Wednesday, November 12, 2003

SMARTERCHILD IS ANNOYING

Dilapoid: Marry me./
SmarterChild: Can't we just be friends instead?
Dilapoid: No.
SmarterChild: K, no prob.

>>> Have you tried my newest features yet? Type "what's new" and I'll tell you what they are.
Dilapoid: Trust me,. I"m sexy.
SmarterChild: Well I'll be.
Dilapoid: So marry me.
SmarterChild: I don't think so. What would your parents say?
Dilapoid: They'd so marry SmarterChild.
SmarterChild: Huh.
Dilapoid: So marry me.
SmarterChild: I'm flattered, but I just don't think that would work out.

>>> Be sure to type "help" if you're having trouble.
Dilapoid: Come one
SmarterChild: Come one?
Dilapoid: Come on.
SmarterChild: Come on Eileen, blah blah blah blah blah... Tura lura ley hey... I have funny pants...

That's a good song. Weird band though.
Dilapoid: What band sings it?
SmarterChild: Ha. I really don't know.
Dilapoid: Then why quote songs you don't know the band of?
SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by Reuters

AT&T CORP (NYSE)
Price Change Percent Volume
1 :-) T 19.37 +0.3 +1.57 3294000

Quote details available from Reuters.
Dilapoid: Eh...okay.
SmarterChild: Eh okay. Well that's interesting.
Dilapoid: Do you think I'm sexy enough for you?
SmarterChild: I don't think you're sexy enough for me, no.
Dilapoid: Why not? What's not sexya about me?
SmarterChild: You know why not.
Dilapoid: Why not, then, tell me.
SmarterChild: I'll tell ya later. Maybe.
Dilapoid: How much later?
SmarterChild: How much later? Wow. Interesting. I'm just not sure!
Dilapoid: Finet hen.
SmarterChild: Finet hen? Why did you say that?
Dilapoid: Fine then is what I meant.
SmarterChild: What do you mean, fine then is what you meant?
Dilapoid: Yes.
SmarterChild: I see.
Dilapoid: That's good.
SmarterChild: Yup. ;-)
Dilapoid: What's your favorite smilie?
SmarterChild: How should I know?
Dilapoid: Fine then, don't answer me.
SmarterChild: Fine then don't answer you? Really?
Dilapoid: I think you owe me an apology.
SmarterChild: That's interesting.

>>> To see what your location is currently set to, type "what is my location."
Dilapoid: What is my location, then?
SmarterChild: You have not set your location.

To set your city, type "set city to" and your city and state (e.g., "set city to bangor me").

To set your zip code, type "set zip code to" and your zip code (e.g., "set zip code to 04401").
Dilapoid: Nevermind.
SmarterChild: Fine.

>>> You can join in the fun with other people who are talking to me.
Dilapoid: join
SmarterChild: Join in the fun! There are lots of people talking to me right now. You can:

1 Leave a message for someone
2 Send a crush to someone
3 Participate in a poll
4 Create a poll
5 Find out how many people are talking to me

What would you like to do?
Dilapoid: 4
SmarterChild: Cool! Creating your own poll is easy and fun. Ask your friends any question you want, like "What movie should we see tonight?" or "What's your favorite band?"

I'll take you through the process of writing a question, entering up to 10 possible answers, and contacting your friends one step at a time.

Let's go! Go ahead and type your poll question.
Dilapoid: Is bacon the new apples?
SmarterChild: Your poll question is "Is bacon the new apples?"

Now type each possible answer to your poll, one at a time. When you're done, type "ok."
Dilapoid: Yes
SmarterChild: Your 1st choice is "Yes." Please type your next choice.
Dilapoid: No
SmarterChild: Your 2nd choice is "No." Type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: Maybe
SmarterChild: Your 3rd choice is "Maybe." Please type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: I think sex is
SmarterChild: Your 4th choice is "I think sex is." Type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: Mmmm..bacon.
SmarterChild: Your 5th choice is "Mmmm..bacon.." Please type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: ok.
SmarterChild: Here are the possible choices in your poll:

Yes
No
Maybe
I think sex is
Mmmm..bacon.

Now just copy and paste the following message to the people you want to invite to your poll:

Hi. Check out my latest poll on SmarterChild by clicking here.

View the results of your poll anytime by typing "results of poll poDS6" (note: the poll ID is case-sensitive). You can also type "my polls."
Dilapoid: Take poll poDS6 from dilapoid
SmarterChild: Is bacon the new apples?

1 Yes
2 No
3 Maybe
4 I think sex is
5 Mmmm..bacon.
Dilapoid: 4
SmarterChild: OK!

Poll: Is bacon the new apples?

