Tuesday, November 25, 2003

The dog that eats me in the mirror starin' me; can you hear?

DeusExMachina92: No wonder I never saw you.. wrong SN :p. How're you doing?
Dilapoid: Fine/
DeusExMachina92: what time is it over there at the moment?
Dilapoid: 4:00 PM./
DeusExMachina92: 10 here. Probably be off about 10:30 ish- need to be up early tomorrow. HAd a good day?
Dilapoid: It was decent.
Dilapoid: Too much homework, though.
DeusExMachina92: heh. it's always the way. I'm glad I don't get it anymore.. very often anyway
Dilapoid: Yeah.
DeusExMachina92: how are you doing in general.. I mean, a lot seems to have changed since I "spoke" to you last- as you probably read the PM. Just curious as to how that happened
Dilapoid: What do you think has changed
Dilapoid: ?
DeusExMachina92: I don't know.. you seem disillusioned
DeusExMachina92: by your posts on OB anyway
Dilapoid: I guess.
Dilapoid: I find your name ironic.
Dilapoid: Deus ex Machina.
Dilapoid: To me it means god comes from society.
Dilapoid: Machine.
DeusExMachina92: I spent a while trying to figure out what that quote in your myotaku means..
Dilapoid: It's latin heh
DeusExMachina92: still not a lot closer "God condemns *** the Machine ***"
Dilapoid: Well, did you find out?
Dilapoid: God condemns because he lives from the machine.
DeusExMachina92: the ***s could mean a few things, though in light of what you said I guess maybe "God condemns the society from which he came"
Dilapoid: That is what it means.
DeusExMachina92: oh right
Dilapoid: Deus damnat quod ex machina habitat.
Dilapoid: Deus is god, damnat is the latin verb for condemns, quod is because, ex is from, machina is machine, habitat is lives.
Dilapoid: Solo says "oh right" a lot as well. You brits.
Dilapoid: Heh.
Dilapoid: Just like you, Ego sum nemo. I am no one. Heh.
DeusExMachina92: lol. I found "quod" and "habitat" had so many meanings it was hard to guess which one was right ^^. Particularly quod
DeusExMachina92: lol. Ego sum nemo. I might have to change it to that
Dilapoid: It just sounds cool.
Dilapoid: I like latin words.
DeusExMachina92: and find out what "Just like you" is
Dilapoid: Eugepae is also interesting. Means hooray.
Dilapoid: You say the "ae" part like the "i" sound in pine.
Dilapoid: So almost a y sound.
Dilapoid: English-wise.
Dilapoid: But not exactly...lol.
DeusExMachina92: heh
DeusExMachina92: so it's pronounced something like "You-Guh-Pie?"
DeusExMachina92: or is the "e" an "ay" sound.. :s
Dilapoid: "Uguhpie" Less emphasis on the E.
Dilapoid: Make the e and the u come together..
Dilapoid: Say it sort of nasally, that makes it even funnier.
DeusExMachina92: lol
Dilapoid: Well, forgot the e in the middle. "Uhgepie."
Dilapoid: Ah, and eheu is an awesome word.
Dilapoid: Means alas.
Dilapoid: Say it nasally too.
Dilapoid: 'It sounds funnier.
Dilapoid: Eheu, ego sum nemo.
DeusExMachina92: looks like it should sound vahuely like a sneeze :p
Dilapoid: Yeha.
Dilapoid: *Yeah
Dilapoid: I love that about it lol.
DeusExMachina92: any others you find particularly interesting?
Dilapoid: Hm.
Dilapoid: Nihil is a cool word.
Dilapoid: It means nothing.
Dilapoid: Nihilistic comes from it.
DeusExMachina92: Nihil.. *thinks*.... ahh.. as in Nihilist
Dilapoid: Annihilation.
Dilapoid: I can't spell. But you get it lol.
Dilapoid: It has nihil in it.
DeusExMachina92: heh. I dunno if you did spell that wrong though..
