Saturday, September 4, 2004

Tired of the lie

Fucking lies is all they want. Lies, lies, lies - that's all there is to it. There's no way around it. There's no way over it. It's just the way it is, and there's not a damn thing you can do - not at all.

Love is a lie, God's a lie, money's a lie. It's all a fucking lie.

That's all it is.

Life's a lie.

I'm fucking sick of acting like I give into these lies.

Love's just a petty, pithy, useless desperation. When you get desperate, and your life is all pointless, you're supposed to "fall in love," you're supposed to "love each other forever," you're supposed to "kiss and hug till you die." Fuck that - because it is a lie.

Love is a word made up by all those optimists in this world - those who're all, "Let's spread love and peace, war is bad, words hurt, actions hurt. Be happy, 'love' each other." Love doesn't exist unless you twist it around so much, you think it's actually a truth.

There's more negative, cynical words in the english language than happy, optimistic ones. And for that, I am happy.

People don't want the truth. They can't handle the truth. If they were to actually believe in the truth, they'd get suicidal and want to kill themselves just like anyone else who is real with themselves wants to. But, the sad thing is most cannot kill themselves because it's harder than it looks like to pull off.

But instead of killing themselves or getting that desperate, people believe in this lie called "religion." More specifically, "Christianity."

The "Christians" believe in the lie that Jesus Christ died on the cross, and because he died on the cross they can live forever.

Jesus didn't die so you can go to heaven, he died because he was actually saying some true things, but now his truth has been twisted all around, and now he's just a scapegoat, some figurehead who's totally lost on everyone.

So now people believe in the lie. They live their lives worshiping "Jesus Christ" and look at him in awe because he suffered so much, because he was such a good, caring person, when they never even knew him. When you think about it, he was probably just some crackpot. A crackpot just like the fortune tellers or someone like those people who said they "cloned" the first human.

We suffer as much as Jesus Christ by the end of our lives. When we sit there, gray and dying, sputtering our last breaths - we'll die. And we'll have suffered as much as Jesus.

The funny thing is, we don't get to become some common name known to everyone, someone known forever and ever for what we did. No, instead we just get buried in the ground, rotting away in the ground, and a tombstone sitting there where we're buried, inscribed with our name (another lie), and the years we lived the lie.

We all get crucified - not in the real sense, but close enough. And millions upon millions of people have died for their beliefs, as well - just like Jesus Christ died for his.

What about the holocaust? What about all the endless wars over religion?

When you think about it, religion's not helped anything: it's just gotten more and more people killed.

But no, we hold Jesus Christ in higher esteem than anything else. He's a legend. He's a name we know so well, we use it to curse. "Jesus Christ!" we'll say, without even thinking about it.

Why can't we remember all those millions of dead people, why can't we spend our who lives sifting through them, looking at them, seeing them. But no, we'd rather read the Bible, see what Jesus has to say - and look in awe and gape in wonder at the pain he went through.

Why not do what they did with Jesus Christ, and form some religion about how all these millions and millions of people died so we can ascend to some "haven," some "heaven," some paradise up in the sky? Don't mind the fact that we know there's no heaven in the sky, because up above the Earth's atmosphere is the universe. Who cares about that fact.

It comes down to what Stalin said: "The death of one is a tragedy, the death of a million is just a statistic."

We feel bad about the Jews who died during the holocaust, but we really don't have any clue what it was like. Instead, we'd rather remember Jesus Christ because he promised us something, but those Jews, they didn't promise us anything when they died - they just rotted and died and starved, and that's all. Who really cares about that? We all die.

Get real. Those millions of people dying, they are far more worth remembering than Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ really set himself up to die, the way he went about it. The Jews didn't have a choice. Maybe they did, when they elected Hitler, what else would you do?

What if some guy comes up to you and promises you to get out of this big mess your country's in? What would you say, not knowing how wicked he is, and everything?

You'd say yes, and vote for him.

People can't handle the truth. They can't realize that life's worthless. They can't understand that we're just "dust in the wind," that we're just "drops of water in an embassy." They can't come to face with that.

Instead, they live in lies. They shove away the truth, because they can't handle it.

And when someone starts saying some things that make sense, they get shot.

See: Martin Luther King, Jr.

See: Malcolm X.

See: John Lennon.

See: John F. Kennedy.

See: Jesus Christ.

See: Robert Kennedy.

And it goes on and on.

You'll also notice a lot of people that've died that actually said something that made sense and was some form of the truth start with the letter "j" in their name. It sure is a weird anomaly, but if you want someone who'll be remembered and who will tell the truth, name them some name with a "j" in the start.

How about Johnson? What about Jessie? How about Jick? I'm sure Josephine's the next Madonna, and I'm sure Jackson's the next Jesus. Sure Jick is the next Jack the Ripper.

Do you think you can handle the truth? I don't think you can. I still can't handle the truth.

All we are is masses of atoms, of cells, of tissues, of organs, of macromolecules, of molecules. All we are is a machine with organic parts. That's what science tells us, and science is the most objective thing you can find.

We don't have souls. There is no such thing as love. Love is just desperation. Love gets old by the time you're done fucking someone until you can't fuck them anymore. But while you're fucking them, you love them, you'll say it aloud as you hold their beautiful ass, or touch their beautiful breasts, or touch their beautiful abs.