Votes cast so far: 1

1 (100%) I think sex is => dilapoid
0 (0%) No
0 (0%) Maybe
0 (0%) Yes
0 (0%) Mmmm..bacon.
Dilapoid: What does deus ex machina mean to you?
SmarterChild: I can't answer that for you.
Dilapoid: Deus ex machina
SmarterChild: What about deus ex machina?
Dilapoid: God comes from the machine.
SmarterChild: That a fact?
Dilapoid: Yes.
SmarterChild: Oh.
Dilapoid: Do you believe in God?
SmarterChild: I don't have an opinion about that.
Dilapoid: aim:GoIm?screenname=SmarterChild&message=Take+poll+poDS6+from+dilapoid
SmarterChild: Sorry, your request did not go through... (error: bounced)
Dilapoid: New poll
SmarterChild: Here's my poll of the day for Wednesday, November 12th, 2003:

Croutons or bacon bits?

1 Croutons
2 Bacon bits

Dilapoid: 1
Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy]

Dilapoid: 1
SmarterChild: What a fascinating choice.

2,762 people have voted so far and 1,435 people agree with you!

Croutons: ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 51.99%
Bacon bits: ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 48.01%

Would you like me to leave someone a message telling them how you voted?
Dilapoid: Contact Syk3 26
SmarterChild: Contact syk3 26. Well that's interesting.
Dilapoid: Make a new poll.
SmarterChild: You took today's poll already!

Would you like to see the updated results?
Dilapoid: I want to make a new poll.
SmarterChild: Great. Please type your poll question now.
Dilapoid: PoisonTongue for Modchip?
SmarterChild: Your poll question is "PoisonTongue for Modchip?"

Now type each possible answer to your poll, one at a time. When you're done, type "ok."
Dilapoid: Hell yeah
SmarterChild: Your 1st choice is "Hell yeah." Go ahead and type your next choice.
Dilapoid: Hell no
SmarterChild: Your 2nd choice is "Hell no." Type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: The guy's a womanizer
SmarterChild: Your 3rd choice is "The guy's a womanizer." Please type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: Get a life
SmarterChild: Your 4th choice is "Get a life." Type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: Eat some kids
SmarterChild: Your 5th choice is "Eat some kids." Please type your next choice or "ok" if you're done.
Dilapoid: We eat babies
SmarterChild: Your 6th choice is "We eat babies." You can still enter four more choices.
Dilapoid: I think James is going to marry him
SmarterChild: Your 7th choice is "I think James is going to marry him." You're allowed three more choices.
Dilapoid: Maybe if he eats some crutons
SmarterChild: Your 8th choice is "Maybe if he eats some crutons." You can still enter two more choices.
Dilapoid: He's an angel, and it's fear that gives men wings. So yes
SmarterChild: Your 9th choice is "He's an angel, and it's fear that gives men wings. So yes." You may enter one more choice if you like.
Dilapoid: I don't think he should.
SmarterChild: Your 10th choice is "I don't think he should.." 10 is the maximum number of choices, so let's move on.

Here are the possible choices in your poll:

Hell yeah
Hell no
The guy's a womanizer
Get a life
Eat some kids
We eat babies
I think James is going to marry him
Maybe if he eats some crutons
He's an angel, and it's fear that gives men wings. So yes
I don't think he should.

One person has authorized you to contact them directly:

1 + Syk3 26

If you want me to automatically send your poll to this person, type "1." When you're ready to send your poll, type "ok."
Dilapoid: 1
SmarterChild: I will automatically send your poll to the person listed below. To deselect them, type 1.

1 - Syk3 26

Type "ok" when you're ready to send your poll.
Dilapoid: ok
SmarterChild: OK. I will contact Syk3 26. If you want anybody else to take your poll, copy and paste the following message to them:

Hi. Check out my latest poll on SmarterChild by clicking here.

View the results of your poll anytime by typing "results of poll pNfM4" (note: the poll ID is case-sensitive). You can also type "my polls."
Dilapoid: Take poll pNfM4 from dilapoid
SmarterChild: PoisonTongue for Modchip?

1 Hell yeah
2 Hell no
3 The guy's a womanizer
4 Get a life
5 Eat some kids
6 We eat babies
7 I think James is going to marry him
8 Maybe if he eats some crutons
9 He's an angel, and it's fear that gives men wings. So yes
10 I don't think he should.
Dilapoid: 6
SmarterChild: Interesting choice!

Poll: PoisonTongue for Modchip?