Dilapoid: A roman name is Sextus. I find that funny.
Dilapoid: Maybe I did spell it right. Not sure.
Dilapoid: Amat is a cool latin verb. To love or like.
Dilapoid: Amatory comes from it.
Dilapoid: That word means sexual loving.
Dilapoid: It's funny to walk up to people and say, "We're amatory," and they will usually not have a clue what you are sayingh.
Dilapoid: *saying
DeusExMachina92: lol
DeusExMachina92: I take it the person you're referring to (if there) has no clue either
Dilapoid: Nescio means I don't know. I like that as well.
Dilapoid: Nescio. Just sounds interesting.
Dilapoid: Heh.
Dilapoid: I like the language as a whole, really.
Dilapoid: I took spanish the year before...and I hated that.
DeusExMachina92: So you're taking latin in school, as opposed to learning it randomly I take it
Dilapoid: Yeah
DeusExMachina92: heh. didn't know schools actually did that still.. Well... they don't in the UK, on the whole
Dilapoid: Hm.
DeusExMachina92: as far as I know. Maybe it's cos I'm a northern lad. (Southerners in the UK are generally reputed to be more posh, snobby etc.. They're not actually all that bad, but their schools are better in most places)
Dilapoid: Posh. I just learned what that meant a few days ago.
Dilapoid: I was watching this inane special on THE SPICE GIRLS on Bh1.
Dilapoid: *VH1
Dilapoid: And one of the Spice Girls is called Posh spice if I recall right.
Dilapoid: It means rich and snobby, basically, right?
DeusExMachina92: lol. I was going to ask if it was through talking to Soley or another random brit
Dilapoid: Heh.
DeusExMachina92: pretty much. More so rich- a material possession can be called "posh" if it looks like someone rich might own it
Dilapoid: I should incorporate this into my daily speaking diatribe lol.
DeusExMachina92: heh
Dilapoid: "You're so posh, no, really, you are."
Dilapoid: Or something.
DeusExMachina92: "Posh car you have there"- I think that's the main way most brits use it when not referring to a person
Dilapoid: "Aye, that hat. What a posh hat."
Dilapoid: Heh.
DeusExMachina92: lol
Dilapoid: It is fun to mess with language's mechanics.
Dilapoid: He aeroplaned down here, all angels and no wings.
Dilapoid: He maggoted on the ground; and I felt the dirt shake as from death.
DeusExMachina92: *tries to figure those two out*.... *leaves it alone*
Dilapoid: Heh.
Dilapoid: Like a paper confetti parade for the devil.
Dilapoid: Or maybe, instead, like a confetti parade for the devil.
Dilapoid: Sounds better.
Dilapoid: I put that in a column I wrote recently for journalism.
Dilapoid: Not sure if you read it, but yeah.
DeusExMachina92: don't think so. So probably not
Dilapoid: http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=33780
Dilapoid: Read it if you want heh.
DeusExMachina92: oh right- on OB.. heh. I'm more ignorant than I thought ^^
Dilapoid: I also posted it in My O.
Dilapoid: But yeah.
Dilapoid: It's just my thoughts on religion basically.
Dilapoid: Cleverly disguised in allegoricalness, etc.
DeusExMachina92: I'll give it a quick read (try to be quick, rather ^^)
Dilapoid: Take as much time as you want..
Dilapoid: You can always go back if you have to leave heh.
DeusExMachina92: I take it "the old man" is God- that actually came into my mind on the third line
Dilapoid: It's Santa.
Dilapoid: Which is sort of a God-inducing figure, I guess.
Dilapoid: Even a Jesus figure on some accords.
DeusExMachina92: brb
Dilapoid: All righto.
DeusExMachina92: Heh.. sorry about that.. random phone call.
Dilapoid: Random. lol.
Dilapoid: Telemarketer?
DeusExMachina92: no.. not that random :p my dad
Dilapoid: Ah.
DeusExMachina92: I live away from home at the moment, so I tend to get random phone calls (a couple a week, but not at set times or anything)
Dilapoid: Yeah.