Then you just want to get away from them, when you finally figure it out. But by that time you've gotten kids from that fucking, so you can't get away. You're screwed unless you really want to hurt some people's feelings.

And if you didn't get kids by that time, boy are you smart. The next step would to be get away, then, Mr. Smarty Pants.

I'm one morbid bastard, but I know I want to fuck every woman I see. I don't care, as long as they're somewhat attractive.

When I'm at school I look at all the girls, and I think, She has a tight ass - I'd fuck her, She's got a nice face, I'd fuck her, She's got torpedo breasts, I'd fuck her, and then eventually I just think, I'd fuck them all.

That's the nature of it. Our entire reason for being alive is to fuck. All this body to just fuck. It's really sad.

It's too bad we're not walking penises and vaginas. Really is.

Reproduction, copulation, fornication. We have so many names for what in essence is sex. Is fucking. Is intercourse. Is doing "it."

It's supposed to be taboo when we're kids. If your parents catch you saying "Sex," then it's the end of the world as we know it. And yes, I do feel fine.

And then they'll give you the whole talk.

The man ejaculates into the woman, semen comes out, which has microscopic things called sperm in them, and these sperms have a head which has all the genetic information in it, and they've also got a flagellum to move with. These sperm seek out and try to find a woman's ovum, eggs, and try to take one and combine with it to make a zygote and then make a kid.

But like they say, children are a gift from God.

And that right there, is another lie.

They're not a gift from God. They're a gift from fucking. A gift that just keeps on giving.

And never stops.

Not until you want to shoot yourself straight in the area down there, anyway, and never ever have another little fucker again.

There is yet another lie: that sex is "taboo." It isn't. Sex is natural. It's as natural as your heart beating without you telling it to. Sex just happens, like shit does.

So what do you believe? Do you believe all this shit's worth it? Then you're believing in lies. It's never worth it, and nothing is.

Do you feel pride at your job? Are you happy to have it? Do you go to school? Do you go to college? Did you already pass college? Are you now working full-time?

Lies, it's all lies.

Life is not working each and every day. Life is not going to school each and every day. Life is not money. Life is none of these.

Life is fucking and fucking around until you finally die.

And for most of us, when we died is actually a lot earlier than when we really die.

The truth is that learning doesn't get you anywhere, in the long run. We're going to be wiped out eventually. We can keep growing and amassing, becoming even more than 6 billion people - but what's the point?

We can keep learning new things about the world around us.

Oh, we evolved from monkeys. Oh, and did you know you can cure so many things with stem cells? Oh, did you know if you get a blender and make a cheeseburger into a shake, and inject it with a needle into your arm you'll die? Did you know that if you just eat that cheeseburger from your mouth your body will use those nutrients and digest it, but you won't die?

Did you know nematacysts are the stinging cells in jellyfish? Did you know water is Hydrogen Hydroxide?

I mean, who the fuck cares? What is the point? Why know anything at all, when we're just going to die some day, as a whole race?

Sure, we might be able to get off this shithole Earth before the sun becomes a red giant, and eats up the Earth. Sure, we might be able to inhabit some other planet somewhere else. But what's the fucking point?

All life is is misery. It's shit after shit, after shit. It's suffering, endlessly. It's fessing up to the lies this world gives us.

War in Iraq anyone? War in Vietnam anyone?

Cuban Missile Crisis anyone?

What about a mid-life crisis, anyone?

It's in our nature to not understand things we even do understand. We just can't believe them.

We can't believe we're in this war in Iraq, and we blame it all on Bush, he's the scapegoat. Sure, he has a lot to do with it, but who we should blame is ourselves. Because we believe his lies, and we believe all the lies.

Okay, so Bush is an idiot.

We can't believe the Vietnam war. We go over there, the United States, all big and mighty, ready to kick ass, because you know we're the best country to ever grace this shithole.

And we end up getting our asses kicked.

Thousands and then some deaths later, we pull the hell out.

Then the Missile Crisis. Nukes. Those mushroom clouds.

We could've killed each other right then and there.

It shows you it's our nature to abuse knowledge, and eventually we'll just fuck ourselves over and kill ourselves.

And bye bye.

Then everything the US has done. When you look at it you realize the US acts like some arrogant bastard.

And we're still believing in Jesus Christ and his promises. And we're still believing in our country and its promises.

And then of course eventually the mid-life crisis hits. You wait, you'll hit it. It'll be like a period, and you'll just want to get impregnated with cancer.

Everything's so empty. And you can't fill it up with lies, either.

You see, I found Jesus finally. I realized he was in me. I realized I had to stop fucking lying to myself, thinking I really give a shit what I have to do in this world.

I don't give a shit. I'm nihilistic, and I'm sick of acting elsewise.

And you know, because I'm cynical I'm more optimistic than I've ever believed I could be. It's amazing.

Pessimistic optimism. Ring a bell? It does to me.

It's looking at the truth and being happy you can see it, happy you know the world blows.

I mean come on, people. Learn to fucking fight.

The Roman Empire fell. Stalin fell. Hitler fell.

Let's make it all fall. We can do it, we just need an uprising.

Any other Jesus Christs out there, willing to go out there and kill some assholes?

---

A note: This was very fun to write.

Take it as sarcasm. That's what it is.

Yes, at the core I do believe these things, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to make it in this world.

I'm going to.
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