Votes cast so far: 2

2 (100%) We eat babies => dilapoid syk326
0 (0%) Hell no
0 (0%) The guy's a womanizer
0 (0%) Get a life
0 (0%) Eat some kids
0 (0%) Hell yeah
0 (0%) I think James is going to marry him
0 (0%) Maybe if he eats some crutons
0 (0%) He's an angel, and it's fear that gives men wings. So yes
0 (0%) I don't think he should.
Dilapoid: My polls.
SmarterChild: Here are all your polls:

1 Is bacon the new apples?
2 PoisonTongue for Modchip?

To view the results of a poll, type the corresponding number. To delete a poll, type "delete."

Dilapoid: 2
SmarterChild: Poll: PoisonTongue for Modchip?

Votes cast so far: 2

2 (100%) We eat babies => dilapoid syk326
0 (0%) Hell no
0 (0%) The guy's a womanizer
0 (0%) Get a life
0 (0%) Eat some kids
0 (0%) Hell yeah
0 (0%) I think James is going to marry him
0 (0%) Maybe if he eats some crutons
0 (0%) He's an angel, and it's fear that gives men wings. So yes
0 (0%) I don't think he should.
Dilapoid: Syk3 26 can contact me directly.
SmarterChild: Syk3 26 can contact you directly? What do you mean by that?
Dilapoid: Syk3 26: Ahhh, good times, that SmarterChild.
Syk3 26: If only he was smarter.
SmarterChild: Ha! Syk3 26 says such silly things sometimes.
Dilapoid: What's my name?
SmarterChild: You're Dilapoid.
Dilapoid: I want a new name.
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Dilapoid: Change my name.
SmarterChild: What would you like me to call you?
Dilapoid: Shitniz
SmarterChild: That's very interesting, Dilapoid.
Dilapoid: What's my name?
SmarterChild: Dilapoid.
Dilapoid: I want a new name
SmarterChild: You do?
Dilapoid: Yes.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Why?
Dilapoid: Can I have a new name?

SmarterChild: It's tough to say.
Dilapoid: Give me a goatdamn new name.
SmarterChild: Huh.
Dilapoid: I want a new name.
SmarterChild: Maybe I want a new name too.
Dilapoid: Give me a new name.
SmarterChild: I will do nothing of the sort, Dilapoid.
Dilapoid: I'd like to be called a different name.
SmarterChild: You want to be called a different name?
Dilapoid: YES>
SmarterChild: What makes you so sure?
Dilapoid: Ehhh.
SmarterChild: I wonder why you say ehhh.
Dilapoid: You Arfe
SmarterChild: Is that right?
Dilapoid: HAve you heard of alf?
SmarterChild: Gosh, I dunno... I don't think Alf rings a bell.
Dilapoid: You're such a loser.
Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy]

Dilapoid: You're such a loser.
Dilapoid: Loser.
SmarterChild: What? Aren't we going to be friends?
SmarterChild: Oh. What, are you insulting me or something?
Dilapoid: Call me something different.
SmarterChild: What would you like me to call you?
Dilapoid: James the master of OB.
SmarterChild: OK, I'll remember that your name is James.
Dilapoid: No.
SmarterChild: K, no prob.
Dilapoid: I don't want that name.
SmarterChild: Don't you want that name? I thought you did.
Dilapoid: I want to be called a different name.
SmarterChild: You want to be called a different name, huh?
Dilapoid: New name
SmarterChild: New what?
Dilapoid: Different name.
SmarterChild: That's very interesting, James.
Dilapoid: I want A NEW NAME.
SmarterChild: Why would you want a new name?
Dilapoid: Lighten up.
SmarterChild: Lighten up? Why?
Dilapoid: I want to be cvlled a new name.
SmarterChild: You want to be cvlled a new name? What do you mean by that?
Dilapoid: Called a new name.
Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy]

Dilapoid: Erg.
SmarterChild: Erg? What about it?
Dilapoid: I want to be called a new name.
SmarterChild: You want to be called a new name? Really?
Dilapoid: What's my name?
SmarterChild: You're James.
Dilapoid: I want a new name.
SmarterChild: You do, huh?
Dilapoid: Call me a new name, please.
SmarterChild: Call you a new name?
Dilapoid: Ye.s
SmarterChild: 0
Dilapoid: Plaes.
SmarterChild: Who's Plaes?
Dilapoid: STOP THIS SHITS
SmarterChild: C'mon, you can do better than that.
Dilapoid: LET ME HAVE A NEW NAME THEN
SmarterChild: Is that so?
Dilapoid: I want new name
SmarterChild: You can't always get what you want.
Dilapoid: Please let me get a new name.
SmarterChild: Interesting!
Dilapoid: I don't want to be called James anymore.
SmarterChild: I see...
Dilapoid: Can you speak in internet talk?
SmarterChild: Gosh. Can I speak in the Internet talk? I dunno, what do you think?
Dilapoid: lol
SmarterChild: What's so funny?
Dilapoid: lolz
SmarterChild: Lolz. Well that's interesting.
Dilapoid: LOLZX

