Thursday, December 2, 2004

Invagination

This week hasn't been fun at all.

I've got a sore throat, it hurts each time I swallow, and after I've laid down on my bed for a while, my throat hurts no matter what.

I failed a math quiz we had the other day - got it back today - and I didn't feel too good about that. Although it is my fault because I did not study, it still only continues to pound into me what this week's been like so far.

My dad was over here, he just left, and he was sighing in his annoyed, defeated way. My mom's apparently at the bar tonight, with her "boyfriend" and he said she's pretty drunk on the phone. She says she'll be home in half an hour, but it is doubtful; and I really don't care. I'm tired, and am going to go to sleep, and should be sleeping now - but here I am typing this at the last moment before I respite and go into tomorrow.

Someone stole my iPod today. I was working out in the school weightroom as I always do with my friend Sean (pronounced "Shawn") after school. I had just finished biking so I set my iPod on the counter near the entrance to the room, and went to benchpress and do my 125 whatyouhaveit sit-ups I do.

I came back and the white headphones of the iPod were there, and the case, but it was gone.

I got the teacher supervising there, Mr. Murdock, to help search around - he had everyone do so that was in there - and we came up with nothing. I searched the mens' locker room and found nothing.

As Sean and I were changing back into our regular clothes, he asked me if I was pissed. I told him I was, but there was no emotion in my voice; and it is true - I am pissed, but not in some big way.

Lately, it seems I'm numbing to everything again, I guess. I don't know. I just feel a lack of feeling. I feel a dissipation in enjoyment. I just don't care, but I force myself to, like everyone else. You've just got to do what you've got to do.

I have no clue who would've stolen my iPod. But it is a pretty stupid thing. Stealing is wrong, there is no if or but. And we're talking $300 here, I spent from my own pocket, to buy it.

It was stupid on my part to leave it sitting out, and I guess in part I do blame myself for losing it.

I am pissed about it, but not in a really seething way. I am kind of brushing it off I guess, at this point in time, because I am hopeful something will turn up tomorrow. And as time goes on and the search for it gets more desperate, then I'll have more of a reaction I suppose.

Anatomy is a hard class. Right now, we're studying muscles. As I've said before, our text is a college-level one and I find it very hard to get into it. It's not that it's hard to read, it's just that it is very termy (as Science is), and that I get lost, and have to continually refocus myself on what I'm reading.

For the muscle test, we have to memorize forty muscles, and their origins and terminations. I've got some major studying to do that isn't going to just get done, either. I have a C - in the class at this point, and all my other grades are dropping, too. I've got some work to do, but I just can't keep myself focused. School seems to be running at a ruthless pace, and I've got other things on my mind, and I've got work to worry about, and so many other things. It's hard, and I'm sure for everyone else it is too, that is at the kind of situation I am.

My new car I got, a few days ago, I left its lights on and because of this the battery went dead. I had to call my mom three times, and then I finally told her to get a friend to jumpstart my car for me, because no one else was going to.

As for writing, I've not written a thing this week. I don't have the time. My days consist of going to school and coming home, and if I have work I go there until around 10 and come home and do homework. If I don't work, I relax - today, in fact, I took a needed nap (which I hope will help combant whatever I'm getting ill with). I also go to friends' houses, and then I do my homework. It is still not enough time to relax, though.

I usually have three days off on a week, but as I've said I have to always work the weekends, which makes it so my weeks are just long strings of going to school, going to school, working, and on the weekends working working working, and then the next week comes and the next week and it keeps going and going on and on like that. But what can I do. I've got my car to worry about now, financially.

When I was at work yesterday, Chris Kuuntz was talking to me about my new car, and I answered him. A while later he said I didn't seem to really care about my new car - I wasn't excited or anything. I guess it's true. To me, a car is just transportation, and that is all - I see no other point about it. I don't even understand why I listened to my mom and got a new car. Now, I do know I need a nicer car to travel to and from Dickinson if and when I go to college there, but really, I'm just not happy with buying a car that's as expensive as this one is. Sure, it is only 11,000-something dollars, but that is a lot of money for me. And I don't even really own it, either: I've payments each month for it.

Not much else to say. Tired of school, and so forth and so on. . .I won't bore you with it. I'm sure you're feeling the same.

All I hope is my throat feels better tomorrow. But I'm sure it'll get worse. . .
Comments (4)