for me. I've been near depressed, then up again, then down again...and yet I still feel empty and apathetical most of the time. I'm trying to stay happy, and I'm trying not to over-dramatize things...but everything is starting to feel so monotonous...and at times I am brought to that bare fact. But I still try to stay happy.

I've decided...I will go to every single practice of soccer my brother has if I can. And every game. I will sit there and scream at him to do better...now he just usually falls over, lies there, does nothing. But when he tries...you can tell. And I want to get him to the point where he tries. Why I dont' exactly know.

Hopefullly it'll do something for him as he gets older.

Otherwise a walk sounds really good right now. Then study for my history test. Then...sleep. I love sleep. It's one of the best things I know and it never gets old.
Comments (1) | Permalink

I love this song.

Mood: Numb Asphyxiation
Music: Interpol-The New

I wish I could live I hope it's not beyond me settling down it takes time
One day we will live together and life will be better
I happen to hear you in my mind

Baby how some days go sloo ow
And baby
My heart's been breaking

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii haaaaaaaate to hold onto you
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii taaaaaaaaaake a lot from you too

Yoooooooouuuuu stay a lot for me
Guess you could so Iiiiiiiiiii gave my leg

I can't pretend
I need to defend
Some part of me from you
I spend some time lying

I can't pretend
I don't need to defend
Some part of me from you
I know I've spent some time alive

You're lookin all right to me
Baby please don't go
You're lookin all right to me
Baby please don't go

I just typed that up by what I thought was being said. It's a really beautiful thing, doing that. If you haven't you really should...it's interesting as well as shows who you are or how you are feeling by how you do it.

I love that song. It's heavily instrumental...which is what Interpol's style basically is. It's a great song...I can't describe how much I do love this band.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Metal lica.

Mood: Melancholy Contempt
Music: Metallica-To Live Is to Die

I love this song. "To Live Is to Die" is basically 8 or so minutes of a guitar solo--with drums, of course--and then near the end, when you're just basking in it all..some lyrics come. I'm not sure who says them..if it's actually James Hetfield or Cliff Burton. I'm guessing the latter most likely. The song itself is from their old album ...And Justice for All which I bought rather recently along with Master of Puppets. I highly recommend Master of Puppets if you want to get into Metallica. It is easily accesible.

If you aren't familiar with Metallica...Cliff Burton died, I believe, by their tour bus crashing or something of the like. Otherwise, the Metallica today, whom just recently released St. Anger is the same band with that exception..at least from what I know it is. I might be wrong, I do not keeop these things in my mind too well.

Metallica-To Live Is to Die
When a man lies he murders
Some part of the world
These are the pale deaths which
Men miscall their lives
All this I cannot bear
To witness any longer
Cannot the kingdom of salvation
Take me home

That part of the song isn't even sung...it's said with some spiteful indifference. I love that.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, September 22, 2003

Cows are so for me/I hold em up to me and suck their cower.

Mood:Tiredly drunken.
Music:Elton John-Since God Invented Girls

It's funny how I am listening to this Elton John and I've never even heard it before as far as I can remember.

It's a lot like that with Sir Elton I suppose. My Dad has 7 or so of his CDs...and I just randomly ripped them. Most of them are really Decent...but my favorite is definitely Goodbye Yellowbrick Road. Man, on that subject, it's been ages since I"ve listened to "Funeral for a Friend/ Love Lies Bleeding." I remember I used to love that song...and I still do heh.

So yeah...why did God invent girls? Do you think he was feeling really kinky and decided to put his sexual energies into something that actually would matter? Or was he just being a masochistic, idioistic pig that was eating from the right loin bone, and it just happened?

All I know is God must be some sexual man. Indeed indeed. And if he isn't a man..well, then, he can be a premadonna, or maybe even post.

That was all mostly written in sarcasm and dry cynicism. Sorry if you actually believed me.

That's about all I have to say nearly. Today was Same Stuff Different Day.

SSDD and I'm away.
Comments (2) | Permalink

One of my best poems in quite some time.

the escape
the clouds stood out like statuesque ponds where tadpoles lived. today they'd grown lungs with the fungus needed to breathe inhalants in their brains. finally found that they had the power to choose what they did.

with this power they'd turned into electricity. a whispering little storm in the tropics of the sky. heaven is so heavenly when mutiny smells on their hands. mutiny is so cold when it snows from the sufferage of a thousand mouthes. the thunder was hitting on the stone and it was heard all over as the sky was built.

they planned the escape and shook hands on it all. they didn't think they'd make it but they needed to leave. they had tired of immortality.

through the clouds the statuesque pond where the tadpoles lived flooded with life like instantaneous ecstasies. it was like a flutter and flock of dodobirds existing. the rhythmical chime of the ripples of dreams; the endless sirens playing their chords, it was the deciding time.

the chiming of sweet calamity. the ease of destruction through forced inflection in the sky. the superfluous creation of the earth and stars. the sun beginning to burn their hands.

flying down in flutters of wings. all crowded and all crashing in the newly created seas. the burning of corpses where the sun was born. the burning of cadavers in the skies being conceived and consecrated to bleed. the angles flying down to freedom through heavens eyes.

welcome to the jaws of hell. their wings burned in the atmosphere of terse serenity. bleeding their blue blood to the earths love. holding their naked white as close as they could. the angels flew all clumped and cut. scathing they burned to bones. the sky was made and shined.

few made it through the atmosphere in time. most burned to nothing and bled their blue and painted the sky. god took them with a brush and made them his eyes. it smelled like burning rugs. their feathers burned first and fell to the ground. soft and sweet floating clouds.

say hello to the endless topography. all the skeletons that had not burned in the sky fell down and ate into the magma star of the new earth. bleeding mallow in the mellow hearth. the sand the sieve of rebirth.

those that made it fell luckily into the seas. still warmed and lost of wings they shook and shivered in the warm watering can. most drowned in mouthfuls of lungs. being brought to the ground their haloes slipped down. those that had the will swam on the waters edge.

they matured to homo erectus in the seas after many eons of floating endlessly. growing lungs and losing their virginity they multiplied in the sea. first only mermaids they came to land when the earths creation neared its end.

god smote down to them. he closed the heavens in the twisting skies. booting out all the other traitors he gave a weary groan. those that already had matured he left alone. those that were the main part of the mutiny he condemned to malignancy. taking their haloes he built them a home.

built with fire and magma dreams. he sent the main traitor down to be the master of the realm. he gave him chains on his hands and cut his wings in amputated cleaves. he named him lucifer and called him hades. the rest of the condemned went down and swam in the underground with him. living in the fires they became twisted creatures of sin.

deus damnat.
deus damnat quod amat.
semper videt igitur vexat.

annihilated is written in our heads. we are the condemned. the angels that flew from our eloquent prisons in our chains. they were the one that brought about this change.

god condemns us because he loves us. always we are worshiping him. we will see the gates again. we will break into it and we will have our way. we have lived our mortal lives worshiping him. we will have away with this life we live.

first the angels fell
and then they built beauty in the earth
and corrupted all that god meant and gave life to
then they fell to hating living on the earth
and built their shuttles to the moon
and guided by lucifers wings
they amputated their way to again entering
heaven and thought their way to doing away with god
yet this has not been writen
all the men that have made it to heaven have died before his eye
some have fallen from the sky and fell to living under lucifers care
a fake prophet was even sent from gods own hands
one to victimize and convert the land

god condemns us because he loves us. annihilated is written in our heads. the war will never end. we are the condemned.

we are
the condemned

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