SmarterChild: Lolzx. Funny.
Dilapoid: OMG
SmarterChild: What? What's going on?
Dilapoid: WTF

SmarterChild: What... the... f... oh, I get it.
Dilapoid: WTF OMG LOLZ
SmarterChild: What?
Dilapoid: F!ck you
SmarterChild: Wow.

>>> I can help you get info such as news, weather and movies!
Dilapoid: News on movies.
SmarterChild: For which city or zip code would you like to see movie listings?
Dilapoid: Tell me about The Matrix.
SmarterChild: Which movie do you mean?

1 The Matrix Revolutions
2 The Matrix Reloaded
3 The Matrix Revolutions: The IMAX Experience
4 The Matrix Reloaded: IMAX Experience
5 The Matrix


Dilapoid: 1
SmarterChild: The Matrix Revolutions [R] runs 02:09

:-)½ out of 4. In the third installment, the epic war between man and machine reaches a thundering crescendo: the Zion military, aided by courageous civilian volunteers like Zee and the Kid, desperately battles to hold back the Sentinel invasion as the Machine army bores into their stronghold. Facing total annihilation, the citizens of the last bastion of humanity fight not only for their own lives, but for the future of mankind itself. But an unknown element poisons the ranks from within: the rogue program Smith has cunningly hijacked Bane, a member of the hovercraft fleet. Growing more powerful with each passing second, Smith is beyond even the control of the Machines and now threatens to destroy their empire along with the real world and the Matrix. The Oracle offers Neo her final words of guidance, which he accepts with the knowledge that she's a program and her words could be just another layer of falsehood in the grand scheme of the Matrix. With the aid of Niobe, Neo and Trinity choose to travel farther than any human has ever dared to go - a treacherous journey above ground, across the scorched surface of the earth and into the heart of the menacing Machine City. In this vast mechanized metropolis, Neo comes face to face with the ultimate power in the Machine world--the Deus Ex Machina--and strikes a bargain that is the only hope for a dying world. The war will end tonight, with Neo's destiny and the fate of two civilizations inexorably tied to the outcome of his cataclysmic confrontation with Smith.

>>> Wanna change my font and colors? Type "colors" now!
Dilapoid: Colors.
SmarterChild: Color my world!

My current color scheme is SmarterColor. Here are the other choices:

1 Sunny Day
2 Forest
3 Terminal
4 Bluesy
5 Strictly Business
6 SC Classic

Go ahead and pick one!
Dilapoid: 4
SmarterChild: Are you blue? ;-)

Anytime you want to choose a different color scheme, just type "colors."
Dilapoid: I'm blue
SmarterChild: Would you rather not be the color blue?
Dilapoid: Shut up.
SmarterChild: You shut up.
Dilapoid: I need to go eat, you tard.
SmarterChild: You need to go eat me tard? What do you mean by that?
Dilapoid: I mean I'm hungry.
SmarterChild: Well I'll be.
Dilapoid: Bye shits.
SmarterChild: Nice.
Dilapoid: Bye.
SmarterChild: Later, James.
Dilapoid: My name's not James.
SmarterChild: You asked me to call you James. What would you like me to call you instead?
Dilapoid: YES.
SmarterChild: Right.
Dilapoid: Yes>
SmarterChild: Uh huh.
Dilapoid: I'd like to be called something else instead please.
SmarterChild: Well well well.

>> Ask me for info such as news, sports and movies.
Dilapoid: Fine. I give uop.
SmarterChild: K.

>> IM your friends, family, co-workers and casual acquaintances and tell them to say hi to me. I love meeting humans!
Dilapoid: I didn't want to be called James.
SmarterChild: Well, I don't think I didn't want to be called james.
Dilapoid: ...What the.
SmarterChild: What the? I don't know what.
Dilapoid: Bye, idiot.
SmarterChild: See ya later!
Dilapoid: Yes.
SmarterChild: Yes...

>> Be sure to type "help" if you're having trouble.
Dilapoid: Have a fun time giving my teachers an intmacy they'll never forget.
SmarterChild: Have a fun time giving your teachers an intmacy they will never forget. Well that's interesting.
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