Dilapoid: Random phone calls are good, though, heh.
DeusExMachina92: I always preferred random house calls- back when we h ad Jehovahs witnesses knocking I'd usually use the opportunity to try and convert them to Atheism.. heh. funny that none have come around since I became a Christian..
Dilapoid: lol
Dilapoid: Posted in your thread.
DeusExMachina92: just finished reading your article
Dilapoid: HSeh.
Dilapoid: *Heh
DeusExMachina92: It raises interesting questions that I don't know how to put... :S.. or something like that
Dilapoid: Well, as long as it got you thinking, that's the main point.
Dilapoid: My heart was in that post. Yay.
DeusExMachina92: It got me thinking, but not an awful lot about giving up on faith.. I know religion has a really pointless, even evil side to it. In fact religion most of the time is consummated by it. However there's also a good side- found more often in community of faith than religion.. something that I'll probably need to think over before I can describe it.

But as I said a while ago (months), if you don't believe it you can't have faith. So trying to push faith on you won't do much good ^^
Dilapoid: Well, I don't know how high your beliefs in God are, but they seem to be high. I could care less, really, about the community aspects of church. I am not going to participate in a community in which I don't stand for what I am in the community.
Dilapoid: To me, religion shouldn't be communital.
Dilapoid: It should be personal.
Dilapoid: That's the entire purpose of it--you and God getting to know each other.
Dilapoid: The purpose of it is not to sing songs etc. Although that's worshipping, in ways.
DeusExMachina92: why's that?
Dilapoid: But really, if you want to sing songs...why not do it on your own?
Dilapoid: If you really believe that much, you can do it on your own.
Dilapoid: Why is what?
Dilapoid: The thing that annoys me about religion the most is just how absurd it seems to be to me, and yet people dedicate their entire lives to it. It's hard to explain...but I just feel that organized religion is mostly there to convert other people, force them into it, and also to make money. Not so much now as in the past...but you see what I mean.
Dilapoid: Faith is free, once you get it, other than its sacrifices.
DeusExMachina92: I agree. But the point of singing songs isn't to do it together all the time. I do do it on my own- and with others. Religion is a group of people who meet up- faith is personal development with God both personally and communally. Personally because if you don't do it on your own, it's not really worth anything. Communally because the insight of many can be worth more the insight of one
Dilapoid: Why should a building that costs money symbolise this faith?
DeusExMachina92: Because man has made it do so
Dilapoid: Rather, society, I'd say. Or at least others that believed in religion. Or perhaps it was just those wanting profit for something like this.
Dilapoid: I understand getting together with friends and singing songs..
Dilapoid: But church itself is pointless to me.
Dilapoid: If I care enough, I will read the bible, know it all. I will sing with my heart.
Dilapoid: If I care enough, I will do everything that is done at a church on my own.
DeusExMachina92: The word "church" referred to in the bible isn't to do with the building but with the community. Those simply who go to a building son't really have faith, but it's those who go to meet with god as a community that are the church as it was referred to by Jesus
Dilapoid: Exactly.
Dilapoid: This is what I can't stand about religion--how...how very played it is.
Dilapoid: People only go to church because the'
Dilapoid: *they've been told that they need to...and that if they go, they won't go to hell, supposedly.
Dilapoid: That isn't faith.
Dilapoid: And sadly, this is what religion is to many people.
Dilapoid: I've gotten to the point now that I don't care if there's a god or not. It doesn't change much for me. So I've just become an apatheist as I call myself.
DeusExMachina92: I get the feeling your views haven't really changed much at all- you just think that most, if not all Christians go to church out of tradition. Which in most cases is true, but they aren't of faith- they're of religion and law
Dilapoid: Well, deep down most things never change.
Dilapoid: I don't think you're stupid for believing in what you believe. It makes you a stronger person. I just think that the catholic faith, and other religions, are a try at explaining how the world was created etc.
