Friday, July 2, 2004

Fight

Well, I'm pretty sure you people are all wondering what the hell's going on with me. Those of you who care, anyway.

Well, not too damn much, but some things, of course.

This thing with my mom continues to go on, and now apparently she's going to leave me dad in the near future; divorce him, as the word goes. It hasn't really hit me yet, but my dad's been acting a little strange, and I sense an inwardness about his feelings.

When he got home today, he was telling me all these things about my mom, negative things, and I agreed with them, but it was unlike him. He seems depressed, but I would too if I was going to get divorced from a marriage I've had for 8 years or so.

The only way I'm on here is that I snuck on. My mom went to Dickinson today, and somehow--who knows how--the key was sitting right on this thing beside the door to the computer room. My mom's been locking the door with a vengence lately, so I haven't been able to get in, but the key was sitting there. She left it there for me, I'm sure. Or maybe it was an accident. Who knows which it is. I don't really care; but all you need to know is that I'm here online for right now.

Yes, I still haven't gotten a damn job; I keep telling myself I need to get serious about it, but here I am again. Hopefully, I'll get one after my dad's parents leave (they're coming up next Tuesday till Saturday). This time I'll try to make myself go in and ask for the manager, and all the good crap that I hate to do but have to do.

Once I get a job, then I'll be on the net again. That's a good thing, as well as a bad thing. I don't know which. Most of the time I think it's time to move on and stay off the net, but I keep coming back anyway.

I've been really pushing myself physically lately. The main reason why is that I want to be attractive to the opposite sex, because at this point I'm really feeling passionate day-by-day; I mean, it's not that I don't already look attractive (each day I look at myself in the mirror and just think "wow"), it's just that I want to get some muscle on this lean form I have.

So I've been eating well lately, and walking like hell, and swimming like hell. And just three days ago, I started jogging.

Now, I hate running, I loathe it, but I'm serious about getting more fit. I'm sick of being physically weak all my life. I'm bound and determined to get what I want, and so I've started jogging.

The first day I did it I felt like I was going to die. When I finally stopped jogging, it felt as if my feet didn't even exist on me anymore--it was all numb and stuff.

And now lately my legs ache--not too bad, but they ache--and so does my neck, and the lower part of my torso a bit. But I can handle it. No pain, no gain.

I'm already starting to look a lot better. I mean, I look amazing, the best I have my entire life. So that's good.

And that is about all there is to say.

Other than I'd like you all to go down below and read the two posts I posted, with writing things in them.
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