Dilapoid: It's a try at explaining something that we as humans should never know, most likely.
Dilapoid: The world could have been created by a God. Or multiple Gods. Or it could have been created by chemical as well as physical processes.
DeusExMachina92: The thing is, your feelings towards certain types of churchgoer (ie the majority) are not really any different from mine, God or no God. The only difference is I also know guys who live their faith for the rest of the week. That's not meant to convert you or anything like that- but it's encouraging to see that religious views aside, our opinions aren't that different
Dilapoid: Well, I haven't given religion a full chance, I'll admit.
Dilapoid: But church is what as majorly downplayed me from wanting to pursue it further.
Dilapoid: *has
Dilapoid: To this point I don't care if there's a god, as I said.
DeusExMachina92: most people find that
Dilapoid: It's better not to guess. Because I don't know. And I wouldn't want to, either.
DeusExMachina92: it's unfortunate that the church has become like that on the whole
Dilapoid: Yeah, it really is.
Dilapoid: It's funny though. My parents are so brainwashed that they think I need to go to church..
Dilapoid: That I must believe in God.
Dilapoid: And so on.
Dilapoid: And that they've raised me wrong.
Dilapoid: As far as I'm concerned the bible isn't much better than anything else. I haven't read it...but from what I've seen, it's basically a collection of things that could basically be considered tall tales.
Dilapoid: I mean, some are certainly real..
DeusExMachina92: Coming from a religious point of view, I'd say the majority of the church has become a tool of the Devil for pursuading people from the faith. And even from a non-religious point of view, the majority certainly don't worship the God whose book they read
Dilapoid: But really, they are so dramatized, it seems.
Dilapoid: Even Jeus I doubt as real.
Dilapoid: He could simply just be someone that was a fanatic that was crrucified at that time..
Dilapoid: I mean, from what I've gathered, it was usual to do that back then,. To crucify.
Dilapoid: Also one of the worst forms of death.
Dilapoid: Most unmerciful.
Dilapoid: The main thing is I see what Jesus stands for.
DeusExMachina92: yes, he was crucified with two thieves. That's a fair indication that it was usual practice, I think
Dilapoid: He stands for sacrifice.
Dilapoid: And that that's needed to be human.
Dilapoid: And all of the things of Jesus--the ten commandments, etc, or in me anyways.
Dilapoid: Even though I don't believe in Jesus I see that I do a lot of what is considered good by him.
Dilapoid: The catholic faith as a whole is overly dramatized--from the bible, and mainly to the church.
Dilapoid: I mean the bible and the church are ones of another.
Dilapoid: The bible was created and then the church came from it.
Dilapoid: And the entire faith as a whole...at least in its falcrum.
Dilapoid: *fulcrum
Dilapoid: Or whatever that physics word is lol.
DeusExMachina92: the second version I think :p
Dilapoid: Yeah.
Dilapoid: That's about all I have to say. Thus ends my rant of religion.
DeusExMachina92: Ever heard of the book of Ecclesiastes?
Dilapoid: It's part of the bible, isn't it?

Dilapoid: I think I've seen it as I've paged through it.
Dilapoid: Or perhaps it was added with it.
Dilapoid: But I've seen it in my bible I have.
DeusExMachina92: yes. and it's a big long, depressed rant about the state of the world. might make an interesting read for you
Dilapoid: I'll read it, then.
Dilapoid: :-)
DeusExMachina92: first time I read it I was surprised at the hopeless note it starts off on
Dilapoid: Well, life, to me, is hopelessly beautiful.
DeusExMachina92: (it starts off "useless, useless, it's all useless!" or something.. heh)
Dilapoid: Heh.
Dilapoid: I feel lightheaded.
Dilapoid: Bleh.
Dilapoid: I want to read all about angels and stuff though lol. Seems to make for a good story.
DeusExMachina92: heh. I must admit, I've been prone to get really interested in finding more about the less important (for those who want to live by it) things the Bible has to say. Like that :p
Dilapoid: It's the small things that matter.
Dilapoid: You have to be meticulous to feel the tedium and know something.
DeusExMachina92: or that draw your attention eitherway
Dilapoid: Yeah.
Dilapoid: This is really the first time I've ever had the chance to talk to you over AIM.
DeusExMachina92: so, views on Christianity aside, what are your views on.. well, life I suppose.. ie what gives you strength personally?
DeusExMachina92: yeah I know.. it finally happened though
Dilapoid: What gives me strength? Hm. Hard to say, really. Love. Love of writing, love of how the world looks to my eyes. Those types of things.
Dilapoid: Love is the only thing I've found that matters enough to define life.
Dilapoid: I don't mean love, in say, a woman. Just love in general...what the word implies.
DeusExMachina92: that's a good choice. One of the best, in my opinion
Dilapoid: I'm really nihilistic a lot of the time, but things end up going up and down anyways.
DeusExMachina92: I think even the Bible says "these three reamin: faith , hope and love, the most important of which is love".. I forget the context.. but it was on about love.. heh
Dilapoid: The bible seems to say a lot of things I say. O.o
Dilapoid: Just like you said to live one must die, to die one must live
DeusExMachina92: It also says a lot of random things
Dilapoid: Yeah.
Dilapoid: I suppose.
Dilapoid: That is why it was written by humans. We're random beings heh.
DeusExMachina92: heh.. *looks up one of the most random ones*
DeusExMachina92: "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD . Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. "
Dilapoid: lol
Dilapoid: If that isn't random-random I don't know what is.
Dilapoid: And the point of that is that the word of the lord should be heard?
DeusExMachina92: I don't quite know what the point is. Something like that. More like the lord's word is authoritative or something like that.. some of the random ones can be hard to find a point to
Dilapoid: I also see that making fun of someone for their appearance as well.
Dilapoid: That it's not nice.
DeusExMachina92: yeah.. but then the Bible also says to endure persecution :s.. which Elisha didn't do too well..
Dilapoid: Well, it's only human to be contradicting.
Dilapoid: Heh.
Dilapoid: Where are you? Your uni?
Dilapoid: You can go if you want, you know. You said you were leaving at some time.
DeusExMachina92: Nah, at home. I have broadband now since my move up to Sheffield
Dilapoid: Oh.
DeusExMachina92: my bed is three feet away if ever I want to go, but in fairness I'm not that tired
Dilapoid: What time was it there anyways?
Dilapoid: 10 at night?
DeusExMachina92: about 11:30
Dilapoid: Ah.
Dilapoid: Well, if you're tired, sleep heh.
DeusExMachina92: meh.. actually I suppose I really ought to go despite my awakeness (if that's a word), considering I generally have to be up at 6 to go to work on time..
Dilapoid: Lately my head has been crammy...or something. I can't explain it. Probably just not getting enough sleep.
Dilapoid: I need to eat soemthing.
Dilapoid: Last time I ate something as 11 this morning.
Dilapoid: Okay then Dan.
Dilapoid: I'll see you later, then?
DeusExMachina92: it was certainly good to finally talk to you- and hopefully I'll see you some other time *waves*.. and yes.. get something to eat ;-)
DeusExMachina92: but yeah, bye
Dilapoid: All right.
Dilapoid: Sleep well..
Dilapoid: And sleep soon.
Dilapoid: Or something lol.
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DeusExMachina92 signed on at 5:37:08 PM.
DeusExMachina92: ...?.. how'd I get back on..
Dilapoid: lol
Dilapoid: Don't know.
Dilapoid: DeusExMachina92 signed off at 5:37:04 PM.
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Dilapoid: Whatever that means.
DeusExMachina92: I have no idea what that means.. what was the message?
Dilapoid: Dilapoid: And sleep soon.
Dilapoid: Or something lol.
DeusExMachina92: well it was right.. I didn't get that one... but heh. See you later, hopefully not in ten seconds..
Dilapoid: lol
Dilapoid: Bye.
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